yep
I know this sounds kinda stupid, but I assess every relationship (or near miss, or whatever) to look for my contributions to that relationship's failure.
And then I try to work on whatever my issues are, so that I can evolve, and not repeat mistakes.
And, I've made a lot of mistakes.
(and this is the stupid part) I don't really believe in Fate, but I feel like every relationship has been preparing me, in a way, for the One. (you can laugh at the idea of the One, but I've had this happen five times, so far - I can't explain the feeling, but when you meet her, you just instantly know , and it's ridiculously obvious that she does, too. Shannon, Alexandria, Delilah, Carey, and Laura. 5 lightning bolts in 16 years. Is there any probability of being struck just one more time?) So that I'll be ready for her.
So that I won't have all this stupid, fucked up shit inside, so that I can be happy. So that I can make her happy.
And it's been hard - I've had to face a lot of uncomfortable things about myself... but I've grown.
So, I'm usually the first to point out my own mistakes. But I've gone back over everything, and this time... I didn't do anything wrong. I really, really didn't.
And then I try to work on whatever my issues are, so that I can evolve, and not repeat mistakes.
And, I've made a lot of mistakes.
(and this is the stupid part) I don't really believe in Fate, but I feel like every relationship has been preparing me, in a way, for the One. (you can laugh at the idea of the One, but I've had this happen five times, so far - I can't explain the feeling, but when you meet her, you just instantly know , and it's ridiculously obvious that she does, too. Shannon, Alexandria, Delilah, Carey, and Laura. 5 lightning bolts in 16 years. Is there any probability of being struck just one more time?) So that I'll be ready for her.
So that I won't have all this stupid, fucked up shit inside, so that I can be happy. So that I can make her happy.
And it's been hard - I've had to face a lot of uncomfortable things about myself... but I've grown.
So, I'm usually the first to point out my own mistakes. But I've gone back over everything, and this time... I didn't do anything wrong. I really, really didn't.