dreaming, thinking, wishing, pondering, living.....
greetings to all!
i feeling like writing, and not just the regular bitching, moaning and ranting about stuff that could be better or minor shit that bothers me. just feel like writing.
so the song that im listening to, its so weird it makes me feel the need to dance and sing along. haha. im not saying that its really original or anything, i just like the music and stuff. not so much the words but the way its sung. (if that makes sense) that would be awesome if i was at all musically talented! i mean i think im pretty knowledgeable about music and stuff, not to say that i am a guru or anything like that. but i dont think im clueless about what music i like and where it comes from and such. on the other hand it would of been so awesome if i had gotten to keep my drum set and gotten reasonablly good at it. i mean bass is fun, but i dont know im not into it. it would be great to have a unique voice, not one that everyone like or anything but one that could be remembered and liked by some. ooo dreams dreams hehe.but the way that i think about it is, i may not touch people musically but i can reach them in other ways. maybe this cooking thing will work out for me, wow that would be awesome! and if not maybe once college starts i can find something eles that catches my eye.
its so cool how some peole can grow up and know what they want to do and it just totally works out for them, but then other people have so many different dreams and it takes them forever to decide where to direct their life. i think im like both. there are so many things that i enjoy doing, but i have a general idea of where i want to go in life. i wish we didnt have to make choices like that, i mean some people could spend almost all of their life going to school getting different degrees in anything that catches their eye, but for obvious reasons some people cant do that (money). crazy
almost in college, kinda scary. but all i can do is smile even though its the most terrifing thing to me! i love that! i love growing up!!
speaking of growing up, i can tell that i have done alot of that in the last year, maybe 2005 will be my year! my year to show everyone what christy is really all about!! my first year as a clean person since before 7th grade! haha thats bad. i intend to be clean all year! maybe then i will see things as they really are and not as a blur, the real world. and i think it is important for me to do this because things are going to change big time when i hit 18. i need to get used to the real world and how it works, not just bullshitting it. this feels good to write.
im going to start doing more volenteer work, i feel like i need to do something for everyone eles. i would really like to do something dealing with children. i dont want this to sound sick, but i want to deal with children with cancer. i just feel like i have been through cancer twice, maybe not personally but it was with the person that matters the most to me in life. i want to support these kids and show them that they can get through it but they have to keep their heads up. i think i would have to be at least 18 to do anything like that but yeah that would be awesome!
this is such a long entry and i doubt that many people will get through it all cause i really dont feel like stopping yet, but i love getting feed back and stuff from people so yeah comment away!
sometimes i tell danny that i feel so alone. but im not and i know it. i think its just the fact that i dont talk to my friends all the time or see them pretty much at all. im sorry guys. it hurts me that i did that to yall! maybe this summer we could have like a summer-o-chisty-rama! hahaha! no but i really want to do something with everyone this summer! like its crazy how like people have changed in like 2 months it seems. like its just amazing to me that graci seems completly cut off from everyone, but thats just what i hear. guys dont break up! be happy! love! sing the fannee doolee song it will make everything better! and then i never see hannah, kelly, milagro, kelsie, or anyone! as soon as i get a job im demanding a car and i will see all of you all the time! no matter what! i will vomit in a bag on the way over! haha!
hey well im going to go watch harry potter cause my mom bought it for me. but i have more to write but i will save that for another boring uneventful day! hehe
until later guys.....
i feeling like writing, and not just the regular bitching, moaning and ranting about stuff that could be better or minor shit that bothers me. just feel like writing.
so the song that im listening to, its so weird it makes me feel the need to dance and sing along. haha. im not saying that its really original or anything, i just like the music and stuff. not so much the words but the way its sung. (if that makes sense) that would be awesome if i was at all musically talented! i mean i think im pretty knowledgeable about music and stuff, not to say that i am a guru or anything like that. but i dont think im clueless about what music i like and where it comes from and such. on the other hand it would of been so awesome if i had gotten to keep my drum set and gotten reasonablly good at it. i mean bass is fun, but i dont know im not into it. it would be great to have a unique voice, not one that everyone like or anything but one that could be remembered and liked by some. ooo dreams dreams hehe.but the way that i think about it is, i may not touch people musically but i can reach them in other ways. maybe this cooking thing will work out for me, wow that would be awesome! and if not maybe once college starts i can find something eles that catches my eye.
its so cool how some peole can grow up and know what they want to do and it just totally works out for them, but then other people have so many different dreams and it takes them forever to decide where to direct their life. i think im like both. there are so many things that i enjoy doing, but i have a general idea of where i want to go in life. i wish we didnt have to make choices like that, i mean some people could spend almost all of their life going to school getting different degrees in anything that catches their eye, but for obvious reasons some people cant do that (money). crazy
almost in college, kinda scary. but all i can do is smile even though its the most terrifing thing to me! i love that! i love growing up!!
speaking of growing up, i can tell that i have done alot of that in the last year, maybe 2005 will be my year! my year to show everyone what christy is really all about!! my first year as a clean person since before 7th grade! haha thats bad. i intend to be clean all year! maybe then i will see things as they really are and not as a blur, the real world. and i think it is important for me to do this because things are going to change big time when i hit 18. i need to get used to the real world and how it works, not just bullshitting it. this feels good to write.
im going to start doing more volenteer work, i feel like i need to do something for everyone eles. i would really like to do something dealing with children. i dont want this to sound sick, but i want to deal with children with cancer. i just feel like i have been through cancer twice, maybe not personally but it was with the person that matters the most to me in life. i want to support these kids and show them that they can get through it but they have to keep their heads up. i think i would have to be at least 18 to do anything like that but yeah that would be awesome!
this is such a long entry and i doubt that many people will get through it all cause i really dont feel like stopping yet, but i love getting feed back and stuff from people so yeah comment away!
sometimes i tell danny that i feel so alone. but im not and i know it. i think its just the fact that i dont talk to my friends all the time or see them pretty much at all. im sorry guys. it hurts me that i did that to yall! maybe this summer we could have like a summer-o-chisty-rama! hahaha! no but i really want to do something with everyone this summer! like its crazy how like people have changed in like 2 months it seems. like its just amazing to me that graci seems completly cut off from everyone, but thats just what i hear. guys dont break up! be happy! love! sing the fannee doolee song it will make everything better! and then i never see hannah, kelly, milagro, kelsie, or anyone! as soon as i get a job im demanding a car and i will see all of you all the time! no matter what! i will vomit in a bag on the way over! haha!
hey well im going to go watch harry potter cause my mom bought it for me. but i have more to write but i will save that for another boring uneventful day! hehe
until later guys.....