A collection of letters
Dear Mob of Children,
I was initially confused when I heard you yelling on South U today. I thought you were some rowdy football fans that were a little too preemptive for my taste. When I went outside and saw that it was instead you, a gang of forty or so middle schoolers out at 2:30 on a school day pumping your arms, encouraging cars to honk, I was really perplexed but at the same time really amused. So thanks for making me smile! I would honk for you if I had a horn I carried around with me.
Amused,
Jen
Dear Jim,
I do not like it when you are mean to Pam, telling her you are seeing someone. Even though that other girl is exotic looking according to Michael, she is not as sweet and pretty and wonderful as Pam. Please change your attitude.
Dissapointedly,
Jen
Dear Grey's Anatomy,
You make me cry week after week. But I, the queen of all things cheesy/corny, really appreciate that.
Tearily,
Jen
Dear Martha Cook,
You look so pretty! I'm glad you're all dressed up for Christmas now. I really wish we still had William's bust around and could tie a nice silver bow tie around his neck. I'm really excited to sing Silver Bells at Messiah. You're so neat.
Your resident,
Jen
Dear elusive janky smell in my hallway,
Thanks for providing me with continuous moments of entertainment everytime I walk down the hall, especially when I pass Katie and she excitedly alerts me you are there.
With my nose plugged,
Jen
Dear Colony,
I've come to realize the pants I have to wear to work at you are probably the reason no one takes life seriously when they are at you. Who could, with such wonderful pants? I am very excited to wear them to Christmas breakfast on the 14th, preferably with my shirt tucked in and the waistband flipped up so as to prominently display the "Colony Swim Club" with crocodiles.
Trap or die,
Jen
Dear legs,
Please get ready for the Turkey Trot. I realize I'm not doing much to help you in this respect, but at least it's supposed to be 50 and sunny on Thanksgiving day. I promise to reward you with all sorts of fattening food if you just let me make it the 6.2 miles.
With all the motivation I can muster,
Jen
Dear NSync,
Thanks for producing such a baller Christmas album. I let myself listen to a little bit after decorating to get myself even more in the spirit.
Your fan,
Jen
Dear friends that are far away,
I miss you but I will get to see you so soon so I am really excited!
Love,
Jen
I was initially confused when I heard you yelling on South U today. I thought you were some rowdy football fans that were a little too preemptive for my taste. When I went outside and saw that it was instead you, a gang of forty or so middle schoolers out at 2:30 on a school day pumping your arms, encouraging cars to honk, I was really perplexed but at the same time really amused. So thanks for making me smile! I would honk for you if I had a horn I carried around with me.
Amused,
Jen
Dear Jim,
I do not like it when you are mean to Pam, telling her you are seeing someone. Even though that other girl is exotic looking according to Michael, she is not as sweet and pretty and wonderful as Pam. Please change your attitude.
Dissapointedly,
Jen
Dear Grey's Anatomy,
You make me cry week after week. But I, the queen of all things cheesy/corny, really appreciate that.
Tearily,
Jen
Dear Martha Cook,
You look so pretty! I'm glad you're all dressed up for Christmas now. I really wish we still had William's bust around and could tie a nice silver bow tie around his neck. I'm really excited to sing Silver Bells at Messiah. You're so neat.
Your resident,
Jen
Dear elusive janky smell in my hallway,
Thanks for providing me with continuous moments of entertainment everytime I walk down the hall, especially when I pass Katie and she excitedly alerts me you are there.
With my nose plugged,
Jen
Dear Colony,
I've come to realize the pants I have to wear to work at you are probably the reason no one takes life seriously when they are at you. Who could, with such wonderful pants? I am very excited to wear them to Christmas breakfast on the 14th, preferably with my shirt tucked in and the waistband flipped up so as to prominently display the "Colony Swim Club" with crocodiles.
Trap or die,
Jen
Dear legs,
Please get ready for the Turkey Trot. I realize I'm not doing much to help you in this respect, but at least it's supposed to be 50 and sunny on Thanksgiving day. I promise to reward you with all sorts of fattening food if you just let me make it the 6.2 miles.
With all the motivation I can muster,
Jen
Dear NSync,
Thanks for producing such a baller Christmas album. I let myself listen to a little bit after decorating to get myself even more in the spirit.
Your fan,
Jen
Dear friends that are far away,
I miss you but I will get to see you so soon so I am really excited!
Love,
Jen