lesser bells
achievement unlocked: officially allowing myself to call things triggers. for whatever good it does. naming things is important, yes, very important. acknowledging my right to use these words for myself is also important. i am allowed to claim them, yes. (drowning the whispers: other people had it so much worse. you don't deserve this.)
it doesn't stop the shaking or the crying, though. it doesn't stop the wondering why i'm not over things, why they actually seem to be getting worse. memory like a mouthful you chew and chew but can't swallow.
everything is at the surface all the time like a burn like the nerves are on fire why won't it just leach out and dissolve and leave me salty and dry as a beach above the water line at low tide with the waves receding as the sun goes down
nothing but sand
as fast as i can
--
This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth. If you feel inclined, comment there.
it doesn't stop the shaking or the crying, though. it doesn't stop the wondering why i'm not over things, why they actually seem to be getting worse. memory like a mouthful you chew and chew but can't swallow.
everything is at the surface all the time like a burn like the nerves are on fire why won't it just leach out and dissolve and leave me salty and dry as a beach above the water line at low tide with the waves receding as the sun goes down
nothing but sand
as fast as i can
--
This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth. If you feel inclined, comment there.