(no subject)
why is it everytime i find something good its taken away?
after the whole willie thing i didnt hang out with anyone. until christain came around again. he told me not to fall in love with him and at first that was easy. he was the coolest person to hang out with. when i did fall for him he supposedly loved me too and i was the happiest ive been in a long, long time. then i get pregnant. suddenly he didnt love me...he was confused. he told me yesterday that he was in love with joy.(the girl he had been fucking the whole time). and while my baby was "too much resposibility", he loves joys kids and he would choose all of them over me and my baby any day. im never going to fall in love again. so now i have to go through the whole pregnancy by myself. he says he will be there for the baby but i honestly dont believe him. to make things worse my dad kicked me out and now him and my mom are fighting because of me. thankfully donnie and i are getting an apartment monday. its good to know that some friends wont turn their back on you but i still feel so alone. this should be the happiest moment of my life and instead i just regret it. i wish i could die. i just cant wait to have my baby so that i can actually love something again. i think the worst thing about it all is the fact that this man broke my heart when i was vunerable anyway and now im connected to him for the rest of my life.
i need a kind word. maybe two.
after the whole willie thing i didnt hang out with anyone. until christain came around again. he told me not to fall in love with him and at first that was easy. he was the coolest person to hang out with. when i did fall for him he supposedly loved me too and i was the happiest ive been in a long, long time. then i get pregnant. suddenly he didnt love me...he was confused. he told me yesterday that he was in love with joy.(the girl he had been fucking the whole time). and while my baby was "too much resposibility", he loves joys kids and he would choose all of them over me and my baby any day. im never going to fall in love again. so now i have to go through the whole pregnancy by myself. he says he will be there for the baby but i honestly dont believe him. to make things worse my dad kicked me out and now him and my mom are fighting because of me. thankfully donnie and i are getting an apartment monday. its good to know that some friends wont turn their back on you but i still feel so alone. this should be the happiest moment of my life and instead i just regret it. i wish i could die. i just cant wait to have my baby so that i can actually love something again. i think the worst thing about it all is the fact that this man broke my heart when i was vunerable anyway and now im connected to him for the rest of my life.
i need a kind word. maybe two.