Dating Disaster #239292929003
(the names in this story have been changed to protect the identities of the not so innocent)
Well, I can’t say it was a dating disaster, not at first anyway. The first date was one that I didn’t want to end. Eric texted me 3 weeks after we first met, right about the time I was thinking he wasn’t really interested. His text just said “ARE YOU AVAILABLE THIS WEEKEND”. All in caps, which told me he either was too lazy to figure out how to write in lower case or he wasn’t very savvy technologically. I, of course, had plans made for the weekend. I decided that I could cancel my Sunday movie night with my friend Al just this once. I really liked Eric, after all. Unlike most of the ‘western’ men in Korea, he had a real job. He works for one of the world’s largest electronic companies as a financial consultant (ruling out the possibility of the lack of technological savviness).
We met through my friend, Nikita. She knows how to network when she is in a new place. She always struck me as someone who could never be lonely because she isn’t afraid to put herself out there and make friends. Her new friend Mohinder had invited her out for drinks and told her that another one of his coworkers would be coming along. I was not very excited about it at the time. I felt a little like I would be on a blind double date. However, on the other hand, I figured it could be nice to meet some career-minded people; a refreshing change from the college-age English teachers who are really only here to drink, party, and travel. Eric showed up before Mohinder. When he walked in, I was suddenly very cool with this pseudo blind date. He was very good looking, tall, and built. After Mohinder arrived, we were well into good conversation. I was shocked to find such a good looking guy that was down to earth and funny. Not many men can take my off-kilter humor and sarcasm. He held his own, which of course made me lay it on thicker. By the end of the night we were sitting in the corner and making cracks about the crazy people who come out of the woodwork at a certain hour in Korea. Even though they live on the other side of town, they insisted on having the cab driver drop us off at our place before they made the long drive back to theirs. At that, I decided that maybe chivalry was not dead after all.
Here I was, three weeks later, actually getting excited about a boy again. After thinking that I might be dead inside, I was feeling hope that I may not end up as the crazy old cat lady. I gave myself a lot of time to get ready, realizing how unnecessary it was since Eric was over an hour and a half late. At this point, my excitement was fizzling. When someone is late, it means to me, they just aren’t that into it. However, when Eric showed up with one rose and a great apology, I was back to excitement. He didn’t have a plan, so I took him to one of my favorite cafes. We then went on to dinner and some wine. He was a perfect gentleman, he opened doors, listened attentively, and never tried anything. I thought, “This is how a date should be, no assumptions that the girl is going to kiss you.” I came home feeling that wonderful elated feeling you get from first dates.
A few dates later, I decided I would take him on a picnic at the Han River. I made a whole spread, packed it up and met him there. Another wonderful evening of great conversation; I was smiling and laughing until my face hurt. We go on a long walk around the river and I decided to be bold. We had been flirting and hand holding for 5 dates now, at first I thought it was honorable and gallant; but now, I was starting to think he just wasn’t that into me. Before I let my girlish behavior kick in and started obsessing about a hair that may be out of place or smudged make up, I asked, “Eric, you like me, don’t you?”
“Of course!” he replied.
“Then, why haven’t you tried to kiss me?”
“You haven’t asked the right question.” He said back to me with a big smile on his face as if to entice me into solving his mystery.
“Are you married?” I said jokingly, actually what I really wanted to ask is if he was interested in men.
“No, but you are close.”
Close? What does that mean? Thoughts are running through my head at what terrible mystery I would solve if I kept on asking. I stood there with a blank look on my face running through possible scenarios.
“I have a girlfriend in San Francisco.” He said... well, it could have been worse...
He goes on to explain that they have an open relationship, but all he is comfortable with is hand holding and flirting. He was afraid that if he told me from the beginning that I wouldn’t want to date him. There goes nobility.
“That is very selfish of you.” I said to him.
“I can see how you think that now, but I think you will change your mind after you think about it for a while” He responded. There goes honorable. “I would like to continue with the flirting and handholding, but I understand if you do not.” He said in a way that made me think he had practiced saying it because he thought it sounded incredibly mature and suave.
I had already began steering us to the exit. I had to make my escape. Could this really be happening? Just when I start to think that all men aren’t dogs, they start barking louder and louder.
Well, I can’t say it was a dating disaster, not at first anyway. The first date was one that I didn’t want to end. Eric texted me 3 weeks after we first met, right about the time I was thinking he wasn’t really interested. His text just said “ARE YOU AVAILABLE THIS WEEKEND”. All in caps, which told me he either was too lazy to figure out how to write in lower case or he wasn’t very savvy technologically. I, of course, had plans made for the weekend. I decided that I could cancel my Sunday movie night with my friend Al just this once. I really liked Eric, after all. Unlike most of the ‘western’ men in Korea, he had a real job. He works for one of the world’s largest electronic companies as a financial consultant (ruling out the possibility of the lack of technological savviness).
We met through my friend, Nikita. She knows how to network when she is in a new place. She always struck me as someone who could never be lonely because she isn’t afraid to put herself out there and make friends. Her new friend Mohinder had invited her out for drinks and told her that another one of his coworkers would be coming along. I was not very excited about it at the time. I felt a little like I would be on a blind double date. However, on the other hand, I figured it could be nice to meet some career-minded people; a refreshing change from the college-age English teachers who are really only here to drink, party, and travel. Eric showed up before Mohinder. When he walked in, I was suddenly very cool with this pseudo blind date. He was very good looking, tall, and built. After Mohinder arrived, we were well into good conversation. I was shocked to find such a good looking guy that was down to earth and funny. Not many men can take my off-kilter humor and sarcasm. He held his own, which of course made me lay it on thicker. By the end of the night we were sitting in the corner and making cracks about the crazy people who come out of the woodwork at a certain hour in Korea. Even though they live on the other side of town, they insisted on having the cab driver drop us off at our place before they made the long drive back to theirs. At that, I decided that maybe chivalry was not dead after all.
Here I was, three weeks later, actually getting excited about a boy again. After thinking that I might be dead inside, I was feeling hope that I may not end up as the crazy old cat lady. I gave myself a lot of time to get ready, realizing how unnecessary it was since Eric was over an hour and a half late. At this point, my excitement was fizzling. When someone is late, it means to me, they just aren’t that into it. However, when Eric showed up with one rose and a great apology, I was back to excitement. He didn’t have a plan, so I took him to one of my favorite cafes. We then went on to dinner and some wine. He was a perfect gentleman, he opened doors, listened attentively, and never tried anything. I thought, “This is how a date should be, no assumptions that the girl is going to kiss you.” I came home feeling that wonderful elated feeling you get from first dates.
A few dates later, I decided I would take him on a picnic at the Han River. I made a whole spread, packed it up and met him there. Another wonderful evening of great conversation; I was smiling and laughing until my face hurt. We go on a long walk around the river and I decided to be bold. We had been flirting and hand holding for 5 dates now, at first I thought it was honorable and gallant; but now, I was starting to think he just wasn’t that into me. Before I let my girlish behavior kick in and started obsessing about a hair that may be out of place or smudged make up, I asked, “Eric, you like me, don’t you?”
“Of course!” he replied.
“Then, why haven’t you tried to kiss me?”
“You haven’t asked the right question.” He said back to me with a big smile on his face as if to entice me into solving his mystery.
“Are you married?” I said jokingly, actually what I really wanted to ask is if he was interested in men.
“No, but you are close.”
Close? What does that mean? Thoughts are running through my head at what terrible mystery I would solve if I kept on asking. I stood there with a blank look on my face running through possible scenarios.
“I have a girlfriend in San Francisco.” He said... well, it could have been worse...
He goes on to explain that they have an open relationship, but all he is comfortable with is hand holding and flirting. He was afraid that if he told me from the beginning that I wouldn’t want to date him. There goes nobility.
“That is very selfish of you.” I said to him.
“I can see how you think that now, but I think you will change your mind after you think about it for a while” He responded. There goes honorable. “I would like to continue with the flirting and handholding, but I understand if you do not.” He said in a way that made me think he had practiced saying it because he thought it sounded incredibly mature and suave.
I had already began steering us to the exit. I had to make my escape. Could this really be happening? Just when I start to think that all men aren’t dogs, they start barking louder and louder.