(no subject)
yesterday was an odd day at work. i am drunk and concentrating pretty hsarfd to make this happen so for everyone's sake i will brake it down into 2 familiar categories. (familiar if, you know, yo read my page. which you are doing right now. how meta!)
STUFF: customers at best buy on wednesday editipon!
stuff i really hate:
okayt, so i guess this migt not actually count as a customer at the buy. also, it will make me sound waaay old. on my lunch break i decided to get a rice bowl because i am trying to not eat bad thi ngs and rice and grilled chicklen seems healthy enough to me. so the parking lotds in mission valley, san diego are kind of weird amd have stop signs all over them because california drivers are so retarded that they cannot even navigate a parking lot without instruction. and even this seems not to help too much but i digress. . . .
\
i am cruising at the m ighty speed of 3mph through said parking lot and there is a groups of children in the middle of the land. (not the walking through empty spaces, but walking in te middle of the lanes. these children happen to be african american which i only mention because it is pertinent in the fture of this story. there are three skinny ones and one fat one and all of them look to be under 10 - it wouldve reminde d me of a affirmative action "sandlot" if i werent so effing annoyed by them.
so they are strutting the lane. they see me coming and instead of clearing to the side walk or nearby empty parking spaces like normal people would they change direction to walk exactly. down. the. lane. with no clear destiniation save more driving lane in front of them.
now i am not very [atient to begin with. plus i have a mere thirty minnuted for lunch. they shoot me a look and i raise my eyebrows in the srtandard facial expression known to mean "hi, i'm trying to be nice but please get the kcuf out of my way now."
they conmtinue a few feet to a stop sign at a t-section in the parking lot and kcufing stop moving at all! so now four little ten-year-lds are standing directly in the middle of the parking lot with no way for me to go around them due to shops onm one side parked vehicles on the other.
i honk my horn. not LAY on it. but tap it.
this is apparently the reaction they were waiting for as the smallest one (of course!) says, "you can wait nigga!"
nigga? firsat of all. i am very not black. second ly does this kid even know what "nigga" means? and wy the kcuf do i have to wait on MY lunch break when THEY are the ones using the middle of a driving lane as a public forum?
so i reply, "MOVE"
to which the sandlot takes as a sign to surround my car like an ethnic children of the corn. because you know, nothing is more threatening than having your suv surrounded by three ten-ear-olds., (the fat one either did not ant to put forth the effoert or actually wasnt a jerk.)
"you gonna do something? what can you do?" says one who is not the fat one and not the smallest one.
so i replied ion the best, non violent way i know how. i whip out my helio device and pretend to call te parking lot security. the sandlot disperses as i roll my window down so they may hear my fake call in which i am giving an accurate description to the fake security officer on the other line.
amazingly they finally decided this was teh time to get on the side walk.
the one with the mouth who had stepped up to my drivers side window tripped onthe curb to my sattisfaction and i went to lunch.
the end.
of the first part.
part two:
stuff i really love:
the seventy year old lady who looked rather fiftyish and was amazed at my categorical knowledge of songs with the word "aangel" in it. she gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek befoere telling me i had just helped her finish creating the album she wis going ot hacve distributed at her funeral.
it was the awesomest work event ever.
i would go more into detaik, but i blew my load on the first story. i;ll probably rwevisit these tales in sobriety.
STUFF: customers at best buy on wednesday editipon!
stuff i really hate:
okayt, so i guess this migt not actually count as a customer at the buy. also, it will make me sound waaay old. on my lunch break i decided to get a rice bowl because i am trying to not eat bad thi ngs and rice and grilled chicklen seems healthy enough to me. so the parking lotds in mission valley, san diego are kind of weird amd have stop signs all over them because california drivers are so retarded that they cannot even navigate a parking lot without instruction. and even this seems not to help too much but i digress. . . .
\
i am cruising at the m ighty speed of 3mph through said parking lot and there is a groups of children in the middle of the land. (not the walking through empty spaces, but walking in te middle of the lanes. these children happen to be african american which i only mention because it is pertinent in the fture of this story. there are three skinny ones and one fat one and all of them look to be under 10 - it wouldve reminde d me of a affirmative action "sandlot" if i werent so effing annoyed by them.
so they are strutting the lane. they see me coming and instead of clearing to the side walk or nearby empty parking spaces like normal people would they change direction to walk exactly. down. the. lane. with no clear destiniation save more driving lane in front of them.
now i am not very [atient to begin with. plus i have a mere thirty minnuted for lunch. they shoot me a look and i raise my eyebrows in the srtandard facial expression known to mean "hi, i'm trying to be nice but please get the kcuf out of my way now."
they conmtinue a few feet to a stop sign at a t-section in the parking lot and kcufing stop moving at all! so now four little ten-year-lds are standing directly in the middle of the parking lot with no way for me to go around them due to shops onm one side parked vehicles on the other.
i honk my horn. not LAY on it. but tap it.
this is apparently the reaction they were waiting for as the smallest one (of course!) says, "you can wait nigga!"
nigga? firsat of all. i am very not black. second ly does this kid even know what "nigga" means? and wy the kcuf do i have to wait on MY lunch break when THEY are the ones using the middle of a driving lane as a public forum?
so i reply, "MOVE"
to which the sandlot takes as a sign to surround my car like an ethnic children of the corn. because you know, nothing is more threatening than having your suv surrounded by three ten-ear-olds., (the fat one either did not ant to put forth the effoert or actually wasnt a jerk.)
"you gonna do something? what can you do?" says one who is not the fat one and not the smallest one.
so i replied ion the best, non violent way i know how. i whip out my helio device and pretend to call te parking lot security. the sandlot disperses as i roll my window down so they may hear my fake call in which i am giving an accurate description to the fake security officer on the other line.
amazingly they finally decided this was teh time to get on the side walk.
the one with the mouth who had stepped up to my drivers side window tripped onthe curb to my sattisfaction and i went to lunch.
the end.
of the first part.
part two:
stuff i really love:
the seventy year old lady who looked rather fiftyish and was amazed at my categorical knowledge of songs with the word "aangel" in it. she gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek befoere telling me i had just helped her finish creating the album she wis going ot hacve distributed at her funeral.
it was the awesomest work event ever.
i would go more into detaik, but i blew my load on the first story. i;ll probably rwevisit these tales in sobriety.