Hard to admit
I've been brewing up some big time depression and spending a lot of time hiding in bed. I just don't feel like hanging out or chatting, because it's hard for me to resist acting like it's all good, and later feeling guilty for being inauthentic.
So I'm starting Paxil today. This is a scary step for me. Despite the fact that I've dealt with depression off and on since pre-adolescence, I've never been as honesty and open about it as I'm comitting to being right now. I recognized that I am more than miserable and not functioning. I told LJ and my doctor right away. And today, I told all my closest friends. It was hard to admit (so I did it via text message). I've even told my employer, a lovely mom who shared that she is also on meds.
I am dragging my feet on my way to the pharmacy tho. Finally going on meds feels like admitting defeat.
At any rate, I am comitting to journaling my steps along the way, because I have to believe it will keep me safe(r) to tell my truths than to hide alone and quiet.
Posted via LjBeetle
So I'm starting Paxil today. This is a scary step for me. Despite the fact that I've dealt with depression off and on since pre-adolescence, I've never been as honesty and open about it as I'm comitting to being right now. I recognized that I am more than miserable and not functioning. I told LJ and my doctor right away. And today, I told all my closest friends. It was hard to admit (so I did it via text message). I've even told my employer, a lovely mom who shared that she is also on meds.
I am dragging my feet on my way to the pharmacy tho. Finally going on meds feels like admitting defeat.
At any rate, I am comitting to journaling my steps along the way, because I have to believe it will keep me safe(r) to tell my truths than to hide alone and quiet.
Posted via LjBeetle