Fic: Hope for Healing - Chapter 3
Title: Hope for Healing - Chapter 3
Author: wastingyourgum
Characters: Will, Djaq, Guy, Marian, Sarah
Mentions: Little John, Sheriff Vaizey, Robin, Much
Rating: PG
Genre: Drama, Angst
Warnings: None
Words: 2349
Disclaimer: BBC & TA own anything you find familiar.
Notes: Takes place at the start of July, shortly after 2x11. Many thanks to my betas: jagnikjen and robinfanatic
Summary: The same evening: Will goes to find Djaq; Guy visits Marian to ask after her health and Marian hears of the day's events from her maid...
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Previous Chapter
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CHAPTER 3
Will found Djaq sitting with her back to him, on a fallen tree a short distance away from the camp.
She heard him approaching and quickly turned to face him, her hand reaching for her sword hilt. The late evening summer's sun lit her face with a golden glow, making her dark hair and skin shine radiantly. When she saw it was him, her expression softened from wariness to sadness and great longing.
Will felt a deep longing of his own; she was so beautiful but there was still so much unsaid between them. Things were different since Allan had left. They had come to a sort of unspoken agreement that closer physical contact was something they could have. Their hands would reach out and find each other in quiet private moments; she would lean into him if they were sitting together - but at no point had they ever said out loud that their relationship had changed from just friends into something more. It was as if admitting it would somehow damage the fragile illusion that they could have something so normal and, at the same time, so special.
He sat down beside her on the other side of the log, facing the other direction. They turned their bodies towards each other as if to speak but when he saw the pain in her eyes he wordlessly wrapped his arms around her instead. She leaned her cheek against his chest and they sat like that, gradually matching the rhythm of their breathing to one another and neither saying a word, until he suddenly felt her collapse in on herself and a damp feeling against his skin let him know that she had finally allowed her tears to fall.
"Shh, Djaq, it's all right." He stroked her hair as she continued her silent sobbing into his chest.
Djaq took several deep breaths. "Oh, Will - it is so very far from all right."
"There was nothing you could have done - nothing any of us could have done."
"It is not just that," she said quietly.
"It's not?" Will frowned. "Then what is it?"
Djaq pulled herself away from him and looked to the ground. When she finally spoke it was very reluctantly. "When Gisborne... When he did what he did... I was happy..."
"Happy?" Will was stunned. That made no sense at all. "Djaq, what--"
"Let me finish." She looked back up at him and the sun caught her face again, glinting off the tear tracks down her cheeks. "I was happy it was not you."
Will felt his mouth drop open in surprise. Djaq's eyes were burning and Will told himself it had to be the sunlight - she could not feel that passionately about him of all people. He didn't dare believe that.
"I love... loved John very much and I will mourn greatly for him - but I could not bear it if something happened to you."
Will couldn't think of a single thing to say to that. He opened his mouth, hoping some words would present themselves but nothing came out. Instead he reached for her again and she sank into his arms.
He started to understand a little of how she must feel - he too was saddened by John's death but now... now he was glad that it had prompted Djaq to admit that he was special to her and for that he felt glad - and also a little guilty.
"I think... I think John would've understood," he finally said. "He knew what it was to have somebody who means more to you than anyone else." He put his hand under her chin and lifted her eyes to meet his again. "And so do I..."
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Guy was exhausted.
It had been a long, tiring day; productive, yet ultimately frustrating. The loss of his lieutenant would be a significant blow to Hood but while things were looking much more promising, the sheriff was no closer to actually laying his hands on the Pact of Nottingham than he'd been that morning.
Guy was almost to the door of his room when he realised he hadn't seen Marian at all since yesterday. Since her return to the castle, he had quickly grown accustomed once more to seeing her every day. In fact, he had almost come to depend on it. The thought that she had agreed to remain in the castle at his request had indeed made things bearable on more than one occasion.
He was still certain her "illness" was directly related to Vaizey's "entertainment". Although if that were so, why should she continue the deception well into the evening? At first he had been concerned that her absence meant the execution would be interrupted by the Nightwatchman, but she had stayed true to her word in that respect, so his next logical assumption had been that she merely did not wish to witness it. Now he wondered if she had heard of the part he had played. He still had his doubts about just how sympathetic she was to Hood and his gang but she would hardly think well of him for cutting any man's throat like an animal, whether he be one of Hood's or not.
Several others amongst the nobles had doubtless found the method of execution distasteful but then he had never courted popular opinion. Only one man's opinion really mattered to him - and one woman's; one woman who was not afraid to voice that opinion. Marian did not usually shy away from letting him know of her disapproval - she would confront rather than avoid - and if she was not avoiding him, why else would she remain cooped up in her room on such a warm day?
Now that the suspicion had been planted in his mind that things may not be as he had thought, he had to make sure. He turned and headed towards her chambers.
As he rounded the corner of the corridor leading to her room, he stopped dead as another thought struck him - she had complained of being unwell at breakfast. The announcement of the outlaw's capture and imminent execution had not been made until mid-morning, with the execution itself taking place at noon. She couldn't have known earlier and therefore had no reason to fake an illness, which meant...
Guy broke into a run for the last part of the short distance to Marian's room. He stopped to collect his breath and knocked firmly on the door. "Marian?"
"Who is it?" Marian's voice sounded much less strong than it usually did and brought a sudden chill to his spine.
"It's me, Marian - Guy. I heard you were unwell and wanted to see if you had everything you require. May I enter?"
"Just a moment."
He waited patiently as he heard her moving about within the room and then heading towards the door. Her steps were far more hesitant than expected, and his worst fears were realised when she finally opened the door a crack and peered out at him. Her face was pale and her eyes - those beautiful eyes - were bright with fever.
"Marian..." He moved to push open the door but she held her ground.
"I'm sorry, Guy. I think it would be best if you didn't come in. I would not wish you to be exposed to anything I may pass on to you."
His heart seized with simultaneous fear for her health and joy at her seeming concern for his. "Is there anything I can do for you? You know you have but to name it..."
"No, Guy, thank you. I'm sure it will quickly pass and I will be quite recovered by the morning. I just need a good night's sleep."
"Your water is sufficient? Your bedding? Have you seen a physician?" he asked, fully aware of how pathetic he must sound but unable to stop himself.
"I do not wish to trouble a physician, Guy. I'm sure it's nothing serious - but thank you again. I really just need to rest." She turned sleepily away from him as she gently closed the door in his face.
Guy stood there quietly considering if there was anything he could do. Marian frequently made him feel unworthy, even inadequate, but complete powerlessness was a new and most unwelcome sensation.
He turned on his heel and headed back to his room. She was right - a good night's sleep would probably be all the cure she needed and would do him no harm either, especially since he had another active day ahead of him tomorrow.
She would be fine.
She had to be...
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Marian woke from a light doze when she heard the gentle tapping on her door. "Who is it?" she called warily - she did not feel she had the energy for any more verbal sparring with Guy just now.
"It's Sarah, milady."
Marian relaxed. "Come in."
Her maid entered and placed a tray of food carefully down on the table. "I brought you some supper, milady."
"Thank you, Sarah. I'm afraid I'm still not really hungry." Marian struggled to sit up in the bed and Sarah hurriedly moved to help her, punching the bolsters into shape and placing them behind her as she lay back against them.
"You should try to eat a little, milady," Sarah said hesitantly.
Marian smiled weakly. "I appreciate your concern, Sarah, but I've done nothing but sleep all day and that hardly works up an appetite. You can take that bread back to Jess if you like."
"Thank you, milady." Sarah brought her over some water.
Marian took a few sips but her stomach complained even at that little amount and she held the cup back out to Sarah. "What was all the noise outside earlier?" she asked.
Sarah sighed. "The sheriff caught one of Robin's men in the castle this morning. He..." She choked back a small sob and put her hand to her mouth.
Marian's face grew even paler, and she sat up and clutched at Sarah's arm, making her almost drop the cup of water. "Tell me, Sarah - please..."
"He... he had him killed in the courtyard at noon. I'm sorry I didn't wake you, milady, but it were no sight fit for your eyes. He weren't hanged - Sir Guy cut his throat," she finished quietly.
Marian fell back heavily against the pillows as a sudden wave of nausea swept over her, both at the thought of the act itself and its perpetrator. It was mixed with overwhelming relief that it was not Robin himself who had been killed and a horrible sense of guilt that she should be pleased by another's death. She should take no comfort from any one's passing like that.
One of Robin's men... so it was not Djaq either. "Which one was it, Sarah?" Please don't let it be Much... or Will... or John - Lord, I don't want it to be any of them! Please let it be a mistake...
"It were the big, older one, Milady - Little John."
Marian closed her eyes and let out a long breath as she felt hot tears run down her cheeks.
"He were the one who helped cure our Jess when she were poisoned," Sarah said quietly. "Too good a man for a death like that."
"Very few men deserve a death like that," Marian sighed.
Except perhaps Vaizey himself, she thought. How else to break his seemingly unshakeable hold over Guy? Every time she thought she was making progress - helping Guy see the man she knew he could become - Vaizey would order him to commit some new act of barbarity and Guy would go along with it, mistaking blind loyalty for honour.
She thought back to the last time she'd seen John. It had been the last time she'd left the outlaws' camp, heading for a tree to fetch down a pigeon. He'd handed Robin a coil of rope and Robin had told him they wouldn't be long. It felt like a lifetime ago.
She cast her mind a little further back to when she had first gone to the camp, remembering her sudden surprise as he had reached for her and pulled her into his huge arms with no warning. The initial awkwardness had vanished almost instantly, replaced by a feeling of warmth and safety as she felt those arms wrap gently around her, like a shield that would keep the whole world away until she wanted to let it back in.
When she had been of a size for her own father to hold her as completely as that, he had been distant, still grieving over her mother's death. Now she was grieving over his death and John, who seemed to say nothing but see everything, had recognised that and given her somewhere to hide - just for a moment - from Robin, from Guy, from all the pressures of her constant balancing act between castle and forest.
And now, he too was gone.
Marian opened her eyes again. "Did Robin not attempt to save him?" she asked.
"I don't think he had time, milady," Sarah replied. "It were a very quick death, if nothing else."
Robin would still have tried something. Marian knew him too well to think he had not at least initiated a plan for John's rescue even if he had been unsuccessful. That failure and Vaizey's inevitable taunting would not sit well with him. She could only hope it would not make him too reckless. "You said he was caught in the castle?"
"Yes, milady - that's what I heard."
Marian sighed again and fought down another swell of nausea. She could only think of one reason the outlaws would have risked coming to the castle. They would have been following Robin and he would have been trying to see her. "Take the food away please, Sarah. I may feel more like having something in the morning but I certainly don't now."
"Yes, milady..."
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Next Chapter
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Author: wastingyourgum
Characters: Will, Djaq, Guy, Marian, Sarah
Mentions: Little John, Sheriff Vaizey, Robin, Much
Rating: PG
Genre: Drama, Angst
Warnings: None
Words: 2349
Disclaimer: BBC & TA own anything you find familiar.
Notes: Takes place at the start of July, shortly after 2x11. Many thanks to my betas: jagnikjen and robinfanatic
Summary: The same evening: Will goes to find Djaq; Guy visits Marian to ask after her health and Marian hears of the day's events from her maid...
>>>------------------------->
Previous Chapter
>>>------------------------->
CHAPTER 3
Will found Djaq sitting with her back to him, on a fallen tree a short distance away from the camp.
She heard him approaching and quickly turned to face him, her hand reaching for her sword hilt. The late evening summer's sun lit her face with a golden glow, making her dark hair and skin shine radiantly. When she saw it was him, her expression softened from wariness to sadness and great longing.
Will felt a deep longing of his own; she was so beautiful but there was still so much unsaid between them. Things were different since Allan had left. They had come to a sort of unspoken agreement that closer physical contact was something they could have. Their hands would reach out and find each other in quiet private moments; she would lean into him if they were sitting together - but at no point had they ever said out loud that their relationship had changed from just friends into something more. It was as if admitting it would somehow damage the fragile illusion that they could have something so normal and, at the same time, so special.
He sat down beside her on the other side of the log, facing the other direction. They turned their bodies towards each other as if to speak but when he saw the pain in her eyes he wordlessly wrapped his arms around her instead. She leaned her cheek against his chest and they sat like that, gradually matching the rhythm of their breathing to one another and neither saying a word, until he suddenly felt her collapse in on herself and a damp feeling against his skin let him know that she had finally allowed her tears to fall.
"Shh, Djaq, it's all right." He stroked her hair as she continued her silent sobbing into his chest.
Djaq took several deep breaths. "Oh, Will - it is so very far from all right."
"There was nothing you could have done - nothing any of us could have done."
"It is not just that," she said quietly.
"It's not?" Will frowned. "Then what is it?"
Djaq pulled herself away from him and looked to the ground. When she finally spoke it was very reluctantly. "When Gisborne... When he did what he did... I was happy..."
"Happy?" Will was stunned. That made no sense at all. "Djaq, what--"
"Let me finish." She looked back up at him and the sun caught her face again, glinting off the tear tracks down her cheeks. "I was happy it was not you."
Will felt his mouth drop open in surprise. Djaq's eyes were burning and Will told himself it had to be the sunlight - she could not feel that passionately about him of all people. He didn't dare believe that.
"I love... loved John very much and I will mourn greatly for him - but I could not bear it if something happened to you."
Will couldn't think of a single thing to say to that. He opened his mouth, hoping some words would present themselves but nothing came out. Instead he reached for her again and she sank into his arms.
He started to understand a little of how she must feel - he too was saddened by John's death but now... now he was glad that it had prompted Djaq to admit that he was special to her and for that he felt glad - and also a little guilty.
"I think... I think John would've understood," he finally said. "He knew what it was to have somebody who means more to you than anyone else." He put his hand under her chin and lifted her eyes to meet his again. "And so do I..."
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Guy was exhausted.
It had been a long, tiring day; productive, yet ultimately frustrating. The loss of his lieutenant would be a significant blow to Hood but while things were looking much more promising, the sheriff was no closer to actually laying his hands on the Pact of Nottingham than he'd been that morning.
Guy was almost to the door of his room when he realised he hadn't seen Marian at all since yesterday. Since her return to the castle, he had quickly grown accustomed once more to seeing her every day. In fact, he had almost come to depend on it. The thought that she had agreed to remain in the castle at his request had indeed made things bearable on more than one occasion.
He was still certain her "illness" was directly related to Vaizey's "entertainment". Although if that were so, why should she continue the deception well into the evening? At first he had been concerned that her absence meant the execution would be interrupted by the Nightwatchman, but she had stayed true to her word in that respect, so his next logical assumption had been that she merely did not wish to witness it. Now he wondered if she had heard of the part he had played. He still had his doubts about just how sympathetic she was to Hood and his gang but she would hardly think well of him for cutting any man's throat like an animal, whether he be one of Hood's or not.
Several others amongst the nobles had doubtless found the method of execution distasteful but then he had never courted popular opinion. Only one man's opinion really mattered to him - and one woman's; one woman who was not afraid to voice that opinion. Marian did not usually shy away from letting him know of her disapproval - she would confront rather than avoid - and if she was not avoiding him, why else would she remain cooped up in her room on such a warm day?
Now that the suspicion had been planted in his mind that things may not be as he had thought, he had to make sure. He turned and headed towards her chambers.
As he rounded the corner of the corridor leading to her room, he stopped dead as another thought struck him - she had complained of being unwell at breakfast. The announcement of the outlaw's capture and imminent execution had not been made until mid-morning, with the execution itself taking place at noon. She couldn't have known earlier and therefore had no reason to fake an illness, which meant...
Guy broke into a run for the last part of the short distance to Marian's room. He stopped to collect his breath and knocked firmly on the door. "Marian?"
"Who is it?" Marian's voice sounded much less strong than it usually did and brought a sudden chill to his spine.
"It's me, Marian - Guy. I heard you were unwell and wanted to see if you had everything you require. May I enter?"
"Just a moment."
He waited patiently as he heard her moving about within the room and then heading towards the door. Her steps were far more hesitant than expected, and his worst fears were realised when she finally opened the door a crack and peered out at him. Her face was pale and her eyes - those beautiful eyes - were bright with fever.
"Marian..." He moved to push open the door but she held her ground.
"I'm sorry, Guy. I think it would be best if you didn't come in. I would not wish you to be exposed to anything I may pass on to you."
His heart seized with simultaneous fear for her health and joy at her seeming concern for his. "Is there anything I can do for you? You know you have but to name it..."
"No, Guy, thank you. I'm sure it will quickly pass and I will be quite recovered by the morning. I just need a good night's sleep."
"Your water is sufficient? Your bedding? Have you seen a physician?" he asked, fully aware of how pathetic he must sound but unable to stop himself.
"I do not wish to trouble a physician, Guy. I'm sure it's nothing serious - but thank you again. I really just need to rest." She turned sleepily away from him as she gently closed the door in his face.
Guy stood there quietly considering if there was anything he could do. Marian frequently made him feel unworthy, even inadequate, but complete powerlessness was a new and most unwelcome sensation.
He turned on his heel and headed back to his room. She was right - a good night's sleep would probably be all the cure she needed and would do him no harm either, especially since he had another active day ahead of him tomorrow.
She would be fine.
She had to be...
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Marian woke from a light doze when she heard the gentle tapping on her door. "Who is it?" she called warily - she did not feel she had the energy for any more verbal sparring with Guy just now.
"It's Sarah, milady."
Marian relaxed. "Come in."
Her maid entered and placed a tray of food carefully down on the table. "I brought you some supper, milady."
"Thank you, Sarah. I'm afraid I'm still not really hungry." Marian struggled to sit up in the bed and Sarah hurriedly moved to help her, punching the bolsters into shape and placing them behind her as she lay back against them.
"You should try to eat a little, milady," Sarah said hesitantly.
Marian smiled weakly. "I appreciate your concern, Sarah, but I've done nothing but sleep all day and that hardly works up an appetite. You can take that bread back to Jess if you like."
"Thank you, milady." Sarah brought her over some water.
Marian took a few sips but her stomach complained even at that little amount and she held the cup back out to Sarah. "What was all the noise outside earlier?" she asked.
Sarah sighed. "The sheriff caught one of Robin's men in the castle this morning. He..." She choked back a small sob and put her hand to her mouth.
Marian's face grew even paler, and she sat up and clutched at Sarah's arm, making her almost drop the cup of water. "Tell me, Sarah - please..."
"He... he had him killed in the courtyard at noon. I'm sorry I didn't wake you, milady, but it were no sight fit for your eyes. He weren't hanged - Sir Guy cut his throat," she finished quietly.
Marian fell back heavily against the pillows as a sudden wave of nausea swept over her, both at the thought of the act itself and its perpetrator. It was mixed with overwhelming relief that it was not Robin himself who had been killed and a horrible sense of guilt that she should be pleased by another's death. She should take no comfort from any one's passing like that.
One of Robin's men... so it was not Djaq either. "Which one was it, Sarah?" Please don't let it be Much... or Will... or John - Lord, I don't want it to be any of them! Please let it be a mistake...
"It were the big, older one, Milady - Little John."
Marian closed her eyes and let out a long breath as she felt hot tears run down her cheeks.
"He were the one who helped cure our Jess when she were poisoned," Sarah said quietly. "Too good a man for a death like that."
"Very few men deserve a death like that," Marian sighed.
Except perhaps Vaizey himself, she thought. How else to break his seemingly unshakeable hold over Guy? Every time she thought she was making progress - helping Guy see the man she knew he could become - Vaizey would order him to commit some new act of barbarity and Guy would go along with it, mistaking blind loyalty for honour.
She thought back to the last time she'd seen John. It had been the last time she'd left the outlaws' camp, heading for a tree to fetch down a pigeon. He'd handed Robin a coil of rope and Robin had told him they wouldn't be long. It felt like a lifetime ago.
She cast her mind a little further back to when she had first gone to the camp, remembering her sudden surprise as he had reached for her and pulled her into his huge arms with no warning. The initial awkwardness had vanished almost instantly, replaced by a feeling of warmth and safety as she felt those arms wrap gently around her, like a shield that would keep the whole world away until she wanted to let it back in.
When she had been of a size for her own father to hold her as completely as that, he had been distant, still grieving over her mother's death. Now she was grieving over his death and John, who seemed to say nothing but see everything, had recognised that and given her somewhere to hide - just for a moment - from Robin, from Guy, from all the pressures of her constant balancing act between castle and forest.
And now, he too was gone.
Marian opened her eyes again. "Did Robin not attempt to save him?" she asked.
"I don't think he had time, milady," Sarah replied. "It were a very quick death, if nothing else."
Robin would still have tried something. Marian knew him too well to think he had not at least initiated a plan for John's rescue even if he had been unsuccessful. That failure and Vaizey's inevitable taunting would not sit well with him. She could only hope it would not make him too reckless. "You said he was caught in the castle?"
"Yes, milady - that's what I heard."
Marian sighed again and fought down another swell of nausea. She could only think of one reason the outlaws would have risked coming to the castle. They would have been following Robin and he would have been trying to see her. "Take the food away please, Sarah. I may feel more like having something in the morning but I certainly don't now."
"Yes, milady..."
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Next Chapter
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