Here we go.
Has it been a year already?
It certainly has been interesting.
I won't review the year for the sake of repetition... I think my past entries have clearly shown at least how the first half went. The second half of the year was quite different. I worked as a waiter over the summer with Ryan. It was good to reconnect with him. I reconnected with all of my friends from home after the real ending to Rylie and I. Ali visited a lot and I made some trips to Middleton to see her when I could. I even finally went to Water Country after years of living so close when I was younger. I made quite a bit of money and bought a new car to replace the Subaru that had caused me so much grief earlier in the year.
I got back to school and got as busy as I could immediately. I stopped being close to a lot of people. Tyler and Ali remained just as close as last year, but I started to fade out from my normal crowds. I don't really have any sort of explanation for this.
I did however reconnect with my Boston friends and made a bunch of new ones. This inspired me to start my agency. It's very small scaled right now, but this year is all about setting up the infrastructure. So far so good.
I came to a realization last night, only hours after we slipped into '09. For a good portion of my life I've wondered if I was to be the hero or the villain in the story of my life. This past year I was really beginning to think I was becoming the villain. I don't even really believe in good or evil, just judgments and circumstances... I sort of had to start thinking that way this year so I wouldn't hate a number of people in my life. Anyway to get back to my original point, I truly thought I was slowly becoming the villain. I realized last night that that's not quite true. I am the same person I've always been, trying to mostly do good, however, last year broke me. I finally caved. My sense of compassion is fleeting, I am far more self involved, and I'm quite bitter towards almost everything. I'm happier than I've been in a while, but I'm broken. So I'm balanced on exactly where I am: Full of joy and full of hatred. I'd be saying nastier things to the people who've pissed me off if I thought it would get me somewhere. But honestly, I don't have the energy, and for the most part it isn't worth it.
Eventually I'm sure I'll fix myself, but for now it's all about moving forward. I've made a lot of progress and I plan to make a lot more.
2009 is going to be a busy year.
It certainly has been interesting.
I won't review the year for the sake of repetition... I think my past entries have clearly shown at least how the first half went. The second half of the year was quite different. I worked as a waiter over the summer with Ryan. It was good to reconnect with him. I reconnected with all of my friends from home after the real ending to Rylie and I. Ali visited a lot and I made some trips to Middleton to see her when I could. I even finally went to Water Country after years of living so close when I was younger. I made quite a bit of money and bought a new car to replace the Subaru that had caused me so much grief earlier in the year.
I got back to school and got as busy as I could immediately. I stopped being close to a lot of people. Tyler and Ali remained just as close as last year, but I started to fade out from my normal crowds. I don't really have any sort of explanation for this.
I did however reconnect with my Boston friends and made a bunch of new ones. This inspired me to start my agency. It's very small scaled right now, but this year is all about setting up the infrastructure. So far so good.
I came to a realization last night, only hours after we slipped into '09. For a good portion of my life I've wondered if I was to be the hero or the villain in the story of my life. This past year I was really beginning to think I was becoming the villain. I don't even really believe in good or evil, just judgments and circumstances... I sort of had to start thinking that way this year so I wouldn't hate a number of people in my life. Anyway to get back to my original point, I truly thought I was slowly becoming the villain. I realized last night that that's not quite true. I am the same person I've always been, trying to mostly do good, however, last year broke me. I finally caved. My sense of compassion is fleeting, I am far more self involved, and I'm quite bitter towards almost everything. I'm happier than I've been in a while, but I'm broken. So I'm balanced on exactly where I am: Full of joy and full of hatred. I'd be saying nastier things to the people who've pissed me off if I thought it would get me somewhere. But honestly, I don't have the energy, and for the most part it isn't worth it.
Eventually I'm sure I'll fix myself, but for now it's all about moving forward. I've made a lot of progress and I plan to make a lot more.
2009 is going to be a busy year.