When Good Nuns Go Bad
Author: mideltone_one
Title: When Good Nuns Go Bad
Words: 1260
Genre: Gen
Rating: PG
Disclaimer:The Robin Hood characters written about here belong to Tiger Aspect and the British Broadcasting Corporation. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended nor is any money being made. I don't own them - if I did I'd be too busy drooling to write! All mistakes are mine.
Summary: Allan's good with nuns, but sometimes "good" is the last thing nuns want.
Warnings: Based around Allan's line from 2x08 Get Carter!, but not tied to the episode at all.
Characters/Pairings: Allan
Author's Note: Hopefully it's OK to post more than one entry - if not, please remove it. Written for the Write Allan Right 2009 ficathon.
When Good Nuns Go Bad
A small opening appeared in the large oak door at the front of the nunnery. A young woman’s voice, her face hidden from view, rang out. “Who seeks absolution from the sisters of Our Lady?” The hooded figure standing in the roadway looked up and down the road to check it was deserted before replying, in a clearly masculine voice, “I come to serve the holy sisters to ensure their earthly needs do not distract from their duties to our Lord.” The opening slammed shut, and there was the sound of raised voices from inside the building. After a few moments delay a creaking sound identified the imminent opening of the door. The figure stepped inside, and the door slammed shut behind him.
“Ladies!” said Allan to the congregated gaggle of nuns, “May I say how beautiful you’re all looking.” A girlish giggle filled the room for a moment as the man’s eyes flitted from face to face, their gleam matched by his wide grin. It was quietened by a “shush” from the older nuns as the mother superior walked into the hall. “Mister A Dale,” she said softly, “what a pleasure to see you again. Has it been a month already?”
Allan smiled to himself; the formal introduction was all part of the ritual now, but he had no problem going along with it. “Call me Allan, please. The pleasure is all mine. And in fact it has been five weeks since my last visit. I’m sorry to say I was delayed by certain external forces, which very nearly cost me my life.” There was a hushed gasp from the nuns.
The mother superior smiled back at him. “I see it as part of God’s great plan for us all that you are brought safe to our door regularly. We will, of course, pray for you.”
“That is too kind, Reverend Mother,” he replied, “I just wish there was something I could do for all of you to repay my spiritual debt.” A wave of knowing looks passed from woman to woman in the room.
“You know full well what you can do for us”, said the mother superior, laying a hand gently on his shoulder, “and please, as you wish to dispense with your own title, call my Judith.”
“Judith it is then,” he replied, “Now am I to be in the same room as last time, or have you other plans for me?”
“Sisters,” said Judith, raising her voice slightly, “the usual rules apply. If you do not wish to partake you are free to leave.” Nobody moved. Evidently the man’s visits were welcomed and enjoyed. He smiled to himself at the thought of all these women awaiting his arrival each month. “Very well then,” continued Judith, “let us begin.” As one, the nuns removed their headpieces letting their hair fall freely to their shoulders. This was a part of the routine that Allan particularly enjoyed, as real women emerged from the, albeit consensual, confines of their religious garb. “If you could form an orderly queue,” said Judith, linking arms with Allan and leading him to the head of the newly formed line. “I think the same room should be fine,” she said.
The women began to filter past the two of them, with Judith occasionally murmuring something leading to a disappointed face as the woman in question peeled off through an archway and away. Allan tried not to eaves drop as this happened, though on one occasion he did hear Judith say, “Come now Anne, you’ve been present for the last four times. Don’t you think you should miss this time, let somebody else have a go?” There was, of course, never any argument. In short order the room was deserted, with only Judith and Allan left in it.
“Best not to keep my ladies waiting,” said Allan, grinning widely again, “I don’t want them tearing me to shreds, do I?”
Judith chuckled as she led him up the spiral staircase the other nuns had climbed moments before. “You know none of us would ever harm a hair on your head, silly boy,” she said, before planting a kiss lightly on his cheek.
The room at the top of the stairs now contained approximately forty women, who formed two parallel lines just about the width of a man apart. “Let me get in position before you start,” said Judith, walking behind the left hand column at a greater speed than was seemly for a nun. Once at the end of the line, by an oak door, she removed her own headpiece, to reveal a head of long auburn hair. As soon as she nodded to him Allan began making his way towards the door. As he passed each nun he would make some comment - “Have you changed your hair style?”, “I don’t know what you’re doing, but you look even younger than you did last time” - garnering a giggle or swoon. In one particular case he stopped to talk to one nun, and as he lent over to whisper to her, suddenly jerked back; somebody had evidently pinched his backside. He turned, feigning annoyance, and looked at the possible culprits, one of whom blushed red. “Tsk, tsk, Ellie,” he said, in a pretend stern voice, “how many times do I have to tell you, you shouldn’t touch what you can’t afford?” She looked worried for a fleeting moment, until he chuckled, causing her and her neighbouring sisters to break into helpless laughter.
He moved as quickly as he could, though it still took some time, but eventually he made it to the end of the room. Judith spoke again, “Ladies, Allan will be ready shortly. Please relax. There are tables with small beer and sweetmeats to keep you contented while you await your turn, though I would advise that you do not over indulge yourselves before you are called in.” A number of the women nodded at this sage advice. Allan watched as the column he had walked through dispersed around the room. “We’re none of us as young as we used to be,” she said to him quietly, “so if you need to rest and regain your ‘powers’, just let me know.”
“Not bein funny … but I’m raring to go. You know I abstain for a week before I visit you?”
“I wish I could say the same about my sisters,” she said. He raised an eyebrow in surprise. “You should see your face, you dear man,” she continued, “I was joking. Of course we are abstinent when you are away from us. Why do you think we all get so excited when you are here?”
“Good point,” he said, licking his lips, “We don’t want anyone getting over excited, do we? Let’s get started.”
He opened the door and walked into the room, closing it behind him. Judith waited patiently by the door until he called out “Send in the first group.”
“Ladies,” she called out, “would the first group join me in the chamber?” Four women quickly rose to their feet and lined up outside the door, with Judith at the front. “Remember ladies, we all want to enjoy ourselves, but we don’t want to wear our sweet man out do we? Let’s play fair.” With that she opened the door and they walked quickly into the room.
Allan sat at a large round cloth-covered table, with five empty chairs. “Ladies,” he said, “please take a seat. We’re playing for wafers, so try not to eat the winnings. Now let’s play cards.”
Title: When Good Nuns Go Bad
Words: 1260
Genre: Gen
Rating: PG
Disclaimer:The Robin Hood characters written about here belong to Tiger Aspect and the British Broadcasting Corporation. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended nor is any money being made. I don't own them - if I did I'd be too busy drooling to write! All mistakes are mine.
Summary: Allan's good with nuns, but sometimes "good" is the last thing nuns want.
Warnings: Based around Allan's line from 2x08 Get Carter!, but not tied to the episode at all.
Characters/Pairings: Allan
Author's Note: Hopefully it's OK to post more than one entry - if not, please remove it. Written for the Write Allan Right 2009 ficathon.
When Good Nuns Go Bad
A small opening appeared in the large oak door at the front of the nunnery. A young woman’s voice, her face hidden from view, rang out. “Who seeks absolution from the sisters of Our Lady?” The hooded figure standing in the roadway looked up and down the road to check it was deserted before replying, in a clearly masculine voice, “I come to serve the holy sisters to ensure their earthly needs do not distract from their duties to our Lord.” The opening slammed shut, and there was the sound of raised voices from inside the building. After a few moments delay a creaking sound identified the imminent opening of the door. The figure stepped inside, and the door slammed shut behind him.
“Ladies!” said Allan to the congregated gaggle of nuns, “May I say how beautiful you’re all looking.” A girlish giggle filled the room for a moment as the man’s eyes flitted from face to face, their gleam matched by his wide grin. It was quietened by a “shush” from the older nuns as the mother superior walked into the hall. “Mister A Dale,” she said softly, “what a pleasure to see you again. Has it been a month already?”
Allan smiled to himself; the formal introduction was all part of the ritual now, but he had no problem going along with it. “Call me Allan, please. The pleasure is all mine. And in fact it has been five weeks since my last visit. I’m sorry to say I was delayed by certain external forces, which very nearly cost me my life.” There was a hushed gasp from the nuns.
The mother superior smiled back at him. “I see it as part of God’s great plan for us all that you are brought safe to our door regularly. We will, of course, pray for you.”
“That is too kind, Reverend Mother,” he replied, “I just wish there was something I could do for all of you to repay my spiritual debt.” A wave of knowing looks passed from woman to woman in the room.
“You know full well what you can do for us”, said the mother superior, laying a hand gently on his shoulder, “and please, as you wish to dispense with your own title, call my Judith.”
“Judith it is then,” he replied, “Now am I to be in the same room as last time, or have you other plans for me?”
“Sisters,” said Judith, raising her voice slightly, “the usual rules apply. If you do not wish to partake you are free to leave.” Nobody moved. Evidently the man’s visits were welcomed and enjoyed. He smiled to himself at the thought of all these women awaiting his arrival each month. “Very well then,” continued Judith, “let us begin.” As one, the nuns removed their headpieces letting their hair fall freely to their shoulders. This was a part of the routine that Allan particularly enjoyed, as real women emerged from the, albeit consensual, confines of their religious garb. “If you could form an orderly queue,” said Judith, linking arms with Allan and leading him to the head of the newly formed line. “I think the same room should be fine,” she said.
The women began to filter past the two of them, with Judith occasionally murmuring something leading to a disappointed face as the woman in question peeled off through an archway and away. Allan tried not to eaves drop as this happened, though on one occasion he did hear Judith say, “Come now Anne, you’ve been present for the last four times. Don’t you think you should miss this time, let somebody else have a go?” There was, of course, never any argument. In short order the room was deserted, with only Judith and Allan left in it.
“Best not to keep my ladies waiting,” said Allan, grinning widely again, “I don’t want them tearing me to shreds, do I?”
Judith chuckled as she led him up the spiral staircase the other nuns had climbed moments before. “You know none of us would ever harm a hair on your head, silly boy,” she said, before planting a kiss lightly on his cheek.
The room at the top of the stairs now contained approximately forty women, who formed two parallel lines just about the width of a man apart. “Let me get in position before you start,” said Judith, walking behind the left hand column at a greater speed than was seemly for a nun. Once at the end of the line, by an oak door, she removed her own headpiece, to reveal a head of long auburn hair. As soon as she nodded to him Allan began making his way towards the door. As he passed each nun he would make some comment - “Have you changed your hair style?”, “I don’t know what you’re doing, but you look even younger than you did last time” - garnering a giggle or swoon. In one particular case he stopped to talk to one nun, and as he lent over to whisper to her, suddenly jerked back; somebody had evidently pinched his backside. He turned, feigning annoyance, and looked at the possible culprits, one of whom blushed red. “Tsk, tsk, Ellie,” he said, in a pretend stern voice, “how many times do I have to tell you, you shouldn’t touch what you can’t afford?” She looked worried for a fleeting moment, until he chuckled, causing her and her neighbouring sisters to break into helpless laughter.
He moved as quickly as he could, though it still took some time, but eventually he made it to the end of the room. Judith spoke again, “Ladies, Allan will be ready shortly. Please relax. There are tables with small beer and sweetmeats to keep you contented while you await your turn, though I would advise that you do not over indulge yourselves before you are called in.” A number of the women nodded at this sage advice. Allan watched as the column he had walked through dispersed around the room. “We’re none of us as young as we used to be,” she said to him quietly, “so if you need to rest and regain your ‘powers’, just let me know.”
“Not bein funny … but I’m raring to go. You know I abstain for a week before I visit you?”
“I wish I could say the same about my sisters,” she said. He raised an eyebrow in surprise. “You should see your face, you dear man,” she continued, “I was joking. Of course we are abstinent when you are away from us. Why do you think we all get so excited when you are here?”
“Good point,” he said, licking his lips, “We don’t want anyone getting over excited, do we? Let’s get started.”
He opened the door and walked into the room, closing it behind him. Judith waited patiently by the door until he called out “Send in the first group.”
“Ladies,” she called out, “would the first group join me in the chamber?” Four women quickly rose to their feet and lined up outside the door, with Judith at the front. “Remember ladies, we all want to enjoy ourselves, but we don’t want to wear our sweet man out do we? Let’s play fair.” With that she opened the door and they walked quickly into the room.
Allan sat at a large round cloth-covered table, with five empty chairs. “Ladies,” he said, “please take a seat. We’re playing for wafers, so try not to eat the winnings. Now let’s play cards.”