I wrote this and thought it was funny.
What is a whore to do; I currently have no cash flow and no man to take care of me. So, I ask again, what is a whore to do? I haven’t had sex in 2 weeks, I think I’m starting to gain weight and I have no job opportunities in sight. At this rate, I might as well go jump off the quarry. Unfortunately, the water is up, so my only hope would be to drown. Too bad I’m a terrible swimmer. I would hate for people to think that I couldn’t swim. Also when you drown, your body bloats up in the water. I don’t need anymore bloating. I don’t want people to think that I am bigger than I already am. So, I ask again, what is a whore to do?
I could always try my luck at the porn industry, unfortunately again, they want me to be skinnier and less uhm, me looking. I’m not saying I’m ugly. No, No, far from it. But I have that boy next door face, and no one wants to screw the boy next door. They have already screwed the boy next door, that one is child’s play. All you do is sit them down and ask them if they want a massage; they say yes, you start massaging. It turns into a hand job, which turns into a blow job. Yes, the boys next door are the easy ones. I would have to put on some muscle, everyone’s all into muscle jocks with 2% body fat and 10% personality. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I like a little muscle too. I just think it is ridiculous when the steroids have gone down and taken away your remembrance of a penis. No, I can’t do the muscle thing. I think porn may be out of it for me.
I would work in a sex shop and that would be fun, until someone I knew came in. Of course they walk out empty handed when I’m working and claimed just to be looking around, but when they walked in they definitely spent a lot of time eyeing that “Lesbian Lucy’s Lawless LA Life”. Not that I am saying that porn is a bad thing, I mean, I thought about doing it once (see paragraph above). I don’t believe they wanted nothing, I almost feel sorry for the miserable bastard. He came all this way but never got to cum.
I guess I could get a real job. You know the corporate, 40 hours a week job where I would go in and would secretly be blowing the job under the desk, so I could get that promotion that I really didn’t even want. I really was just sucking his cock, because well, he had a pretty nice cock. I never even expected the promotion. I start working long hours with him and then he tells me he wants to leave his wife for me. I don’t think that I can tolerate breaking up a marriage. I met Theresa she is a great girl and always nice for me, although I think I saw her buying “Lesbian Lucy’s Louisiana Licking”, I am unsure if I could do that. So I tell him no and he starts to cry and it is a big upset mess, so I think that working in an office is out for me. I can’t do that to Theresa.
Well, I guess, I am down to being a night watchman. That could be an awesome job. I stroll the mall at night looking for vandals. I go through the shops looking at all the pretty stuff and smelling the remaining odor of the Aunt Anne’s pretzels. That would be nice; however, knowing my luck some kids would break in and I would run down and catch them. I would only catch one of them and then I would hand cuff them. They would say there Dad is rich and will buy his way out, and I get interested. I say okay fine Tommy, I will let you go and you have your Dad call me. I await the call and I get it and it is my old boss from the corporate, and he says that he is glad his son got caught by me and maybe we can start hooking up again. I tell him no and Theresa picks up the phone and tells me to quit calling this number and hangs up. Man, I just simply cannot catch a break!
In the end, I have just decided to remain unemployed. Not only do I find that to be a safer alternative for me, but I also know that I won’t hurt Theresa. I mean worse comes to worse, I could just become a prostitute… well, maybe not.
I could always try my luck at the porn industry, unfortunately again, they want me to be skinnier and less uhm, me looking. I’m not saying I’m ugly. No, No, far from it. But I have that boy next door face, and no one wants to screw the boy next door. They have already screwed the boy next door, that one is child’s play. All you do is sit them down and ask them if they want a massage; they say yes, you start massaging. It turns into a hand job, which turns into a blow job. Yes, the boys next door are the easy ones. I would have to put on some muscle, everyone’s all into muscle jocks with 2% body fat and 10% personality. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I like a little muscle too. I just think it is ridiculous when the steroids have gone down and taken away your remembrance of a penis. No, I can’t do the muscle thing. I think porn may be out of it for me.
I would work in a sex shop and that would be fun, until someone I knew came in. Of course they walk out empty handed when I’m working and claimed just to be looking around, but when they walked in they definitely spent a lot of time eyeing that “Lesbian Lucy’s Lawless LA Life”. Not that I am saying that porn is a bad thing, I mean, I thought about doing it once (see paragraph above). I don’t believe they wanted nothing, I almost feel sorry for the miserable bastard. He came all this way but never got to cum.
I guess I could get a real job. You know the corporate, 40 hours a week job where I would go in and would secretly be blowing the job under the desk, so I could get that promotion that I really didn’t even want. I really was just sucking his cock, because well, he had a pretty nice cock. I never even expected the promotion. I start working long hours with him and then he tells me he wants to leave his wife for me. I don’t think that I can tolerate breaking up a marriage. I met Theresa she is a great girl and always nice for me, although I think I saw her buying “Lesbian Lucy’s Louisiana Licking”, I am unsure if I could do that. So I tell him no and he starts to cry and it is a big upset mess, so I think that working in an office is out for me. I can’t do that to Theresa.
Well, I guess, I am down to being a night watchman. That could be an awesome job. I stroll the mall at night looking for vandals. I go through the shops looking at all the pretty stuff and smelling the remaining odor of the Aunt Anne’s pretzels. That would be nice; however, knowing my luck some kids would break in and I would run down and catch them. I would only catch one of them and then I would hand cuff them. They would say there Dad is rich and will buy his way out, and I get interested. I say okay fine Tommy, I will let you go and you have your Dad call me. I await the call and I get it and it is my old boss from the corporate, and he says that he is glad his son got caught by me and maybe we can start hooking up again. I tell him no and Theresa picks up the phone and tells me to quit calling this number and hangs up. Man, I just simply cannot catch a break!
In the end, I have just decided to remain unemployed. Not only do I find that to be a safer alternative for me, but I also know that I won’t hurt Theresa. I mean worse comes to worse, I could just become a prostitute… well, maybe not.