..
It's almost impossible to even think how this will work. We live in the same house and we're not even together. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster and I'll never get off. At one point, I thought my life was perfect... but I kept fooling myself. Someone please explain to me why I'm even trying to love someone who doesn't love me back. I know I don't love him the same anymore and I don't think I ever will but I feel like we couldn't have spent all this time together for nothing.
It's such a shame to think that someone was actually meant for me. I must be the worst person in the world to have been with him for this long, have a family together, buy a house together and he doesn't even want me. If it was just me, I'd learn to let go.. but for the sake of the kids, I don't think I can.
In exactly a week from today, it would be our 6yr anniversary. A year from now.. we would have been married. I can't believe that he just threw it all away. I feel like a piece of garbage that just meant nothing to him. It's as if he just spat on me in the middle of the street. I'm trying to be strong and I'm trying to do this on my own.. but I feel like it's almost impossible.