I'm in school to early...
For once i am in time, well more because i had to throw up this morning, which made me go out of bed at 6:45 anyways. Turns out my classes will only start at noon, and i am contemplating just going home, because i don't feel like sitting here the rest of the day. It's been a long time since i have written anything here, and each time i write i promise you lot more updates soon. But they never happen unless i have time like this, time that in actually void, cause from now till 12 there is nothing i can do, nothing i feel like doing.
I spend my time scrounging VF, looking around for fun things and finding out those fun things actually only make me feel bad about myself. I went to a party saturday, goth/ebm/industrial whatever party. The type of music i listen to, however you feel like catagorising it. (not sure if that is even a word) turns out it has been there for a long time, only 10 minutes from my place, slightly smaller than a Cyberia. But all in all still mucho fun, especially as it is run by volunteers. http://www.obscura.net/main.php?id=900 Thats where you can find some info...not that it is anywhere near done though.
The party was great, hanging out with some friends, though they are not much of dancers, more lookers, i appreciate that to. Some beer into me and i start dancing anyways. (yeah beer, the didn't serve anything stronger). Music was great, atmosphere was great, and the views were great to ^^
I saw him again, at that party, my ex bf's little brother. Fuck. I thought i saw him at the beginning of the evening, and it turned out i did, later that night i talked to him, only slightly, but i couldn't keep my eyes off him, i really couldn't. It's weird, why i have a crush on such an unreachable person, it made my night great, seeing him, being able to eye him without him knowing, seeing how he dances, how he smiles, and those eyes like a stray kitten wanting to be picked up and brought home. I'm such a fucked up person, i really am. It made the aftermath of the party subdued though, as if muffeled, light was pale, sound was soft (it was 3 am and i was there at 9pm, so my ears were well beaten...that might explain the sound :) ) I walked home alone, fell asleep on the couch. I felt sad, accomplished but sad.
What brings me to write this now instead of the sunday after is that while skipping through VF i found a guy that was there also, a guy from my town, gay, cute, ofcourse i am not his type at all, but that matters little, fun to look at. I skipped through his pics and there he was again. in a picture, somewhere in the background, with that smile, as if he was looking right at me (gah, i am making things up here)
Thing is, i am way to shy to approach someone in the real world. I also play WoW (though my addiction is thinning down) and he is on the same server, and we tend to quest together quite a lot. Silly me i almost find that contact more enjoyable than irl contact, since i can speak easier, am more bold, because it is not real, it's just a game. If only life was as simple as /flirt /hug /kiss /moan
Either way the party revived my taste for electro, been playing a lot of it lately, and since the folks are gone, due back next week thursday. I can play my music out loud and everywhere in the house, which is kinda nice. 10 Am and the place is starting to fill up here, glad i reserved a computer while sitting here.
I think about restyling my LJ back to the neonflashy style i had a while back. Not that it matters, but it is nice :) Guess what...i did it...heh...took me a while to figure this stuff out again...not that i changed much from the original theme..ah well, it's just a journal.
I spend my time scrounging VF, looking around for fun things and finding out those fun things actually only make me feel bad about myself. I went to a party saturday, goth/ebm/industrial whatever party. The type of music i listen to, however you feel like catagorising it. (not sure if that is even a word) turns out it has been there for a long time, only 10 minutes from my place, slightly smaller than a Cyberia. But all in all still mucho fun, especially as it is run by volunteers. http://www.obscura.net/main.php?id=900 Thats where you can find some info...not that it is anywhere near done though.
The party was great, hanging out with some friends, though they are not much of dancers, more lookers, i appreciate that to. Some beer into me and i start dancing anyways. (yeah beer, the didn't serve anything stronger). Music was great, atmosphere was great, and the views were great to ^^
I saw him again, at that party, my ex bf's little brother. Fuck. I thought i saw him at the beginning of the evening, and it turned out i did, later that night i talked to him, only slightly, but i couldn't keep my eyes off him, i really couldn't. It's weird, why i have a crush on such an unreachable person, it made my night great, seeing him, being able to eye him without him knowing, seeing how he dances, how he smiles, and those eyes like a stray kitten wanting to be picked up and brought home. I'm such a fucked up person, i really am. It made the aftermath of the party subdued though, as if muffeled, light was pale, sound was soft (it was 3 am and i was there at 9pm, so my ears were well beaten...that might explain the sound :) ) I walked home alone, fell asleep on the couch. I felt sad, accomplished but sad.
What brings me to write this now instead of the sunday after is that while skipping through VF i found a guy that was there also, a guy from my town, gay, cute, ofcourse i am not his type at all, but that matters little, fun to look at. I skipped through his pics and there he was again. in a picture, somewhere in the background, with that smile, as if he was looking right at me (gah, i am making things up here)
Thing is, i am way to shy to approach someone in the real world. I also play WoW (though my addiction is thinning down) and he is on the same server, and we tend to quest together quite a lot. Silly me i almost find that contact more enjoyable than irl contact, since i can speak easier, am more bold, because it is not real, it's just a game. If only life was as simple as /flirt /hug /kiss /moan
Either way the party revived my taste for electro, been playing a lot of it lately, and since the folks are gone, due back next week thursday. I can play my music out loud and everywhere in the house, which is kinda nice. 10 Am and the place is starting to fill up here, glad i reserved a computer while sitting here.
I think about restyling my LJ back to the neonflashy style i had a while back. Not that it matters, but it is nice :) Guess what...i did it...heh...took me a while to figure this stuff out again...not that i changed much from the original theme..ah well, it's just a journal.