You're Just The Part of Me I Can't Let Go
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sam/Mercedes
Word Count: A little drabble somewhere over 1K
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Summary: Mercedes misses Sam.
She didn’t think she would feel this sick over the whole thing. But every time she sees him, her stomach rolls in nausea and can’t breathe. At first she thought it was her guilt eating away at her for cheating on Shane with him. Her conscience getting back at her for her infidelity.
And then, there’s Shane, who won’t stop calling her and begging her to get back together with him. She starts ignoring his calls because she can’t handle all the pressure he’s placing on her.
He corners her in the hallway after school when she’s on her way to glee and as she avoids his sad, brown eyes, she realizes she is not in love with him. She tries to tell him this but chokes on the words and instead says as nicely as she can, “Just give up Shane. I can’t be with you anymore.”
He sighs heavily and backs away from her before finally turning around and heading towards the locker room. She knows he’s going to go cry and of course it hurts her, but that nauseous feeling doesn’t come back and realizes she doesn’t feel guilty. She doesn’t feel like she owes him anything anymore and it suddenly gets easier to breathe again.
Until she sees Sam in glee and that nauseous feeling resurfaces. And it’s really confusing because she’s not torn between the two guys and she doesn’t feel guilty. He glances at her when she walks in the door but turns his eyes away quickly and her heart drops. Every time he avoids eye contact with her a part of her hurts.
It hits her that her nagging guilt is directed towards Sam and not Shane. Of course she felt bad for cheating on Shane, but she feels even worse for cheating Sam out of having her full attention. Ever since he returned, their entire relationship has been secretive glances and private conversations and she misses him. He deserves more from her than what she allowed herself to give.
She’d be deceiving herself if she ever denied that she loves him. It’s just that she doesn't know where to go from here.
And she doesn’t really know how to tell him how she feels.
…
She’s playing fifth wheel at The Lima Bean with Finn and Rachel and Kurt and Blaine, which she doesn’t mind because they’re all friends and she never really feels left out. Sometimes they get couple-y and she usually distracts herself with her phone until another group topic comes up.
She doesn’t even notice Sam until Finn is calling out to him and inviting him to their table. His hair is wet and messy and he’s wearing McKinley sweats, which means he probably just left swim practice. He was able to get a spot on the competitive swim and dive team and he actually loves it. He’s definitely built for it.
The only seat open is the one next to her and she tenses a little when he sits next to her. She hasn’t been this close to him in a while and she can practically feel something radiating from him. Like body heat, or tension, or hurt, or something. The nauseous feeling is threatening to bubble up but she breathes deeply and takes a couple of sips of her drink. She tries to include him in the conversation and fills him in on things that he might be missing and he relaxes after awhile and the awkwardness between them starts to fade away.
He leans back in his chair and casually lays his arm over the back of her chair and it scares her how natural it feels to be sitting with him in a group of couples even though he’s not touching her. She doesn’t know if he still wants her or if he’s still hurt or angry.
Everyone gets couple-y again and she turns to him with a nervous smile. He’s just staring at her with the sweetest, most sincere, most Sam expression. His eyes look really green and she gets that fluttering feeling in her belly.
“How’s your family?” He asks after a second. And that’s the thing; her parents love him. They liked Shane but they still ask about Sam all of the time. Even her older brother mentions him sometime because he and Sam bonded over lifting and video games when James was home over the summer and Sam was always there. He kind of became a part of her family.
“They’re doing well. They really miss you and they’re always asking about you,” she says smiling. He ducks his head and nods a little as a small grin places itself on his face.
“Yeah, they’re cool, I miss them too,” he says before lifting his eyes to meet hers, “but I miss you more.” Her stomach flutters again and she sucks in a deep breath before letting it go.
“I miss you, too,” she says because she means it and he’s always putting himself on the line and it’s time that she start expressing her emotions. A genuine, beautiful smile lights up his face and he leans in.
“Let’s get out of here,” he says and it sounds so much sexier than he probably intended but she nods her head, stands, and says goodbye to their friends. She pretends like she doesn’t see the smug looks on their faces.
Sam drives one of the cars that Burt always has sitting around the garage and she’s happy she rode with Kurt and Blaine so she doesn’t have to worry about her car. He walks her over to her side but pauses before opening the door, pushing her hair behind her ear. He’s staring again and she would be a little unsettled if she didn’t want him so much. His hands cup her face and he leans down pressing his lips against hers. When she deepens the kiss by opening her mouth and taking his bottom lip between hers, he pushes his hips against hers, pinning her to the car and she feels entirely too hot.
She lightly bites his lip the way that she knows he loves and he groans before pulling away and nuzzling his nose against hers. He rests his forehead against hers and gazes into her eyes with a wide smile. And she loves how romantic he his. Every moment with him feels like a fairy tale that she never knew was possible for her.
He pulls away completely and opens the door for her and she watches him walk around to his side of the car. They agree to go to her house and it excites her a little that he still knows the way. He grabs her hand and laces their fingers together over the console and catches her up on his family during the drive.
Her mom fawns over him as soon as he walks through the door and her dad gives them a knowing look. When she finally gets him to her room, he gets her on her back and they’re just trading kisses back and forth and chatting and it feels so much like last summer that she can’t stop smiling.
And she knows she doesn’t need to ask him what they are now because he’s made it more than obvious that he wants to be with her. But she asks anyway just to hear what he’ll say.
“Mercedes, we are exactly where we need to be: together,” he says, pressing his lips to her collarbone.
She couldn’t agree more.