Comments | tree_of_jessie: sticks and stones may break my bones but slut shamers exhaust me

tree_of_jessie

sticks and stones may break my bones but slut shamers exhaust me

Feb 04, 2011 00:36

ETA: basically, don't bother reading my post, because this one on racialicious is way better than mine, and touches on the same things. also i suck really hard for not living up to all the intersectionality i talk for not touching on race at all in my post. seriously, i am a sucky asshole. read racialicious always.if you have something to say ( Read more... )

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matthewgoodband February 6 2011, 15:55:50 UTC

So I watched this video (procrastinating studying so hard) and I thought I was going to hate it and be on the other side of this argument but I'm not. I didn't find the video offensive at all mainly because I don't find any of the images to be really shocking or out there. I approve of this song and video much more readily than I approve of something like Rude Boy (which I don't approve of for different reasons). The only scene of the video that is in any way not "mainstream" in my eyes is the like Japanese bondage part and even then, it doesn't shock me. I think they shot the video in such a playful way that it's hard to really take it seriously and be upset about it.

tree_of_jessie February 9 2011, 05:37:23 UTC

is it weird if i say i miss procrastinating studying? haha, i miss university so hard.

oh, you know, i am not uncritical of rihanna (i'm not exactly wild about the rude boy video either, and i hate the video for hard), i just think the critiques in this case are way off the mark and kindof dangerous. i am super interested in hearing anything you'd have to say on rude boy though, if you are willing to share!

matthewgoodband March 1 2011, 19:48:57 UTC

To be honest, I haven't watched the Rude Boy music video in its entirety. It just irks me. I don't know how to really put it into words. I mean, S&M is "wilder" than Rude Boy but it's more fun and campy. I think Rude Boy (and it's been a long time since I've heard it so.. bear with me here) is a little less about kink and a little more about mind games? When it came out, essentially, I thought it was irresponsible for her to release it as a single while everyone is talking about her abuse. I also hate it because it's an awful song. Idk.. I dislike "Love the Way You Lie" more.. I'm not good at expressing myself, especially rn because I'm in a class I don't understand. :(

tree_of_jessie March 1 2011, 21:47:35 UTC

yeah, i think we can probably all agree that 'love the way you lie' should never have happened in the first place, and should really just get sucked into a black hole of some sort.

thank you for the effort, though. i appreciate your trying even though it was tough for you.

tree_of_jessie February 9 2011, 06:00:09 UTC

oh and also i am really interested in your evaluation of japanese rope bondage as non-mainstream. i kindof feel a little like, when you can buy this stuff at the source adult, then maybe japanese bondage is a little more popular than one might originally guess?

matthewgoodband March 1 2011, 19:44:28 UTC

Yeah, I guess it's somewhat popular but I mean I think it's less mainstream in my circles I guess. If I said "Japanese bondage" to anyone I know, they wouldn't know what I was talking about. I also have only ever seen it on 4chan and never on a porn website or anything.

tree_of_jessie March 1 2011, 21:45:01 UTC

your circles sound like they suck. (^_~)

matthewgoodband March 2 2011, 00:14:45 UTC

Yeah, me and my friends just aren't the type of people who talk about sexy stuff. We're pretty restrained. The fact that I said that I had ~sex~ and ~enjoyed it~ in my lj entry today is like totally weird and foreign to me and I thought about it the whole bus ride home. I guess it was just the way I was brought up, you know? You don't talk about that stuff you just understand that it happens.

tree_of_jessie March 2 2011, 00:31:40 UTC

sure, i can kinda get that. it may not be where i am coming from at this point in my life, but i am not a completely ignorant asshole. just about 35%.

but being restrained and not knowing about stuff aren't really the same thing. knowing about stuff doesn't even necessarily mean that you DO it, either. it's not the restrained sexuality i'm surprised by, it's the confessed lack of knowledge. it's interesting to me.

tree_of_jessie March 2 2011, 00:36:32 UTC

by the by, being brought up a certain way doesn't necessarily mean shit. i was brought up in a home where sex did not even exist, except to denigrate queer sexuality or peripherally in (really horrifying, degrading) pornography. i grew out of it. i'm not trying to tell you that you have to (by all means, do with your sexuality what you feel most comfortable), but i worry a little when people make statements like yours about how they were "brought up."

so, i dunno. is where you are at where you are comfortable right now?

matthewgoodband March 2 2011, 02:34:16 UTC

Well I mean I'm not letting how I was brought up control who I am now. Also I guess by "brought up" I mean the environment in which I grew up to be the person I am now. It just wasn't an open one like, say, my boyfriend who can apparently talk about anything because his mom is cool like that. I have to skirt around issues and use euphamisms because I've just never talked about stuff like that before. I'm trying to change it a bit, I guess, just for communication's sake but yeah. I don't really know what I'm trying to say here. :/

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