(no subject)
"Being the beloved hurts the most because it means being known and knowing the other's complexes in their depth. There are inevitable moments of "evil fate" since the intimate one opens the deepest wounds, and lovers, thus, become enemies. And they are also beloved enemies, since the woundings create separations across which fresh passions leap. Often, when we are meant to develop psychologically, we find ourselves choosing an intimate who will rub our noses in our worst complexes just for that purpose.
Perhaps, indeed, we only bother to hurt when we hold the other as dear as the necessity of speaking our own truth-- when there is a genuine (sometimes feared) equality. In situations of intimacy where there is no felt equality, it is extremely difficult to speak with the objective vision of the dark goddess, for speaking objectively then threatens our view of loving based on child needs for parental comfort and security. ...So, too often, we pussyfoot around, cringe and protect ourselves and the other when she or he seems too weak to bear the facts without terrible retalliation."
Perhaps, indeed, we only bother to hurt when we hold the other as dear as the necessity of speaking our own truth-- when there is a genuine (sometimes feared) equality. In situations of intimacy where there is no felt equality, it is extremely difficult to speak with the objective vision of the dark goddess, for speaking objectively then threatens our view of loving based on child needs for parental comfort and security. ...So, too often, we pussyfoot around, cringe and protect ourselves and the other when she or he seems too weak to bear the facts without terrible retalliation."