I needed to come home
This was a much needed trip. It's been a while since I been back home to Atlanta. Everything has chanced, even if it's just my point of view of the similar things. The neigborhood is becoming more racially diverse. Slowly but surely. It sucked growing up brown in an all black neighborhood. I could gripe about that all day but it is what it is. I been wanting to move out of this place but ehh. Not everyone is financially wealthy. My family sure isn't. I could be angry at that situation all day long too, but ehh. It is what it is. What trully angers me is the relationship between my family and I.
My pops, my mom, and I. The love between the three of us is there. There is no doubt that we all love each other. The love is there but the relationship isn't. I raised myself. I have always been a Latch-key kid. That says a lot about me. No matter, it makes you grow up faster.
They both worked two jobs, sometimes three to keep the bills paid and food on the fridge. I rarely saw them - about an hour or two a week. That didn't bother me at all. I always like being independent. The situation however didn't build a relationship with my mom. I'm not worried about pops, his a man. Now that my mom is near retirement, she thinks that we could just build a relationship. I wish it could be that easy.
I'm in my mid twenties now. That's twenty some odd years of loving me as your child but never being there. The scenario has now flipped. Your home, I'm not. Were not even on the same state now. I've always wanted to leave this hell-hole. Returning back just wakes up the memories of absences. I'm sorry mama but I can't come home for more than a couple of days. I been counting the days when I go back to Boulder. This two weeks is physically making me sick. Being in this place makes me physically sick.
Ya'll are getting old. The time is almost here for ya'll to retire. I won't put you in a home. I will take care of you when the time comes but I won't come back until then. You taught me to be independent by not being there when I was a child. As a result of that, I became a wonderer. I can't/won't change my mindset just because ya'll now have time.
Until I become wealthy due to luck, I won't be back here again. I know I won't get rich being a wonderer (i'm banking on the lottery that I don't play) but I won't stop being an adventurer.
-a piece of trekkanacious