(no subject)
So, the week from hell has ended. It pretty much sucked hardcore with a few random fun times. Monday was Junior Greek Council meeting which was unexpectedly a lot of fun. It's one person from ever chapter and we plan events (I think?) and I've already gotten close with a ZBT boy (obviously). Then after that it was pretty much all downhill. I studied the entire week for my Politics test. I had a presentation on Wednesday and it was all rainy and gross out and I slipped and fell and my nice black pants got all muddy and I was late to the presentation. But Mark got me breakfast and Gamma Phi Beta bag and I looooved it and it made my day :) This morning was my polysci test which was... interesting? I kicked ass on the essay but I pretty much guessed on half of the multiple choice questions.
Tomorrow I'm going home for Spring Break and it's the weirdest feeling in the world because I'm not excited like I usually am. I, of course, want to see my family and friends and eat food (that's all I care about, food haha), but I just sort of feel like going home is going to disrupt the normalcy and way of life that I've gotten used to here. I've never felt like this. It's not that I'll be wishing I was here because there is literally no one that will be here... But it's just going to be odd I guess. Also, Mark is at Michigan with Seth for a few days and I'm jealous and I miss him (cause I'm pathetic and I get sad when I can't see him for a week).
I've just been feeling so stressed out and worried lately. And a major issue I've been thinking about is that I am positively terrified that I'll never be able to get over Mark. I woke up this morning at 3:30am to Kelly crying on the phone with her ex-boyfriend Mike about how all she wants is to be with him. She cheated on him countless times and she seemed so happy being single, always talking about how great it was. I just feel like I'll never be able to move on. I know it takes time and I'm sure that whatever it is that Mark and I are now isn't helping anything, because for the most part we still act like we're together. I know I still have feelings for him and I absolutely do not want to lose our friendship and I love him still, I feel like I always will. I just wish I could talk to someone whose been through it successfully and moved on and found another relationship thats amazing... I would consider talking to my mom but she married my dad so that's not exactly a wonderful example. Maybe quality time at home with the girls is exactly what I need. It will be so weird without Mark and Seth home but Adam will be home for a day then it's just me, Velzy, Ari, Nika, and Meg then Em comes home next Friday which I cannot waittttt for.
I want to empty out my head or get a hugeeee vacuum and take all of the stress and worry out. I'm going to convince myself that I don't care and won't worry about Mark this weekend and whether or not he hooks up with someone... Rightttt.
Tomorrow I'm going home for Spring Break and it's the weirdest feeling in the world because I'm not excited like I usually am. I, of course, want to see my family and friends and eat food (that's all I care about, food haha), but I just sort of feel like going home is going to disrupt the normalcy and way of life that I've gotten used to here. I've never felt like this. It's not that I'll be wishing I was here because there is literally no one that will be here... But it's just going to be odd I guess. Also, Mark is at Michigan with Seth for a few days and I'm jealous and I miss him (cause I'm pathetic and I get sad when I can't see him for a week).
I've just been feeling so stressed out and worried lately. And a major issue I've been thinking about is that I am positively terrified that I'll never be able to get over Mark. I woke up this morning at 3:30am to Kelly crying on the phone with her ex-boyfriend Mike about how all she wants is to be with him. She cheated on him countless times and she seemed so happy being single, always talking about how great it was. I just feel like I'll never be able to move on. I know it takes time and I'm sure that whatever it is that Mark and I are now isn't helping anything, because for the most part we still act like we're together. I know I still have feelings for him and I absolutely do not want to lose our friendship and I love him still, I feel like I always will. I just wish I could talk to someone whose been through it successfully and moved on and found another relationship thats amazing... I would consider talking to my mom but she married my dad so that's not exactly a wonderful example. Maybe quality time at home with the girls is exactly what I need. It will be so weird without Mark and Seth home but Adam will be home for a day then it's just me, Velzy, Ari, Nika, and Meg then Em comes home next Friday which I cannot waittttt for.
I want to empty out my head or get a hugeeee vacuum and take all of the stress and worry out. I'm going to convince myself that I don't care and won't worry about Mark this weekend and whether or not he hooks up with someone... Rightttt.