I know when to keep my mouth shut
I may only be a dilettante Buddhist but it's handy to pull out when I need it; like this afternoon at Target when I forced myself to practice Right Speech instead of tearing my cashier a new asshole. She was talking with other customers and the cashier next to her about the shooting at Park Place Mall today. In her opinion, the shooting was "boring" because it was just gang related and no one was killed. "Now," she said, "if a couple of guys in trench coats had gone through the mall with Uzis and killed a bunch of people, then we'd have something to talk about."
If I had chosen to say something, it would have been along the lines of, "You should be thankful that nothing truly terrible has ever happened to you, you privileged little white bitch, and shut your fucking trap." But I'm 36 years old and I have no desire to be banned from a store for getting into a fight with a 19 year old cunt with a bad bleach job. And also the Buddhist thing. So I just took my stuff and left.
I know when it's not going to do any good to say anything. It took me a lot of years to learn to recognize those situations. I find myself keeping my own fucking trap shut a lot more often the older I get. It's not always easy. There are a lot of things, bad and good, I'd like to say to various people right now but I know my words would probably do more harm than good in all of those cases.
I don't need to say everything I think. I once thought I was being untrue to myself if I didn't. I no longer believe that. I no longer think that my opinion matters more than someone else's feelings. In time, that little bitch at Target will come to realize this as well. Or she won't and someone will smack her in the mouth.
If I had chosen to say something, it would have been along the lines of, "You should be thankful that nothing truly terrible has ever happened to you, you privileged little white bitch, and shut your fucking trap." But I'm 36 years old and I have no desire to be banned from a store for getting into a fight with a 19 year old cunt with a bad bleach job. And also the Buddhist thing. So I just took my stuff and left.
I know when it's not going to do any good to say anything. It took me a lot of years to learn to recognize those situations. I find myself keeping my own fucking trap shut a lot more often the older I get. It's not always easy. There are a lot of things, bad and good, I'd like to say to various people right now but I know my words would probably do more harm than good in all of those cases.
I don't need to say everything I think. I once thought I was being untrue to myself if I didn't. I no longer believe that. I no longer think that my opinion matters more than someone else's feelings. In time, that little bitch at Target will come to realize this as well. Or she won't and someone will smack her in the mouth.