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Re: On the subject of HomonculitremereunlivingMarch 14 2004, 22:34:11 UTC
Dear reader,
Homunculi require no food if kept properly. It's entirely dangerous to have them discover the pleasures of taste that foods bring. Well trained Homunculi are ritually warded from the pantries of chantries and never make pests of themselves. I'm reminded of an incident from the chantry in Los Angeles. Lucius McCarthy, a promising regent kept a ravenous little minion named Callista. He had chopped off his manhood in a grand gesture, proclaiming his newfound femininity and given life to it as his "special girl" (Yes, it is ok to love our Homunculi). For months, many elders tolerated Lucia's eccentricities, but within the chantry neonate and ancillae alike were becoming increasingly disturbed. Callista had been pampered to levels unheard of, even by Ventrue and their childer. Lucia's ghoul would be sent out at all hours to bring special foods to cater to the ravenous demands of the little monster. Alas, the defecation around the chantry began to deteriorate the emotional well being of the others living there. At times, Callista would spend hours playing elaborate games with the food. One morning, this led to near tragic results. a visiting Toreador luminary had been granted safe haven from his enemies in the chantry. Callista had spent all night laying row upon row of noodles down the marble staircase. The Toreador stole down the stair for a visit to one of the lovely herb gardens. If not for the piercing shriek, he would have surely perished. He was found staked through the heart on an antique Cupid statue that accented the bottom of the staircase. When he came to, he was incensed at the embarrassment wrought onto him by the regent's carelessness. He demanded the life of the vermin that had sent him sliding into a grisly near-demise. Callista was brought forward. As he raised the sword upon her, she begged in a strange fit of dramatics and the Toreador swooned. Even her mistress was surprised as she was unaware of the Homunculi's taste for daytime TV melodramas. As payment, the Toreador took her with him as a pet, but not before a ward was placed on her, where food would never pass those lips again. Strangely enough, her mistress wrote a few years ago. Almost 25 years after the fact, she was enjoying an evening alone with her new Homunculi when her old one's face appeared on the TV. It could not be! Hastily, she rang the Toreador. He had spent the past two decades sinking many a dollar and favor into the services of a Tzimisce. The Homunculi now appears on a popular television comedy in the guise of an attractive young woman with a disturbingly slender frame. Other Homunculi have not been so lucky. Please refer to the Homunculi Keeper's Manual for the Ward Vs. Food and this should do us all a world of good.
Homunculi require no food if kept properly. It's entirely dangerous to have them discover the pleasures of taste that foods bring. Well trained Homunculi are ritually warded from the pantries of chantries and never make pests of themselves.
I'm reminded of an incident from the chantry in Los Angeles. Lucius McCarthy, a promising regent kept a ravenous little minion named Callista. He had chopped off his manhood in a grand gesture, proclaiming his newfound femininity and given life to it as his "special girl" (Yes, it is ok to love our Homunculi). For months, many elders tolerated Lucia's eccentricities, but within the chantry neonate and ancillae alike were becoming increasingly disturbed. Callista had been pampered to levels unheard of, even by Ventrue and their childer. Lucia's ghoul would be sent out at all hours to bring special foods to cater to the ravenous demands of the little monster. Alas, the defecation around the chantry began to deteriorate the emotional well being of the others living there. At times, Callista would spend hours playing elaborate games with the food. One morning, this led to near tragic results. a visiting Toreador luminary had been granted safe haven from his enemies in the chantry. Callista had spent all night laying row upon row of noodles down the marble staircase. The Toreador stole down the stair for a visit to one of the lovely herb gardens. If not for the piercing shriek, he would have surely perished. He was found staked through the heart on an antique Cupid statue that accented the bottom of the staircase.
When he came to, he was incensed at the embarrassment wrought onto him by the regent's carelessness. He demanded the life of the vermin that had sent him sliding into a grisly near-demise. Callista was brought forward. As he raised the sword upon her, she begged in a strange fit of dramatics and the Toreador swooned. Even her mistress was surprised as she was unaware of the Homunculi's taste for daytime TV melodramas. As payment, the Toreador took her with him as a pet, but not before a ward was placed on her, where food would never pass those lips again.
Strangely enough, her mistress wrote a few years ago. Almost 25 years after the fact, she was enjoying an evening alone with her new Homunculi when her old one's face appeared on the TV. It could not be! Hastily, she rang the Toreador. He had spent the past two decades sinking many a dollar and favor into the services of a Tzimisce. The Homunculi now appears on a popular television comedy in the guise of an attractive young woman with a disturbingly slender frame.
Other Homunculi have not been so lucky. Please refer to the Homunculi Keeper's Manual for the Ward Vs. Food and this should do us all a world of good.
-T
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