Strange Mood
I left our apartment a few hours early--before work--to come here to the river and do some laundry and get a few odds and ends in order. I left greg to his computer game (Star Wars Galaxies or something).
When i got out here, i made some coffee, put the laundry in the dryer, sorted thru the mail (Alan's first name is HUBERT, everyone) and considered sitting outside in the sun but decided against it because i'm not feeling very sunny today.
It's nothing i can put my finger on, really, this mood. I'm not depressed or suffering from existential angst or feeling hollow or lethargic. I'm neither happy nor sad, lonely nor social, content nor discontent. I guess i'm in a 'nor' mood.
For a while, I sat in the living room overlooking the water, and it's a tempestuous day out there on the river--whitecaps and choppy waves and the sun keeps going in and out of the clouds so that the color of the water is never settled. The wind hits the trees, drives them sideways, then disappears like a kitten on the attack. There are clouds, big fluffy white clouds mixed in with wispy dirty clouds, and they shoot across the sky more like rockets than clouds.
I cleaned up the collateral damage of our romantic dinner the other night--the various pots and spoons and bowls and knives. While i was replacing the silver candlestick holders, which live in baggies in the one cabinet in this place that DOESN'T contain alcohol, i took a look at an item greg and i discovered the other night: a Nazi dagger. That's right, boys and girls, mixed in with the relics of the ancient world Curtis has acquired in her various travels, there's a Nazi dagger, sheathed, decorated with an eagle and swastika. Very scary stuff.
I didn't fully get to complete the entry last night about my redneck roots--greg wanted to go to bed so i finished the paragraph i was on. I do want to clarify something: my family's got that whole ambivalent racism thing going on. I wouldn't call them racist, exactly, in that they do try to respect others (and after years and years of my tut-tutting over the occasional racist slur or poorly-chosen joke, they've gotten MORE aware) but at the same time my grandfather DOES use the 'n' word a bit too often. He apparently feels it's ok for him to do so, as if he's got street cred or something, having grown up with several poor black families and... whatever. It grates on my nerves.
Sun's out again. Oh, back in. Now out again. God. The Sun's in an Anne Heche mood today, i think.
Later!
M
When i got out here, i made some coffee, put the laundry in the dryer, sorted thru the mail (Alan's first name is HUBERT, everyone) and considered sitting outside in the sun but decided against it because i'm not feeling very sunny today.
It's nothing i can put my finger on, really, this mood. I'm not depressed or suffering from existential angst or feeling hollow or lethargic. I'm neither happy nor sad, lonely nor social, content nor discontent. I guess i'm in a 'nor' mood.
For a while, I sat in the living room overlooking the water, and it's a tempestuous day out there on the river--whitecaps and choppy waves and the sun keeps going in and out of the clouds so that the color of the water is never settled. The wind hits the trees, drives them sideways, then disappears like a kitten on the attack. There are clouds, big fluffy white clouds mixed in with wispy dirty clouds, and they shoot across the sky more like rockets than clouds.
I cleaned up the collateral damage of our romantic dinner the other night--the various pots and spoons and bowls and knives. While i was replacing the silver candlestick holders, which live in baggies in the one cabinet in this place that DOESN'T contain alcohol, i took a look at an item greg and i discovered the other night: a Nazi dagger. That's right, boys and girls, mixed in with the relics of the ancient world Curtis has acquired in her various travels, there's a Nazi dagger, sheathed, decorated with an eagle and swastika. Very scary stuff.
I didn't fully get to complete the entry last night about my redneck roots--greg wanted to go to bed so i finished the paragraph i was on. I do want to clarify something: my family's got that whole ambivalent racism thing going on. I wouldn't call them racist, exactly, in that they do try to respect others (and after years and years of my tut-tutting over the occasional racist slur or poorly-chosen joke, they've gotten MORE aware) but at the same time my grandfather DOES use the 'n' word a bit too often. He apparently feels it's ok for him to do so, as if he's got street cred or something, having grown up with several poor black families and... whatever. It grates on my nerves.
Sun's out again. Oh, back in. Now out again. God. The Sun's in an Anne Heche mood today, i think.
Later!
M