Africa and Jennifer Knapp
Today I planned on telling my boss that when I go to Africa, I'm not coming back to work there. Guess if that happened or not. If you guessed "not" you were right. Partly because it was unbelieveably busy today (non-stop until 5 minutes after we locked the doors...5 minutes after?!? That's usually the time that I'm walkin' out the door!) and partly because I was unsure and a wee bit nervous how to approach it all. I think because I've let it drag on for so long and have let everyone believe that I'm coming back that I'm feeling a bit deceptive and that's not at all what I wanted to be. Also, partly because my friend applied for my job and so that got around that I was quitting (unofficially of course) but then I denied it - as if I'm going to tell the front desk girl before my manager...gulp - and so now I'm going to look like one, big, fat liar! Well, not fat, but maybe chubby. Definitely chubby. Oi vey. So it's quite a situation seeing as how my manager is not in tomorrow OR Wednesday and I wanted to have this over and done with by today and it's just getting worse and worse with people asking if I'm coming back and I can't say a darn thing! So I think I may go to the Branch Manager and talk to him tomorrow. I hate to go over my manager's head but if he's not there, who in the heck am I supposed to go to?
Anyway, I think I may get an ulcer with all that's going on here: getting my birth certificate, getting my passport, quitting, moving, raising enough $$ to go to Tanzania much less thinking about being a staff leader on the team...sheesh. Whoowee.
Peace, my child. Peace. Lately I've just felt like I'm addicted to sleeping in. Like I have a hang-over type headache when I wake up earlier and I literally feel sick. It's retarded and so frustrating. I wish I would just wake up and spring out of bed. Full of energy and excitement to start my day. Maybe that will change when I do two things: 1) go to bed earlier and 2) start a new job that I am actually passionate about.
As Jennifer Knapp sings,
every morning I
have a chance to rise and
give my all
but every afternoon I find I have only wasted time
in light of your awe
isn't love amazing
I forgot how to speak
knowing you are near and
I am finally free
Man I've just spent the past 1/2 hour going through all my Jenn Knapp albums and I'm just re-blown away by how much her lyrics are so theologically sound and so deep and so "to the heart of the issue" ... amazing! No wonder I liked her so much! Edgy. Very edgy.
alone alone is where i'll be
waiting waiting so patiently
escape this little war raging
one Still Small Voice
come rescue me
why wait why wait
why wait for You to Usher Me Down
many o many o Lord my God
the wonders that i have found
when You usher me down
sacrifice and offering
You do not desire of me
i say here i am You come
as if i ever had to call
why wait why wait
why wait for You to Usher Me Down
many o, many o, Lord, my God
the wonders that i have found
when You usher me down
who could replace You?
none i know of
the Throne is Yours alone
left to stand unshaken
can't be taken back
can't be taken back
why wait, why wait
why wait for You to Usher Me Down
many o, many o, Lord, my God
the wonders that i have found
when You usher me down
Amen.