Fic: Haunted
Title: Haunted
Words: 1039
Spoilers: None, really
Disclaimer: *le sigh* no...
Notes: Right, this is set in my season four but you don't need to have read that to follow this, it's just an extension of one of the ideas I had for it. It could also be better. I've had to write it quickly over two very busy nights because I wanted to get something done for Treat Much Spooky but I'm away this weekend, which is why it's being posted now. I wanted to do something else for TMS as well, something lighter and sillier, but I just haven't had the time, so maybe when I get back I'll do a belated one. This is also unbeta'd, as I didn't have time to send it off and get it back and stuff. Think that's everything!
- - -
This was getting to be absurd. Every night now he’d dreamed about Allan, finding Allan’s body, being saved by Allan in Nettleston, when Allan’s brother Tom died…
The last time he’d seen Allan alive..
John had run into the camp, sending Much reeling, and yelling “Traitor!”. As soon as Robin and Tuck had pulled John away from Allan’s throat, Allan’s cries of innocence could be properly heard.
‘I haven’t done anything! I swear, I haven’t betrayed you!’ he looked at them in disbelief.
He turned to Much first. Much, who he’d grown close to, Much, who was his friend.
Much, who didn’t say anything.
Instead he looked at Robin, who looked back at him with resignation as Allan turned to Gisbourne for backup. Then Tuck. Robin.
None of them said a word.
Then Much felt as though he had split in two. One Much, a different Much to the one he was now, was still stood at camp, watching Allan plead with the people he loved; another was stood at the edge, watching the other Allan - a cold, bloodied, blue… dead.. Allan - who stood on the edge at the other side of camp, watching. Neither of them said a word either.
“So you think I’m a coward.” Continued Allan, the living Allan, to the group. “Is that it, yeah? That I’ve sold you out to save myself somehow, yeah?”
“You’ve done that before.” Much had finally found some words, the wrong words, and regretted them as soon as they were out of his mouth. Allan had betrayed them though, and if he’d done it again, it was just too much to risk that..
“I know. And every day I wish I could take that back, you know that!” He looked around at them, devastated. “None of you… none of you believe me. I’ll be off then.” He finished, turning to get his things.
“No.” Said Much. Much could hear the emotion in his own voice, knowing that inside his heart and mind were battling each other over loyalty and reason. “You’ll tell her about the tunnel.”
“I told you, I haven’t said-“
“Tie him up!” Bellowed Robin suddenly.
“What? No no no…Robin…”
“We can’t take the risk. Once we take the castle we will come back and we will sort this out.”
“John, don’t do this.” Allan begged.
“Don’t even look at me!” The big man replied angrily.
Again, Allan looked to Much. Much didn’t say anything.
Allan was still staring at Much. Much didn’t say anything.
Much woke suddenly, sweating and breathing heavily. Always, it was always like that, there was so many things Much needed to say to Allan, to explain to him, and he could never say a word. Not a damn word.
***
Time went on, and still Much was haunted by his dead friend. In a strange way he didn’t mind, seeing Allan, being reminded of what he’d done, what they’d all done.
He deserved it.
It might be nice though…. in a way… to see Robin again too.
* * *
After their failed attempt at rescuing King Richard at Durnstein, Much settled down to sleep at their makeshift camp. It had been a hard day; Archer’s comment had stung Much more than the new leader seemed to realise and Kate’s advances had confused things greatly. Where was that a month or two ago, when he’d actually wanted her?
Rolling over in his blankets and feeling his eyelids grow heavy, Much resigned himself to another guilt-heavy dream.
Only to find his expectations to be wrong. There was no prelude this time, no bitter memory, just Allan.
“Alright mate?”
His mind boggling, Much found that he was able to stutter incoherently. After a few moments, he was also able to speak. “Allan!”
The ex-outlaw raised his eyebrows, grinning a little.
“But- but- you’re dead!” Cried Much in his confusion. “I mean, obviously, you probably know you’re dead,-”
“I had noticed yeah.”
“- but you haven’t spoken to me since!”
This made Allan laugh. “People don’t generally Much.”
“No, I mean…” Much sighed. “Before, when I would.. see you, we.. we didn’t say anything.”
Allan nodded. “You didn’t need to talk before.”
“Didn’t-?! I did need to! I didn’t know what.. Without… I was-!”
“You were sad, Much. Never desperate.”
“Not desperate? I was going to let a lion eat me! What was I then if not desperate?”
“Yeah well, I uh..” Allan shrugged a little, sheepishly. “.. was a bit busy then. Really mate, you wouldn’t believe some of the women up he-” Much was not looking impressed. “Yeah, well, sorry. I’m here now though, eh?”
“Yes, you are.” Agreed Much. “But why? Why are you… why not..”
“Robin?” Allan asked, anticipating what Much wasn’t saying.
Unable to speak for the moment, Much nodded.
Allan looked kindly at him. “He’s at rest mate. Happy. You know that.”
Looking down, Much nodded slowly. “Then why… why are you here? You aren’t….?”
“No, I’m not at rest because you aren’t at rest mate! So I can’t get any peace either!”
“Of course I’m not ‘at rest’!” Cried Much, suddenly animated. “Everything that’s going on, Richard, now Kate, and every night I wake up, because of you! And then I can’t get back to sleep because I can’t talk to you, and there’s all these things I should say and now you’re here and we’re talking and suddenly I can’t seem to say any of them!”
He took a deep breath or two, rubbing his forehead and surreptitiously wiping his eyes.
“Much..” Said Allan gently. “You’ve gotta let it go mate. I have. I mean yeah, I was angry before but… I understand it all now. You did what you had to do to protect the gang, I get it. Anyway, if I’d stayed put instead of running off..”
“No, Allan.” Much replied sadly. “We should’ve believed you. I should have stood up for you. I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.”
Much’s mouth hung open a little as he realised that this was it. This was the last time he’d see Allan. There was so much to say, and yet…. There was nothing more to be said.
“Goodbye, my friend.”
“Goodbye Much.”
Much woke slowly this time. And smiled.
- - -
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