EPIC SHORT FIC: Some Honey of His Own, Part Three
Title: Some Honey of His Own
Author: JAGNikJen
Words: 2664/8105
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Incident of miscarriage and a somewhat graphic description thereof in part two
Disclaimer: I do not own Robin Hood, Much, Robin, Djaq, et al. I have earned nothing from this endeavor but the joy that comes from the writing and the possibility of a nice comment or two.
Summary: Much finally finds a special someone or two to love.
Notes: There's a little something special for omteddy2006 in there somewhere. Can she find it?
~*~*~
Some Honey of His Own, Part Three
He nodded, and she could tell by the look on his face that he felt her distress, that he could tell something was amiss. But he did not ask.
The first couple of days after she regained consciousness blurred together in a cycle of sleeping, eating, and visiting with Avalee for short periods of time. By the fourth day, she remained awake more than she slept. Finally. Except being around Much and trying not to enjoy his company was difficult. She arose from her bed to sit at the table and direct him as he dyed her cloth. But she refused to get caught up in his stories and conversation.
As the first week turned into the second, she could tell her silence weighed on him. He was not nearly as jovial as he'd been the first few days after she'd woken up. And now she was well enough, but weak. Strength would only come with resumed activity and work, but he would not let her do it. They were going to have to have a talk and soon. She had to get back to work for herself.
On the tenth day as Much poured the last bucket of water into the large pot and then started the fire beneath it, Emma entered the yard at a snail's pace.
“Can we talk?” she asked.
His face lit up. “Yes, of course.”
“Much, it is time for you to go.” She hated herself.
Surprise widened his eyes. “But why?”
“You must return to your friends, to your home, to your purpose. And I must get my life back. It is time I began doing my job again. I am grateful to you for all you have done.”
“I-I thought we were friends, thought we were growing close.”
Sadness filled her and she swallowed the urge to sob. “No, Much, I'm sorry. It cannot be.”
“Please, Emma, I don't understand. I care for you. I care for Avalee. In fact, I think I lo--”
“Don't say it. Just don't.”
“But...”
“Much please. You must go and not come back. I no longer want to see you.” Liar.
The pain on his face broke her heart in two and she turned away so as not to see it. And to fight against her own overwhelming emotions. Dear, sweet, wonderful Much. She hated hurting him, but if he knew what she'd done, what she'd been, he would hate her more. It was better this way. But better for whom?
She hardened her voice and said, “If deliveries are going to continue, then please have someone else bring them.”
Hurt, anger, disbelief, and sadness flashed across his face. She steeled herself against the searing pain of her own heartbreak. He deserved better than a prostitute.
He nodded and turned and walked away, his shoulders slumped.
The days passed slowly. Avalee was cranky and whiny with Much gone. Emma's own hold on her emotions was tenuous at best.
Monday came and so did her delivery. But is was not Much. The young gangly youth with the thin facial hair dropped off her basket.
“Where is Much?” Avalee demanded of him.
Emma didn't have the heart to scold her.
“He had to go to Clun, today,” said the young man.
“Tell Much to come back.”
He just nodded and went on his way.
Emma found a quail in her basket later that afternoon and cried. She knew who was responsible.
The following week, the big unkempt man brought the basket.
“Where's Much?” Avalee asked, unfazed by the man's size or scowling demeanor.
“Much is in Barnsdale,” he growled.
“Tell Much to come back.”
The big man nodded.
When she'd sorted through the goods in the basket, Emma found a couple of fish. She cried again.
The third week, the delivery was made by the young foreign woman.
“Hello, Jack,” said Avalee. She apparently knew this one. “Where is Much?”
“Much is in Locksley today.”
“When is Much coming back?”
“I do not know, Avalee,” the woman said, glancing at Emma. “I think there is a pear in the basket today. Do you like pears?”
Avalee nodded and scampered off in search of the fruit.
“What did he put in the basket this week?” Emma asked.
“A rabbit.”
“But why? I have hurt him. I have made it clear that I cannot care for him.”
“Cannot is not the same as do not,” said the woman. “And whatever the reason behind your decision, I think you give Much far too little credit.”
“It is not that. Much deserves better. I have done things. Despicable things. Things that would hurt him. Things that he would not understand or accept. Things that would make him hate me. I would rather he hate me just because than for the things I've done.
“Much deserves someone cleaner, better, purer...”
With that last word, an understanding dawned in the other woman's eyes.
“I think you give Much too little credit,” she repeated. “Doesn't your God say that love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, and that love never fails?”
Emma nodded.
“Then you are failing Much if you think that whatever has happened will change his feelings for you.”
Emma waited on tenterhooks all week.
The following Monday, Much brought the basket.
Emma burst into tears when she saw him. He almost dropped the basket to the ground in his rush to get to her.
“Emma, what is wrong? Are you feeling ill again? Please, you must tell me what's happened.” She swiped the moisture from her face.
“Much!” Avalee cried happily, running out the door and throwing herself into his arms. “Why did you not come before?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him.
“I'm sorry, honey, I had to go to the other villages,” he said, eyes closed, reveling in Avalee's affection. Emma's heart ached for them both. She had done this, and there was a possibility she could fix it. For both their sakes, she had to try.
“I don't want the other ones to come anymore. I only want you.”
He looked at her solemnly. “Well, I'll see what I can do, but Robin is the leader, and I have to do what he says, just like you have to do what your mum says. Do you understand?”
She sighed. “Maybe if you ask nice and say please.”
Much nodded, offering her a sad smile. “I will do that. Just for you.”
Emma crossed her arms under her bosom and said, “Avalee, Mama wants to talk to Much for a little bit. Can you find your dolly and play quietly?”
“Yes, Mama.” She slid from Much's arms and went in search of her toy.
“Much...I...” Emma swallowed. How did you tell someone the things she had to confess. “Your friend Jack-she is a very good friend.”
She swallowed the smile that threatened at his panicked look.
“We-we are not that close. Djaq is almost like one of the lads, and anyway, her and Will seem to have an understanding.”
“Have I seen Will?”
Much shrugged. “I think he came the first week.”
“Oh.” Emma nodded and took a deep breath. For Much and for Avalee. “Well...I'm sorry, Much. I lied to you.”
His eyes widened, but he didn't speak. Just remained still and waited.
“When I implied that I could not, did not care for you, it was a lie....”
He inhaled and exhaled a few times before asking, “But why? Emma, you're pretty and you're--”
She held up her hand. “Much, please. This is hard enough already. I have done things. Things I am not proud of...at the castle when I delivered the dyed linens.”
He just looked at her expectantly.
“I visited the soldiers. For money.”
His eyes doubled in size, and if she weren't already so afraid of his reaction, she'd think it funny.
He turned away and took a step and then whirled back to face her.
She held her breath.
“Wh-wh-what do you mean?” he asked.
By his tone she knew he'd not made an assumption. God bless him for that. Another reason why he was so easy to love. Not that she loved him. Yet. Well, not completely, anyhow. “Much...you know what I mean.”
“Y-y-you...” He raked a hand through his hair. He'd made the connection.
“I have sex with them for money.” She hung her head in shame. There was no way he would or could or should forgive her. No way he could still care for her after knowing this. But even if he was lost to her for good, she felt a measure of relief in having told him.
“For God sakes, why?”
“For Avalee,” she whispered, not looking up. “For my daughter.”
“It is a sad day in England when a mother must resort to, to, to...”
“Prostitution?”
He nodded. “That. In order to support her family. I hate the sheriff and Gisborne and the soldiers and, and, and...”
“Me?”
He gasped. “You? Of course not. Why would I hate you?”
“Much...I didn't always hate it, at least not until you came along and...”
“What? What are you saying?” He shook his head in confusion, his eyes searching hers for answers.
“I am a woman alone, Much. Sometimes, I would get lonely. There were a couple of soldiers who were..tender. With them I could pretend for just a moment in time that things were good and right.”
“I...well...”
“Now, you must hate me.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I cannot say that it doesn't disturb me, but I can understand...I think.
“Wait. You said Were.”
Emma nodded. “From about the third week of you bringing the basket, when things changed between us, just that little bit, I stopped. I hoped that something might happen between us, and I didn't want to be...tainted anymore.
“And then a couple of weeks ago, I realized I carried a child. A child I could ill afford and most certainly didn't want. I have no idea who the father might have been. And when I took the baby, I realized that I wasn't the woman you thought I was. The woman you deserve.”
He looked everywhere but at her for a long time and her heart sank. He claimed he did not hate her, but if he could not even look at her then he certainly could not love her. Any glimmer of feeling he had for her must surely have been snuffed out by her admissions.
Two Months later
The small cottage was a bower of blooms in preparation for the honeymoon. Marian and Djaq had taken Avalee out and collected several bushel-fulls of flowers and then decorated the cottage. Then the two women had helped Emma and Avalee prepare for the wedding.
Emma cried quietly as they did so. That they'd accepted her and forgiven her for the pain she'd caused Much was hard to believe. Not only was she unworthy of Much, but also of these new friends. But they'd all insisted that they each had something in their pasts of which they were not proud and that no one person was more or less worthy than another of love or friendship.
Robin had taken her aside one day and told her that forgiving oneself and accepting that bad thing was part of living and loving and accepting love. And she so wanted to be loved. Mostly by Much, but also by these other good, honorable people. And Avalee deserved a father, and Emma could think of no finer man in all the world than Much.
And Much, dear sweet innocent Much. He'd come to terms with her past. They'd started over with him bringing her delivery again each week. And they'd talked. And Emma knew that Djaq had been right. Emma had completely underestimated Much and the power of love. But she'd never had love before so she didn't know, didn't realize.
Much rocked back and forth on his heels. He was getting married. Once, not so long ago he thought himself unlovable and unworthy. And now, now he was getting married. He was going to become a husband and a father in one fell swoop. His heart now near to bursting.
Robin stood next to him ready to perform the short ceremony, and the rest of their closest friends surrounded him. The villagers gathered around as well. Happy events were few and far between in Nottinghamshire, and Much couldn't blame them for wanting to share in his happiness.
In fact, he was eager to share his happiness. He had never been so happy. Didn't know a body could be so happy.
A moment later, Robin nudged Much.
Much looked to see Emma and Avalee framed in the doorway and his breath caught. Emma wore a pale yellow gown with her long dark hair down, just they way he liked it, and Avalee stood in a pale purple dress with a crown of purple and white pansies on her head, both had happy smiles on their faces.
His girls, his family...
Avalee scampered to Much and held out her arms. “Much, we are getting married.”
Everyone chuckled and Much swooped her into his arms. “Yes, honey, we are.” He settled her onto his right arm and took Emma's right hand in his left. They turned to face Robin.
Marian and Djaq hurried from the cottage to join the rest of the gang.
Robin looked about and settled his gaze on the bride and groom. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of Much and Emma in holy matrimony.”
Turning to Much, Robin said, “Much, wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?”
“I will,” Much said, squeezing Emma's hand.
“Emma, wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honor, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?”
“I will,” Emma replied with a nod.
“Then by the power vested in me by King Richard, the rightful crown of England, I, Robin, lord of Locksley and earl of Huntingdon, do declare you husband and wife.
“Much, you may kiss your bride.”
Heat crept up his face, but he kissed Avalee on the cheek first and set her down. Then he took Emma in his arms and kissed her sweetly.
The guests and onlookers cheered and clapped.
“Congratulations, my friend,” said Robin, clapping him on the shoulder. Then he gave Emma a small kiss on the cheek. “Welcome to our family, Emma.”
She laughed.
After partaking of the wedding treats, the villagers drifted back to their homes and daily routines, leaving just the gang and Marian. Marian indicated to Robin that it was time to go. The gang gathered up Avalee and took their leave, leaving Much and Emma alone.
“So, my wife.”
“So, my husband.”
“We are alone.”
“And married.”
“Yes.”
Much took Emma's hand and led her to their marriage bed.
~ Fin ~
Author: JAGNikJen
Words: 2664/8105
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Incident of miscarriage and a somewhat graphic description thereof in part two
Disclaimer: I do not own Robin Hood, Much, Robin, Djaq, et al. I have earned nothing from this endeavor but the joy that comes from the writing and the possibility of a nice comment or two.
Summary: Much finally finds a special someone or two to love.
Notes: There's a little something special for omteddy2006 in there somewhere. Can she find it?
~*~*~
Some Honey of His Own, Part Three
He nodded, and she could tell by the look on his face that he felt her distress, that he could tell something was amiss. But he did not ask.
The first couple of days after she regained consciousness blurred together in a cycle of sleeping, eating, and visiting with Avalee for short periods of time. By the fourth day, she remained awake more than she slept. Finally. Except being around Much and trying not to enjoy his company was difficult. She arose from her bed to sit at the table and direct him as he dyed her cloth. But she refused to get caught up in his stories and conversation.
As the first week turned into the second, she could tell her silence weighed on him. He was not nearly as jovial as he'd been the first few days after she'd woken up. And now she was well enough, but weak. Strength would only come with resumed activity and work, but he would not let her do it. They were going to have to have a talk and soon. She had to get back to work for herself.
On the tenth day as Much poured the last bucket of water into the large pot and then started the fire beneath it, Emma entered the yard at a snail's pace.
“Can we talk?” she asked.
His face lit up. “Yes, of course.”
“Much, it is time for you to go.” She hated herself.
Surprise widened his eyes. “But why?”
“You must return to your friends, to your home, to your purpose. And I must get my life back. It is time I began doing my job again. I am grateful to you for all you have done.”
“I-I thought we were friends, thought we were growing close.”
Sadness filled her and she swallowed the urge to sob. “No, Much, I'm sorry. It cannot be.”
“Please, Emma, I don't understand. I care for you. I care for Avalee. In fact, I think I lo--”
“Don't say it. Just don't.”
“But...”
“Much please. You must go and not come back. I no longer want to see you.” Liar.
The pain on his face broke her heart in two and she turned away so as not to see it. And to fight against her own overwhelming emotions. Dear, sweet, wonderful Much. She hated hurting him, but if he knew what she'd done, what she'd been, he would hate her more. It was better this way. But better for whom?
She hardened her voice and said, “If deliveries are going to continue, then please have someone else bring them.”
Hurt, anger, disbelief, and sadness flashed across his face. She steeled herself against the searing pain of her own heartbreak. He deserved better than a prostitute.
He nodded and turned and walked away, his shoulders slumped.
The days passed slowly. Avalee was cranky and whiny with Much gone. Emma's own hold on her emotions was tenuous at best.
Monday came and so did her delivery. But is was not Much. The young gangly youth with the thin facial hair dropped off her basket.
“Where is Much?” Avalee demanded of him.
Emma didn't have the heart to scold her.
“He had to go to Clun, today,” said the young man.
“Tell Much to come back.”
He just nodded and went on his way.
Emma found a quail in her basket later that afternoon and cried. She knew who was responsible.
The following week, the big unkempt man brought the basket.
“Where's Much?” Avalee asked, unfazed by the man's size or scowling demeanor.
“Much is in Barnsdale,” he growled.
“Tell Much to come back.”
The big man nodded.
When she'd sorted through the goods in the basket, Emma found a couple of fish. She cried again.
The third week, the delivery was made by the young foreign woman.
“Hello, Jack,” said Avalee. She apparently knew this one. “Where is Much?”
“Much is in Locksley today.”
“When is Much coming back?”
“I do not know, Avalee,” the woman said, glancing at Emma. “I think there is a pear in the basket today. Do you like pears?”
Avalee nodded and scampered off in search of the fruit.
“What did he put in the basket this week?” Emma asked.
“A rabbit.”
“But why? I have hurt him. I have made it clear that I cannot care for him.”
“Cannot is not the same as do not,” said the woman. “And whatever the reason behind your decision, I think you give Much far too little credit.”
“It is not that. Much deserves better. I have done things. Despicable things. Things that would hurt him. Things that he would not understand or accept. Things that would make him hate me. I would rather he hate me just because than for the things I've done.
“Much deserves someone cleaner, better, purer...”
With that last word, an understanding dawned in the other woman's eyes.
“I think you give Much too little credit,” she repeated. “Doesn't your God say that love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, and that love never fails?”
Emma nodded.
“Then you are failing Much if you think that whatever has happened will change his feelings for you.”
Emma waited on tenterhooks all week.
The following Monday, Much brought the basket.
Emma burst into tears when she saw him. He almost dropped the basket to the ground in his rush to get to her.
“Emma, what is wrong? Are you feeling ill again? Please, you must tell me what's happened.” She swiped the moisture from her face.
“Much!” Avalee cried happily, running out the door and throwing herself into his arms. “Why did you not come before?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him.
“I'm sorry, honey, I had to go to the other villages,” he said, eyes closed, reveling in Avalee's affection. Emma's heart ached for them both. She had done this, and there was a possibility she could fix it. For both their sakes, she had to try.
“I don't want the other ones to come anymore. I only want you.”
He looked at her solemnly. “Well, I'll see what I can do, but Robin is the leader, and I have to do what he says, just like you have to do what your mum says. Do you understand?”
She sighed. “Maybe if you ask nice and say please.”
Much nodded, offering her a sad smile. “I will do that. Just for you.”
Emma crossed her arms under her bosom and said, “Avalee, Mama wants to talk to Much for a little bit. Can you find your dolly and play quietly?”
“Yes, Mama.” She slid from Much's arms and went in search of her toy.
“Much...I...” Emma swallowed. How did you tell someone the things she had to confess. “Your friend Jack-she is a very good friend.”
She swallowed the smile that threatened at his panicked look.
“We-we are not that close. Djaq is almost like one of the lads, and anyway, her and Will seem to have an understanding.”
“Have I seen Will?”
Much shrugged. “I think he came the first week.”
“Oh.” Emma nodded and took a deep breath. For Much and for Avalee. “Well...I'm sorry, Much. I lied to you.”
His eyes widened, but he didn't speak. Just remained still and waited.
“When I implied that I could not, did not care for you, it was a lie....”
He inhaled and exhaled a few times before asking, “But why? Emma, you're pretty and you're--”
She held up her hand. “Much, please. This is hard enough already. I have done things. Things I am not proud of...at the castle when I delivered the dyed linens.”
He just looked at her expectantly.
“I visited the soldiers. For money.”
His eyes doubled in size, and if she weren't already so afraid of his reaction, she'd think it funny.
He turned away and took a step and then whirled back to face her.
She held her breath.
“Wh-wh-what do you mean?” he asked.
By his tone she knew he'd not made an assumption. God bless him for that. Another reason why he was so easy to love. Not that she loved him. Yet. Well, not completely, anyhow. “Much...you know what I mean.”
“Y-y-you...” He raked a hand through his hair. He'd made the connection.
“I have sex with them for money.” She hung her head in shame. There was no way he would or could or should forgive her. No way he could still care for her after knowing this. But even if he was lost to her for good, she felt a measure of relief in having told him.
“For God sakes, why?”
“For Avalee,” she whispered, not looking up. “For my daughter.”
“It is a sad day in England when a mother must resort to, to, to...”
“Prostitution?”
He nodded. “That. In order to support her family. I hate the sheriff and Gisborne and the soldiers and, and, and...”
“Me?”
He gasped. “You? Of course not. Why would I hate you?”
“Much...I didn't always hate it, at least not until you came along and...”
“What? What are you saying?” He shook his head in confusion, his eyes searching hers for answers.
“I am a woman alone, Much. Sometimes, I would get lonely. There were a couple of soldiers who were..tender. With them I could pretend for just a moment in time that things were good and right.”
“I...well...”
“Now, you must hate me.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I cannot say that it doesn't disturb me, but I can understand...I think.
“Wait. You said Were.”
Emma nodded. “From about the third week of you bringing the basket, when things changed between us, just that little bit, I stopped. I hoped that something might happen between us, and I didn't want to be...tainted anymore.
“And then a couple of weeks ago, I realized I carried a child. A child I could ill afford and most certainly didn't want. I have no idea who the father might have been. And when I took the baby, I realized that I wasn't the woman you thought I was. The woman you deserve.”
He looked everywhere but at her for a long time and her heart sank. He claimed he did not hate her, but if he could not even look at her then he certainly could not love her. Any glimmer of feeling he had for her must surely have been snuffed out by her admissions.
Two Months later
The small cottage was a bower of blooms in preparation for the honeymoon. Marian and Djaq had taken Avalee out and collected several bushel-fulls of flowers and then decorated the cottage. Then the two women had helped Emma and Avalee prepare for the wedding.
Emma cried quietly as they did so. That they'd accepted her and forgiven her for the pain she'd caused Much was hard to believe. Not only was she unworthy of Much, but also of these new friends. But they'd all insisted that they each had something in their pasts of which they were not proud and that no one person was more or less worthy than another of love or friendship.
Robin had taken her aside one day and told her that forgiving oneself and accepting that bad thing was part of living and loving and accepting love. And she so wanted to be loved. Mostly by Much, but also by these other good, honorable people. And Avalee deserved a father, and Emma could think of no finer man in all the world than Much.
And Much, dear sweet innocent Much. He'd come to terms with her past. They'd started over with him bringing her delivery again each week. And they'd talked. And Emma knew that Djaq had been right. Emma had completely underestimated Much and the power of love. But she'd never had love before so she didn't know, didn't realize.
Much rocked back and forth on his heels. He was getting married. Once, not so long ago he thought himself unlovable and unworthy. And now, now he was getting married. He was going to become a husband and a father in one fell swoop. His heart now near to bursting.
Robin stood next to him ready to perform the short ceremony, and the rest of their closest friends surrounded him. The villagers gathered around as well. Happy events were few and far between in Nottinghamshire, and Much couldn't blame them for wanting to share in his happiness.
In fact, he was eager to share his happiness. He had never been so happy. Didn't know a body could be so happy.
A moment later, Robin nudged Much.
Much looked to see Emma and Avalee framed in the doorway and his breath caught. Emma wore a pale yellow gown with her long dark hair down, just they way he liked it, and Avalee stood in a pale purple dress with a crown of purple and white pansies on her head, both had happy smiles on their faces.
His girls, his family...
Avalee scampered to Much and held out her arms. “Much, we are getting married.”
Everyone chuckled and Much swooped her into his arms. “Yes, honey, we are.” He settled her onto his right arm and took Emma's right hand in his left. They turned to face Robin.
Marian and Djaq hurried from the cottage to join the rest of the gang.
Robin looked about and settled his gaze on the bride and groom. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of Much and Emma in holy matrimony.”
Turning to Much, Robin said, “Much, wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?”
“I will,” Much said, squeezing Emma's hand.
“Emma, wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honor, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?”
“I will,” Emma replied with a nod.
“Then by the power vested in me by King Richard, the rightful crown of England, I, Robin, lord of Locksley and earl of Huntingdon, do declare you husband and wife.
“Much, you may kiss your bride.”
Heat crept up his face, but he kissed Avalee on the cheek first and set her down. Then he took Emma in his arms and kissed her sweetly.
The guests and onlookers cheered and clapped.
“Congratulations, my friend,” said Robin, clapping him on the shoulder. Then he gave Emma a small kiss on the cheek. “Welcome to our family, Emma.”
She laughed.
After partaking of the wedding treats, the villagers drifted back to their homes and daily routines, leaving just the gang and Marian. Marian indicated to Robin that it was time to go. The gang gathered up Avalee and took their leave, leaving Much and Emma alone.
“So, my wife.”
“So, my husband.”
“We are alone.”
“And married.”
“Yes.”
Much took Emma's hand and led her to their marriage bed.
~ Fin ~