It's not all that different....
Today is my birthday. I turned 25. I always thought it would be different. I thought I would feel more accomplished or something. I thought I would feel more sad. I think it's more disturbing to feel nothing. I wasn't happy, sad, accomplished, angry, nostalgic, grateful... it just seemed like another day. Another day that i'm letting pass by. It seems as the years go by that I just feel more numb. What really irked me today, is that while i'm feeling numb...it seems the others in my life can't reach me through the numbness and it seems as if they don't really want to try anymore. The more I push people away, the more they aren't trying to hold on to me anymore. I don't do it intentionally, this is the problem. I need someone to help put things back together, but at the same time I don't want to ask and i'm not sure why. I don't even know if this makes sense to anyone else but me and maybe that is another problem.
Happy Birthday to me.
Happy Birthday to me.