did i just update?
anybody ever wonder why i never go up to people? why do i never just sit there waiting for people to come to me and talk to me? it's cuz with the exception of peter, no one has EVER called me in my life. i'm always the one who calls people. no one ever calls me back when they say they will. so i get it. you don't wanna talk to me and i'm just bugging you guys. i'm sorry.
and sitting all alone on the railing at school during lunch and watching all the people walk by, i'm just so fucking jealous of all the shit that they have. i mean... they get to live a real life. they get to have friends, get married, feel love, hate, happiness, sorrrow, and ugh, they get to LIVE. and i don't. i won't have friends, i dont' get to fall in love or get married. i can't do anything. i'm never gonna live a real life. i'm just this dead thing, taking up the food and oxygen, a waste of space. i'm not needed and i'm not wanted. i'm nothing but a parasite that needs everyone and needs them to need him. and you guys.... you don't have to worry about that. the world wants you and the world needs you and you're loved. you don't have to justify your existence. you have a home. you have people who love you and care about you.
me, i have nothing compared to you guys. you have it all. hasn't anyone seen me just look at people and cry for no reason. it's cuz they have something, they have friends and all that shit. they have a future, a purpose, a fucking reason to be here. and i don't. i have nothing. i don't.. wanna be alone anymore. cuz i'm always alone. at narbonne, didn't anyone notice that?
and i'm sorry. i'm just whining and compalining and the problem is that i'm just too fucking dependent.
peace....
and sitting all alone on the railing at school during lunch and watching all the people walk by, i'm just so fucking jealous of all the shit that they have. i mean... they get to live a real life. they get to have friends, get married, feel love, hate, happiness, sorrrow, and ugh, they get to LIVE. and i don't. i won't have friends, i dont' get to fall in love or get married. i can't do anything. i'm never gonna live a real life. i'm just this dead thing, taking up the food and oxygen, a waste of space. i'm not needed and i'm not wanted. i'm nothing but a parasite that needs everyone and needs them to need him. and you guys.... you don't have to worry about that. the world wants you and the world needs you and you're loved. you don't have to justify your existence. you have a home. you have people who love you and care about you.
me, i have nothing compared to you guys. you have it all. hasn't anyone seen me just look at people and cry for no reason. it's cuz they have something, they have friends and all that shit. they have a future, a purpose, a fucking reason to be here. and i don't. i have nothing. i don't.. wanna be alone anymore. cuz i'm always alone. at narbonne, didn't anyone notice that?
and i'm sorry. i'm just whining and compalining and the problem is that i'm just too fucking dependent.
peace....