Disapointments: thoughts on
So I was channel surfing the other day and decided to get up and get a drink. From the other room, I hear something about "the Cardasians next on E!"
Naturally, I geek out. Cardasians? I needed some Star Trek to hold me over until the new movie comes out. So I switch over to E! My first thoughts upon seeing the show: "What the fuck is this?" "This isn't about Star Trek?!" "You don't spell Cardasians K a r d a s h i a n s!"
After I manage to choke off my anger at E! for lying to me, I notice there are some hot females on the show. So, after a few minutes I focus on Kim. Judging by the first few minutes of the show, she's famous, attractive, and has no discernable talents. I bet she's naked on the internet somewhere.
So I pulled up the trusty laptop and bless those people at google who steered me right to a Kim Kardashian sex tape... took me a few minutes to find a working torrent, but I have this to say about it:
Dear RayJ,
Sorry dude. If I were ever in a sex video with Kim Kardashian, I would clip the multiple scenes together to look like I had more stamina. Less than four minutes of mediocre sex? I'd change my name and move to a country that didn't have the internet if there was a video of me having sex for 3:53 floating around.
Kudos on boning Kim though. If you would be so kind as to mary and divorce all of those Kardashians so they will change the name of their show to something that didn't make me have a geek-gasm when I first heard it, that would be great.
--Travis
Dear Kim,
Kudos on not answering your cell phone like Paris Hilton. Good luck with your... career. Now change your last name plz kthxbai
--Travis
Naturally, I geek out. Cardasians? I needed some Star Trek to hold me over until the new movie comes out. So I switch over to E! My first thoughts upon seeing the show: "What the fuck is this?" "This isn't about Star Trek?!" "You don't spell Cardasians K a r d a s h i a n s!"
After I manage to choke off my anger at E! for lying to me, I notice there are some hot females on the show. So, after a few minutes I focus on Kim. Judging by the first few minutes of the show, she's famous, attractive, and has no discernable talents. I bet she's naked on the internet somewhere.
So I pulled up the trusty laptop and bless those people at google who steered me right to a Kim Kardashian sex tape... took me a few minutes to find a working torrent, but I have this to say about it:
Dear RayJ,
Sorry dude. If I were ever in a sex video with Kim Kardashian, I would clip the multiple scenes together to look like I had more stamina. Less than four minutes of mediocre sex? I'd change my name and move to a country that didn't have the internet if there was a video of me having sex for 3:53 floating around.
Kudos on boning Kim though. If you would be so kind as to mary and divorce all of those Kardashians so they will change the name of their show to something that didn't make me have a geek-gasm when I first heard it, that would be great.
--Travis
Dear Kim,
Kudos on not answering your cell phone like Paris Hilton. Good luck with your... career. Now change your last name plz kthxbai
--Travis