Worst Day in Recent Times.....
This has been by far the worst day ever. My first love and I have parted ways. Im so crushed right now. I know in my brain that its the right thing for both of us, but my heart tells me I should try again. But how many more times do I have to give in and try again? I cant go back as much as I want to and it fucking kills me. I innitiated the break up, but i didnt think it would be as harsh and heart-breaking as it is. I LOVED THAT GIRL SO FUCKING MUCH!! And in someways still do. I miss her already....I must be retarded! The way she treated me no one should have to deal with in a relationship, but it wasnt all her. I was a prick at points too, but only when I was pushed. Her family doesnt like me and I was sick of being made out to be the bad guy when in all honesty I wasnt. Her sisters and freinds can rejoice if they like to in knowing that their nitpicking and bitching has aiding in the break-up of a couple that truly loved each other but had major mis-communication problems.
1 fucking year! 1 fucking year! This fucking kills me! I cant believe I spent one year with a person and im just going to throw out all those memories. I miss the old times and it has been hours since the breakup. I want so badly to pick up the phone and call her, but I know ill just get sucked back into it and I cant do that to my emotions. My whole mindstate on life has changed for the worse since I began this relationship.
But weve gone through shit that married couples on their 50th wedding anniversary havent already been through already. Everywhere from drugs, cheating, and everything between. I honestly can say Ive never loved someone so much in my life besides my family. I know im only 16 going on 17 but still thats not a bullshit emotion. I Loved that girl. But the constant arguements and make-ups and break-ups I just cant take that.
I wish things could have been different.......
1 fucking year! 1 fucking year! This fucking kills me! I cant believe I spent one year with a person and im just going to throw out all those memories. I miss the old times and it has been hours since the breakup. I want so badly to pick up the phone and call her, but I know ill just get sucked back into it and I cant do that to my emotions. My whole mindstate on life has changed for the worse since I began this relationship.
But weve gone through shit that married couples on their 50th wedding anniversary havent already been through already. Everywhere from drugs, cheating, and everything between. I honestly can say Ive never loved someone so much in my life besides my family. I know im only 16 going on 17 but still thats not a bullshit emotion. I Loved that girl. But the constant arguements and make-ups and break-ups I just cant take that.
I wish things could have been different.......