(no subject)
why can't i do this? i have so much to do. i can't do it. i can't get caught up. i have no time or motivation. i am almost literaly staring down the barrel of a gun. i feel like my insides have turned to mush. i don't sleep well anymore. i'm always stressed out and i'm always bitching about being stressed out and i hate it and i'm learning to hate myself. i don't give a damn about jean-jacques rousseau, the carpet wars, or fiscal policy and budgeting. i just want myself back. i want to be happy for one day in the midst of all this. i know it won't last forever, but it's taking its toll on me.