I know we don't talk that much, Hoss but I'd like to say a small peice.
We all have a spiritual account, you could say. If you've done a lot of bad things, and/or a lot of self-destructive behaviors the balance will be tipped negatively. What you've done, in getting away from here into a place where you can clear your head is a positive step but it's not enough. Not even going to a church is enough. Prayer helps, but it's gotta be backed up by action.
I'm sure you've heard the saying "wherever ya go, there ya are". It's true, I know because I've done the same thing. Run off to a new place hoping to find a new me. In the end though, I was still the same person.
My point is, that in order to make a transformation in yourself come to pass you have to do things which tip the balance of your "account" back in the other direction. Start doing good things, right things and don't indulge in self-destruction, always hoping for that one moment of transformation. I've found, that God sometimes works spontaneously but mostly cumulatively.
I bring all this up because I can see in your journal entries that you're still the same Hoss you were, just in a different place.
Just get to work on becoming a better person, and your old life will eventually fade into memory.
We all have a spiritual account, you could say. If you've done a lot of bad things, and/or a lot of self-destructive behaviors the balance will be tipped negatively. What you've done, in getting away from here into a place where you can clear your head is a positive step but it's not enough. Not even going to a church is enough. Prayer helps, but it's gotta be backed up by action.
I'm sure you've heard the saying "wherever ya go, there ya are". It's true, I know because I've done the same thing. Run off to a new place hoping to find a new me. In the end though, I was still the same person.
My point is, that in order to make a transformation in yourself come to pass you have to do things which tip the balance of your "account" back in the other direction. Start doing good things, right things and don't indulge in self-destruction, always hoping for that one moment of transformation. I've found, that God sometimes works spontaneously but mostly cumulatively.
I bring all this up because I can see in your journal entries that you're still the same Hoss you were, just in a different place.
Just get to work on becoming a better person, and your old life will eventually fade into memory.
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