(no subject)
As an animal, humans are fucked up aberrations. We kill ourselves. I don't mean like, slit your writsts blow your head off, but that's in there too. I mean we kill ourselves by actively starving our own natures. We stress and worry and cower away from the natural world. We try to coccoon outselves in synthetics and antisceptics. We steralize our worlds and yet somehow, it's the sterile that're the most unclean. People capable of playing with lives like numbers or quotas. The ones who press the button and watch the dust clouds on their little gray screens. I don't know what to make of our species.
Intimacy though... intimacy is also broken in our kind. Maybe it's the mixed blessing and curse of our extended self awareness, but we fixate and obsess over ghosts and spectres of emotions and intimacies. A single person can drive their entire world into a shit-trap with a single cresting thought of self doubt. emotional couplings are fraught with judgements both within and without the pairing. or hell, the tripling. however many people get involved we can almost certainly ruin it with fears and indecisions and doubts. As a species we are almost universally mad creatures. I bet a seagull never had an existential crisis.
That's the joke, come to think of it. You look at humor and there's all these examples of animals sitting around going "what is it all FOR? why are we HERE?" then some frog sitting next to some other frog goes "Dude we're frogs. we're here to eat dragonflies." as if every problem in life were that simple. The artist thinks he's cute, but it's really all about envy. or maybe disdain, sometimes they're very close neighbors.
There is no real simple answer for us. Somehow humanity has built itself the ultimate utopia of self constructed environments. I don't mean cities or towns or slums or subway stations. We constructed out own minds, and we're forced to live in the strange and alien stratas that have risen up from this act. It's biblical, we are responsible for our own conciousness, our awareness. We constructed our minds and our rules and now we try to justify our aberrations as unknown outside factors. Our demons are all actually our own.
Sometimes I love this world we've made for ourselves. I like the dark pockets and the filthy whorls of taboo we find so dark and fascinating. I like derelict parts of the human soul, and am fascinated by hatred and violence and sin. I encourage it. I like seeing people think, and people dip their fingers into the icy wonderment of the unknown and the strange. I guess it's like I'm drowning and trying to pull people under with me.
But sometimes... sometimes I don't like the animal we are. or the one we aren't, I'm not sure. I can't justify humans as natural beasts. We're more abberant than cows. We took ourselves out of the Order and enforced our own set of rules on eachother. We never really changed the world, we just changed ourselves and put up walls. The fascinating beauties of the human soul, the capacity for art and literature and love and compassion. the amazing sense of STYLE. I was watching a thing today and I saw all these middle eastern people marching down the street with guns, a militia in some country I couldn't hope to name. They were armed, and ready for war. Walking the corners in a way I haven't seen in my country. it's a part of their world I have no empathy for. Sympathy maybe. But all I could think looking at these men, marching their lines, was that their outfits were cool. They were dressed head to toe in white, and they had headgarbs that covered everything but the eyes. Jihad ninja moslems maybe. I don't even know, but it wasn't important. I just thought they looked cool.
And somewhere, they're shooting at someone. Maybe someone that shot them first. Someone who's not as sterile, maybe, but who works for a sterile man somewhere else.
Clean god, clean allah. YHWH. IHVH. HIM.
Answers we don't have. aspirations we've concocted through centuries of building this conciousness. The Human Condition.
I think I understand what's meant by "The Meek Shall Inherit The Earth."
I wonder if they'll lose their extended sense of self...
Intimacy though... intimacy is also broken in our kind. Maybe it's the mixed blessing and curse of our extended self awareness, but we fixate and obsess over ghosts and spectres of emotions and intimacies. A single person can drive their entire world into a shit-trap with a single cresting thought of self doubt. emotional couplings are fraught with judgements both within and without the pairing. or hell, the tripling. however many people get involved we can almost certainly ruin it with fears and indecisions and doubts. As a species we are almost universally mad creatures. I bet a seagull never had an existential crisis.
That's the joke, come to think of it. You look at humor and there's all these examples of animals sitting around going "what is it all FOR? why are we HERE?" then some frog sitting next to some other frog goes "Dude we're frogs. we're here to eat dragonflies." as if every problem in life were that simple. The artist thinks he's cute, but it's really all about envy. or maybe disdain, sometimes they're very close neighbors.
There is no real simple answer for us. Somehow humanity has built itself the ultimate utopia of self constructed environments. I don't mean cities or towns or slums or subway stations. We constructed out own minds, and we're forced to live in the strange and alien stratas that have risen up from this act. It's biblical, we are responsible for our own conciousness, our awareness. We constructed our minds and our rules and now we try to justify our aberrations as unknown outside factors. Our demons are all actually our own.
Sometimes I love this world we've made for ourselves. I like the dark pockets and the filthy whorls of taboo we find so dark and fascinating. I like derelict parts of the human soul, and am fascinated by hatred and violence and sin. I encourage it. I like seeing people think, and people dip their fingers into the icy wonderment of the unknown and the strange. I guess it's like I'm drowning and trying to pull people under with me.
But sometimes... sometimes I don't like the animal we are. or the one we aren't, I'm not sure. I can't justify humans as natural beasts. We're more abberant than cows. We took ourselves out of the Order and enforced our own set of rules on eachother. We never really changed the world, we just changed ourselves and put up walls. The fascinating beauties of the human soul, the capacity for art and literature and love and compassion. the amazing sense of STYLE. I was watching a thing today and I saw all these middle eastern people marching down the street with guns, a militia in some country I couldn't hope to name. They were armed, and ready for war. Walking the corners in a way I haven't seen in my country. it's a part of their world I have no empathy for. Sympathy maybe. But all I could think looking at these men, marching their lines, was that their outfits were cool. They were dressed head to toe in white, and they had headgarbs that covered everything but the eyes. Jihad ninja moslems maybe. I don't even know, but it wasn't important. I just thought they looked cool.
And somewhere, they're shooting at someone. Maybe someone that shot them first. Someone who's not as sterile, maybe, but who works for a sterile man somewhere else.
Clean god, clean allah. YHWH. IHVH. HIM.
Answers we don't have. aspirations we've concocted through centuries of building this conciousness. The Human Condition.
I think I understand what's meant by "The Meek Shall Inherit The Earth."
I wonder if they'll lose their extended sense of self...