Well, hunna. Can't say I can make you feel better, but here's a few things for you to think about. I know what you mean, why isn't "you're the one I love" enough to be a relationship? I think that's the hardest thing I had to learn. An ex of mine and I came to the consensus that we both loved each other but couldn't be together, the timing, situation, and whatnot weren't right. Unfortunately, you can love each other yet not be right for each other or not have all the components that make a relationship work (timing, other situations going on in life, experiences, etc).
Part of why we broke up was that he wanted to experience more, he started to wonder what other girls would be like (I was his first and only, and visa-versa), and felt that he may be missing out on something. And hard as that was, I kinda understand it now. You grow with experiences, and some people really need those, we probably all do. Even if you've found someone you love to be with, you still need to be shown and learn on your own that there is nothing else better, and even if not - that the other things can't teach you stuff that being with one person can. If you're not ready to settle in, it's going to hurt your partner in the long-term if you don't go find what you want and need in someone, how you best handle relationships and others, and to simply grow as a person. Unfortunately a variety of experiences helps us to grow, and some people can't do that (or aren't ready to) in the confines of a serious monogamous relationship.
I don't think he intends to hurt or use you for emotional needs while seeking out someone to please him otherwise. It's not that simple and in your heart you know that. And the whole are you stupid - Should I smack you now or later? :P You're human, as is he...I don't think he means to hurt you, nor is he unhappy with who you are and it isn't a matter of whether or not you're good enough, it might be that right now - it's not right. Right now he needs something else (or feels he does) to make himself happy. And just as you feel you want something for yourself, we often look after our own interests the most. It's a double-edged sword in some ways.
And worst of all, he could simply be making a mistake caused by fears of many things, committment, someone who really cares, and uncertainty of what would happen next or how involved and potentially hurt he could get if he let things progress with you. It's not reasonable, or fair, or fun...but it's sometimes how things go. ANd hopefully it won't end badly, that you'll at least have a great friend and both of you will learn something from the relationship - but just hold yourself up, let yourself be upset, but do your best to keep things in perspective. You're an awesome kid, things find a way of working out for the best - even if not in the way you thought they would or wanted them to at first.
Now, after all that mess, I hope you get something out of it. :P Keep in mind this is advice coming from a single girl who can't find a boy that is honest, follows through, or wants to commit to a relationship and make things work through good and bad! Either that or I just suck at the whole thing. :)
Part of why we broke up was that he wanted to experience more, he started to wonder what other girls would be like (I was his first and only, and visa-versa), and felt that he may be missing out on something. And hard as that was, I kinda understand it now. You grow with experiences, and some people really need those, we probably all do. Even if you've found someone you love to be with, you still need to be shown and learn on your own that there is nothing else better, and even if not - that the other things can't teach you stuff that being with one person can. If you're not ready to settle in, it's going to hurt your partner in the long-term if you don't go find what you want and need in someone, how you best handle relationships and others, and to simply grow as a person. Unfortunately a variety of experiences helps us to grow, and some people can't do that (or aren't ready to) in the confines of a serious monogamous relationship.
I don't think he intends to hurt or use you for emotional needs while seeking out someone to please him otherwise. It's not that simple and in your heart you know that. And the whole are you stupid - Should I smack you now or later? :P You're human, as is he...I don't think he means to hurt you, nor is he unhappy with who you are and it isn't a matter of whether or not you're good enough, it might be that right now - it's not right. Right now he needs something else (or feels he does) to make himself happy. And just as you feel you want something for yourself, we often look after our own interests the most. It's a double-edged sword in some ways.
And worst of all, he could simply be making a mistake caused by fears of many things, committment, someone who really cares, and uncertainty of what would happen next or how involved and potentially hurt he could get if he let things progress with you. It's not reasonable, or fair, or fun...but it's sometimes how things go. ANd hopefully it won't end badly, that you'll at least have a great friend and both of you will learn something from the relationship - but just hold yourself up, let yourself be upset, but do your best to keep things in perspective. You're an awesome kid, things find a way of working out for the best - even if not in the way you thought they would or wanted them to at first.
Now, after all that mess, I hope you get something out of it. :P Keep in mind this is advice coming from a single girl who can't find a boy that is honest, follows through, or wants to commit to a relationship and make things work through good and bad! Either that or I just suck at the whole thing. :)
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