I almost started crying at lunch.
So, today there are only 3 of us in the shop, including my boss. He decides that he is going to take us out to lunch and it was cool, cuz, hey, free lunch!
Then lunch actually comes around. I end up being trapped in a car with two men discussing how it is fine and dandy that the good ole' US of A detains and tortures prisoners, because 'they aren't good people', we need to protect 'our people', why are we complaining about torturing these people when they chop peoples heads off?! And on and on and on... I almost started crying I was so frustrated with this justification of torture and de-humanizing of people because they have committed the sin of being non-white and/or non-Christian.
The conversation continues in the restaurant, only now it is about how Islam is growing because 'those people' keep having lots of kids. One of the men explains how Islam is growing fast in Dearborn, MI and his church is sending missionaries to convert them to Christianity. Both then exclaim how Muslims will always be a threat because 'they' believe that if one isn't Muslim, one doesn't deserve to live. Dear Mr. Pot, meet Mr. Kettle. Oh, and my boss actually expresses that he thinks Freedom of Religion is a BAD thing!
Finally there is a pause in the insanity surrounding me and I ask a work related question. This successfully deflects the conversation for the rest of the trip. Thank goodness!
I know I could have said something and should have said something, but I also know that in a shop composed of 8 people, I am the only woman and only liberal. And I need this fucking job no matter how much it sucks and no matter how much I hate the people I work with.
I know I will never change these fucknecks' minds. I've listened to their hate for almost 3 years (including daily comments on being pro Prop 8 and Chris Brown jokes for 2 weeks after he beat Rihanna) and it pains me to my soul. I hate myself for not standing up and telling these assholes off, but I also know doing so will just cause me more pain. They blow me off on stupid little work-related things and that hurts, how will I handle being blown off or held in contempt for something I actually truly care about? Who will the boss back - the guys he's known forever (they all used to work together at another company) or the 'help'? If the situation gets bad enough, is the company going to get rid of the highly trained specialists or the office support staff? Three guesses and the first two don't count.
I tried having conversations with my co-workers the first few months I had this job, but quickly learned 'my place' and decided fuck-it. I'm never going to get into conversations about things I care about with them. Most of the time it works because I'm not part of the 'gang' anyways. I can be at my desk, they can be in their work space and even though I can hear every thing they fucking say, I can still not be part of it. Today was different, because I was right in the middle. And I had to choose, do I need the job or do I need my soul?
I chose the job and I think part of me died.
ETA: OMG! I can't believe I forgot the bestet part of the conversation. One started talking about how bad the Hanoi Hilton was with the prisoners being chained to the floor and not being released except to be beaten. He then said, I shit you not, that the Gitmo prisoners were living in the Lap of Luxery! He used those fucking words. After all, they got fed and were put into cages (once again, his word!) instead of being chained up all the time. Shit, sign me up!
Then lunch actually comes around. I end up being trapped in a car with two men discussing how it is fine and dandy that the good ole' US of A detains and tortures prisoners, because 'they aren't good people', we need to protect 'our people', why are we complaining about torturing these people when they chop peoples heads off?! And on and on and on... I almost started crying I was so frustrated with this justification of torture and de-humanizing of people because they have committed the sin of being non-white and/or non-Christian.
The conversation continues in the restaurant, only now it is about how Islam is growing because 'those people' keep having lots of kids. One of the men explains how Islam is growing fast in Dearborn, MI and his church is sending missionaries to convert them to Christianity. Both then exclaim how Muslims will always be a threat because 'they' believe that if one isn't Muslim, one doesn't deserve to live. Dear Mr. Pot, meet Mr. Kettle. Oh, and my boss actually expresses that he thinks Freedom of Religion is a BAD thing!
Finally there is a pause in the insanity surrounding me and I ask a work related question. This successfully deflects the conversation for the rest of the trip. Thank goodness!
I know I could have said something and should have said something, but I also know that in a shop composed of 8 people, I am the only woman and only liberal. And I need this fucking job no matter how much it sucks and no matter how much I hate the people I work with.
I know I will never change these fucknecks' minds. I've listened to their hate for almost 3 years (including daily comments on being pro Prop 8 and Chris Brown jokes for 2 weeks after he beat Rihanna) and it pains me to my soul. I hate myself for not standing up and telling these assholes off, but I also know doing so will just cause me more pain. They blow me off on stupid little work-related things and that hurts, how will I handle being blown off or held in contempt for something I actually truly care about? Who will the boss back - the guys he's known forever (they all used to work together at another company) or the 'help'? If the situation gets bad enough, is the company going to get rid of the highly trained specialists or the office support staff? Three guesses and the first two don't count.
I tried having conversations with my co-workers the first few months I had this job, but quickly learned 'my place' and decided fuck-it. I'm never going to get into conversations about things I care about with them. Most of the time it works because I'm not part of the 'gang' anyways. I can be at my desk, they can be in their work space and even though I can hear every thing they fucking say, I can still not be part of it. Today was different, because I was right in the middle. And I had to choose, do I need the job or do I need my soul?
I chose the job and I think part of me died.
ETA: OMG! I can't believe I forgot the bestet part of the conversation. One started talking about how bad the Hanoi Hilton was with the prisoners being chained to the floor and not being released except to be beaten. He then said, I shit you not, that the Gitmo prisoners were living in the Lap of Luxery! He used those fucking words. After all, they got fed and were put into cages (once again, his word!) instead of being chained up all the time. Shit, sign me up!