#07 the double-edged sword
Can you ever be happy and sad at the same time. Giddily happy and painfully sad.
At. the.exact.same.moment. So that you're no longer sure if those coursing tears are from joy or sadness.
I can. And it bothers me. I wish I could separate the happy from the sad, so that I can distill pure emotion and not an adulterated version to store away for future use when I really need it. I don't like it when I pull out my "happy memories" folder and everything inside is slightly tainted with niggly black stains taunting me: "are you sure that was really happy? remember this? remember that?".
I know the solution to this but I don't wish to execute it. Sometimes, filing down one edge of the double-edged sword means no longer having the option of using that edge as a back-up when the other goes blunt.
At. the.exact.same.moment. So that you're no longer sure if those coursing tears are from joy or sadness.
I can. And it bothers me. I wish I could separate the happy from the sad, so that I can distill pure emotion and not an adulterated version to store away for future use when I really need it. I don't like it when I pull out my "happy memories" folder and everything inside is slightly tainted with niggly black stains taunting me: "are you sure that was really happy? remember this? remember that?".
I know the solution to this but I don't wish to execute it. Sometimes, filing down one edge of the double-edged sword means no longer having the option of using that edge as a back-up when the other goes blunt.