Let Our Masks Fall Away
Let Our Masks Fall Away
Summary: A rare moment of emotional reflection sends kirk and Spock down the path of rediscovery.
Pairing: K/S
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: angsty fluff, dialogue heavy, established relationship
Disclaimer: This is Paramount’s anthill; I’m just poking it with a stick.
When Jim returned to the quarters he shared with his mate he found the Vulcan sitting on the floor at the foot of their bed meditating. Assuming that Spock did not wish to be disturbed he started towards their bathroom to shower.
“Why do we not make love against the wall or in the shower like we used to?” Spock asked as calmly as if he’d just asked what Jim’s favorite food was. Jim looked at him quizzically. “What happened to us, Jim?” Spock stood, “We hardly make love anymore, and when we do, we do so in the dark. Where did our passion go?” The slightest hint of desperation had found its way into his voice.
Jim’s heart broke at the sound. He walked over to his husband and took his hands in his own, “I still love you, Spock. I still want you. You’re the most desirable being I have ever encountered in my life.” The look in Spock’s eyes pierced Jim’s heart more than his next words, “Prove it.”
Jim sighed and sat on their bed. Spock sat beside him. After an eternity of silence Spock pick up a decorative mask from the side table and held it up to his face.
“He spoiled us,” his muffled voice said.
“Who?” Jim asked without looking up.
“My counterpart,” he said simply.
This time Jim did look up, “How?”
“Every time we had difficulties with each other we would run to him and he would indulge us. We never had to solve our own problems.”
Guilt filled Jim as he looked down at his hands.
“And now he is gone.” Spock continued, still holding the mask up, “It is astonishing how little we truly know about each other after fifteen years. It is time for us to grow up, Jim. Our crutch has been taken away, and if we are going to continue on together we must learn to stand without it.” Spock fell silent.
“Your right,” Jim said sadly after a few moments, “After all this time we hardly know each other.”
Spock’s eyes looked at him intensely from behind the mask, “Perhaps this is a blessing…”
“How?” Jim laughed bitterly, “We fucked up, Spock.”
“Undoubtedly,” was the clam response, “But in fixing it we may find that we will fall in love all over again.”
Jim looked at the concealed face of his bondmate; a tear slipping down his cheek, “I never stopped loving you, Spock…”
Even through the porcelain, Jim could see the Vulcan’s sad smile; his eyes gave him away, “I have never doubted that, nor have I ever stopped loving you.”
For the first time in a long time Jim acts impulsively towards his lover. He leans forward and kisses the lips of the mask. Spock pulls away first. Jim’s hand travels up the length of the arm holding the mask and his hand closes around Spock’s. Together they pull it away and press their bare lips together. It feels like their first kiss all over again, raw emotion pouring forth into an infinite moment. The hands holding the mask let it fall to the floor as they tangle together in a Vulcan kiss. In that instant the sound of breaking porcelain is the most liberating sound in the universe.