*sighs*
Recently I've been having the point driven home just how pathetic I really am. I think it could be because I'm building Nellas of Doriath's site. Not only am I faced with the task of working with all this art day in and day out, but I'm also forced to realize that I really can't write. I'll always been inferior to just about everyone else out there. I'll never be able to do anything I really want to do in life.
Everything I've ever done has always been mediocre, or worse. I guess it's sort of like having an older sibling who does everything perfectly, wins all the awards, is everyone's friend. People like them, want to help them, want to be around them.
In this case, the entire world is my older sibling, and I'm just the little, worthless one that will never amount to anything, no matter how much she dreams. Dreams don't always come true, even when you wish with all your heart and work with both body and mind.
I've still been giving thought to closing Second Impressions. No one ever visits anymore, and I personally never have anything worth adding to it. I don't think anyone would notice if it vanished overnight.
I don't think anyone would notice this vanishing, either. I honestly don't know why I bother keeping it, since it never gets read because it's never of interest to anyone. Maybe it's because it's the only outlet I have. But it still doesn't change anything. It doesn't change the fact that I work hard to be what I want to be, yet never make any progress. It doesn't change the fact that I'll always be overlooked.
It doesn't change the fact that for some, dreams will never come true.
Everything I've ever done has always been mediocre, or worse. I guess it's sort of like having an older sibling who does everything perfectly, wins all the awards, is everyone's friend. People like them, want to help them, want to be around them.
In this case, the entire world is my older sibling, and I'm just the little, worthless one that will never amount to anything, no matter how much she dreams. Dreams don't always come true, even when you wish with all your heart and work with both body and mind.
I've still been giving thought to closing Second Impressions. No one ever visits anymore, and I personally never have anything worth adding to it. I don't think anyone would notice if it vanished overnight.
I don't think anyone would notice this vanishing, either. I honestly don't know why I bother keeping it, since it never gets read because it's never of interest to anyone. Maybe it's because it's the only outlet I have. But it still doesn't change anything. It doesn't change the fact that I work hard to be what I want to be, yet never make any progress. It doesn't change the fact that I'll always be overlooked.
It doesn't change the fact that for some, dreams will never come true.