At 9pm last Wednesday I called my cousin Aaron...
...and had to be the one to tell him his mother's dead. He's barely 1 year older than me, in the middle of being 33. His mother just turned 65; she's (was...crap) the oldest child in that family (her, my mom, and their 2 younger brothers)
When I got the news I called him and it went straight to voice mail, I thought he was on the phone with his dad or one of his four siblings and I left an emotional message. I was shocked when he called back 20 minutes later and said "what's going on?" I tried to say the words, but all that would come out is "I'm sorry, I thought you knew..." and then he said "oh my god my mother's dead isn't she" and hung up. I felt absolutely awful. A couple hours later he sent a text that said "don't worry about being the one to tell me."
Here’s what happened, as written by Aaron’s older sister:
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My Mom had pretty major surgery on her foot almost a year ago. She had some of her bones fused together and a plate put in, due to severe arthritis. She seemed to heal well, taking everything in stride and using a little scooter to get around while she healed. She has had a limp ever since, but for all intents and purposes, she has been fine. Last Wednesday, March 12, she woke up at 6 am with severe pain in her foot. Dad was already at work. She called him and told him she had already called an ambulance, she hurt that badly. He met her at the ER at St. Clare's Hospital just a few blocks away. After sitting in the waiting room, they finally got her in and did X-rays. They couldn't see anything wrong. There were no fractures, all the hardware was still in place. There was also no swelling or redness anywhere. To the eye, there was no reason for all that pain. They did not know what else to do but to give her a prescription for Lortab, and recommended she see her orthopedic surgeon. They called the doc immediately and had an appt. set for 11:30 am. They made it home just long enough for Dad to run and get her prescrip. filled before they left to go to Albany and see her doc. When they made it to the doctor's office, Mom was in so much pain she pleaded to get in and see the doctor right away. They ended up waiting for 45 minutes before she was seen, and Mom was nearly passing out. She complained of tightness in her chest, but Dad told her it was because she had been hyperventilating for the last several hours and they did not mention it to anyone. When the doc finally got to her, he was also stumped, until he put a needle in and drew out blood and fluid. There was definitely an infection that has gotten in there. He told Mom and Dad that she would need surgery that day to clean out the infection, and they were sent to the Albany Regional Hospital, which was closer to where they were. The surgery was scheduled for 5:30 pm. In the meantime, Mom was put on an antibiotic IV drip and morphine. There were delays there as the doc had prescribed penicillin, which Mom was allergic to. They had to contact the ortho guy to have the antibiotic changed to Arithromycin. There was also all the paperwork to fill out. However, Mom was finally starting to feel better when they got her all hooked up and medicated. In the meantime, she had some keys for the store she worked at that were really needed. She asked Dad to get the keys to the store for her. Dad wanted to hang around until she went into surgery. 5:30 came and went and still no doc. 6:00 came and went...no doc. The store needed the keys and Dad could delay no longer. Mom told him she was in good hands, and that everything would be fine. The pain had slacked off, and she told him to go. So he left, and stopped at the house to get the needed keys. The hospital called while he was at the house, and told him there had been a "change in status" and to return to the hospital right away. He stopped by the store, dropped off the keys, and high-tailed it outta there. While he had gone, her lungs had started filling with infection, and her heart slowed down. By the time Dad walked in, she had gone into cardiac arrest. They did everything they could, but could not save her. She passed away somewhere around 8 pm.
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DjB