This was actually meant to be a kink meme fill, but it turned out too much me
Title: Kuckuckskind
Author: traumschwinge
Characters: Hungary, Austria, Chibitalia, Holy Roman Empire
Wordcount: 2568
Rating: T
Warnings: pretty much psychological stress, AU
Summary: Roderich had made her run a paternity test for their son. After the result arrives, Elizabeta is worried nearly sick.
A/N: Inspired by this prompt on the aph kinkmeme, but not considered a fill. It's just too dark and depressing and a bit personal.
A/N2: I named Holy Roman Empire Roman, just because I couldn't name him Ludwig. And because I really lack originality sometimes.
Elizabetha had dreaded this moment. She was in the kitchen preparing dinner when she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway to the garage. Her heart sped up a bit. She was so nervous. The last few weeks had been so horrible when he had been nagging her about the time around ten months before their son’s birth.
Their relationship had been in a crisis back then, they had been fighting a lot and both had cheated on one another with more than one other person. But then she’d become pregnant and everything changed.
He did start caring about her again, took care of her and the yet unborn child and even managed to get them a homely old house instead of the two bedrooms flat they’d been living in before. To her, the child had saved their relationship.
Back then, she almost given him up, despite the fact that she had still been in love with him.
Looking back, she was close to feeling like the inability to beat him a child had been the only reason for them to fight. For the past six years, things had been looking up. The time had gone by so fast and happy for both of them all. They had managed to turn that old house into their family home, eventually modernizing it bit by bit. Their child had been born as a strong and healthy boy who was growing like weed. They even had a second child, Elizabetha’s darling little daughter who she let help her do anything in the household as much as the little girl wanted.
The only thing she couldn’t quite get used to was that she had become a housewife, taking care of their children and the house and never met any people beside other moms. She would have liked to go back to work but had given in to her husband’s point of view that as long as they didn’t need the money she would stay at home and be there for their children. The two were the sun of her life, both her little brown haired girl and their blonde son.
But it seemed like the fact that their son had blonde hair had been bugging her husband a lot. Both of them were brown haired themselves and that she had been sleeping with other men before she had gotten pregnant didn’t help him believe. She had finally told him that she couldn’t be sure that he really was the father. She could only narrow it down to him and one other guy. So he had sulked a few days. She had tried her best not to let their children know. Until now it had worked. But her husband had asked her to test his paternity of their son. He’d said it didn’t matter but he just wanted to know. She didn’t believe him for one second. If it wouldn’t matter, he wouldn’t have to know.
And today she had received the results. When she had read the letter stating that the testing had been negative - that her son was not her husband’s -, she had felt like someone pulled the floor away from under her feet. She was so afraid to tell her husband. She was so afraid he would leave her and the children because of that. He had said he wouldn’t but she had so much trouble believing him there. She just didn’t want to lose her life as it was now and she especially didn’t want her children to lose their father. Not like that, not because she had been so stupid six years ago.
She turned off the heat. Dinner had been ready for a while anyways and she just kept it warm like that. “Come on, let’s go greet daddy,” she told her daughter. She even forced herself to smile. “Wait, have you washed your hands?” Feliciana turned around, halfway to the door, raised her little hands and showed them to her mother. Elizabetha smiled. “Alright, off you go,” she chuckled, following her much slower to the door.
When she reached the front door, it was wide open and her husband was cuddling their daughter. Judging by how it looked to her, the little girl had tackled his leg as soon as he had opened the door. She giggled. “Welcome home,” she said as she leaned down to kiss him welcome. “How has your day been?” She took his briefcase and put it into his office.
When she returned to the kitchen, Roderich was sitting at the table, playing with Feliciana. She could be imagining things but he looked tired. Suddenly, it gnawed at her conscience. Maybe he had slept just as bad as her during the last nights. She walked over to him, watching her daughter bouncing around on his lap, trying to get her dad to play more enthusiastic with her. As she stroked over his shoulders, she could feel how tense his muscles were there.
“Did any letters arrive today?” Roderich asked. He didn’t even turn around to look at her when he said that. With a sigh, he put Feliciana down. “Go get your brother, dinner’s ready,” he told her. As she hurried away, he stood up and walked over to Elizabetha. He smiled but it failed to reach his eyes. “The-they called me,” he whispered. For a second it seemed to her like he wanted to hug her.
“So, you know the result…?” Her voice was merely a whisper. She was so afraid. Telling him that she was afraid of him leaving them was not an option, though.
He nodded. His lips had become a thin, almost white line. "So, Roman really is..." Roderich said slowly. She couldn't do anything but nod. She didn't trust her voice anymore. There was a growing lump inside her throat which definitely would silence her if she dared to answer him.
"Where... Where's the letter?" he asked, looking around. She simply pointed at the counter where she'd put it. She didn't watch him read it. All she could think about were the tears that had dropped on the letter when she had read it herself. After a long while of silence, she heard the rustling of paper. He turned towards her, but with her head downcast he couldn't look her in the eye.
"Eli..." he started but was interrupted by the kids bustling into the kitchen.
"Mommy, mommy, I got Roman. Can we eat now? I'm so hungry!" Feliciana cried as she bounced around her parents. Roman just stood at the door and watched the adults. "Sorry for the interruption," he mumbled.
Elizabetha smiled at him as she picked up Feliciana. "You didn't interrupt anything. We were just about to get the table set. Right?" For only a minute, she looked at her husband. He nodded.
Five minutes later, the table was set and they were all seated. Elizabetha didn't dare to talk about the letter in front of her children. She was glad Roderich seemed to agree on that since he didn't bring it up. Instead, he asked the children about their day. He even smiled a bit when Feliciana told him how she cleaned her room all by herself after getting it dirty drawing.
Roman didn't talk much. Nothing unusual with that, but Elizabetha got the impression, he felt that his parents were, well, upset because of him. That her husband tried a little to talk with him didn't help much either.
When he had emptied his plate - which hadn’t really been full to start with - Roman carefully placed his cutlery next to it and stood up. “Night,” he mumbled, before he walked away.
“Wait for me,” Feliciana cried after her brother. She tried to stuff as much food into her little mouth as possible. Then she rushed after him. Elizabetha sighed. She got up and started to put the children’s plates together. Suddenly, she wasn’t hungry at all anymore.
"Eli," she heard her husband sigh behind her. She didn't dare to look at him. The mood between them was so bad she felt horrible. She just didn't want to have to look him in the eye. There was nothing she could possibly say. Or at least, nothing she wanted answered.
She heard him get up and walk towards her. When he touched her shoulders, she had a hard time not to immediately shake him off. "Do you want me to look for him?" he whispered. It took her some moments to realize he was talking about Roman.
She nodded. She wasn't sure if she really wanted him to. But she didn't want him to stay right now. She was so close to crying she needed time to herself. Besides, Roman had indeed looked like he would need some consoling if you know what signs you had to look for.
He kissed her cheek. "Wait for me in the bedroom," he said. "I fear we need to talk." He didn't sound happy but she wasn't sure whether he was angry with her or if it was something else. If she had to she would even said he sounded sad.
After he had left, she cleaned the table and the rest of the kitchen. She needed her hands busy, she didn't want to be alone and thinking. There was so much to think about right now but nothing she could do about any of them on her own.
When finally there wasn't anything left she could possibly do she took a bottle of wine and two glasses with her to their bedroom. If he wanted to talk, they would need something to drink. Right now she regretted not having anything stronger. She felt like she would need it.
She entered the empty, dark bedroom. She could hear the voice of her husband form their son's bedroom but she couldn't make out any words. She placed the wine and the glasses on the nightstand. She decided to go see if Feliciana was already in bed.
Of course, she was but she wasn't sleeping yet. Elizabetha sat down on the bed. She stroke through the little girl's hair.
"Can't you sleep, hunny?" she asked softly.
Feliciana shook her head. "I can't. Everyone's troubled. Even Roman. What's wrong? I want to know, too."
Elizabetha smiled. "Don't worry," she said still stroking her. "Mommy and daddy just had a bad day. Tomorrow everything will be alright, okay?" She kissed her forehead. "So hurry up and sleep to make tomorrow come faster."
Feliciana nodded. She yawned. Elizabetha could tell she was really tired. She hugged the little girl tight and kissed her cheeks. "Good night," she whispered as she turned of the light and left.
She gulped when she saw that the light in their bedroom was on. Suddenly, she wasn’t ready to talk to him anymore. There was so much that could go wrong no matter how hard they tried to keep it civil. The only outcome she could think of right now was that they would get divorced, one way or another.
After mustering about all the courage she had left, she entered the bedroom. Her husband was standing there with his back to the door changing into his pajamas. The wineglasses on each nightstand were full and waiting for them. When he heard her entering, he turned round. He looked concerned to her but that was maybe just general anxiety. So most likely didn’t look any better.
Since he didn’t seem inclined to start talking just know, she started to change as well. He sat down on the bed on his side and waited for her in silence. Just when she had finally gotten into bed, he cleared his throat.
“I’m not mad at you, you know,” he whispered.
“But what if I am,” she sighed. “And I would be pretty mad if I were you.”
“May I…?” he murmured before he put his arm around her. “I just feel better when we’re talking like this. It makes this feel less like we’re breaking up.”
She held her breath for a moment. “…You don’t want to get divorced?” she finally said.
He shook his head. “Why would I?” he sighed. “I promised to stay true to you. And it’s my responsibility to take care of you and the children, isn’t it? Well, and…” He shifted uneasily.
“And what?” Now she was curious.
He shook his head. “Nothing,” he sighed.
They sat there for a while in silence. Elizabetha knew when not to push her husband too much and this was just one of those occasions. He seemed not ready to tell her and after a while, she started feeling uneasy with the silence.
“So, you’re not mad at me that he isn’t your son, right?” She did want to say him this out loud so bad right now. He had signaled this before, but it was hard to believe for her without him saying it. “Why?”
Her husband took a deep breath and took a few moments before he answered: “Well, I … see, I had weeks, if not even years to think this though. And … I came to the conclusion he is my son, no matter what.” He paused. “Well, okay, he is, as long as you let me be his father.”
She nodded, speechlessly.
“So, it doesn’t matter to me who his biological father is, but that didn’t change the feeling that he might, just might, be my son after all. Biological speaking.” He sighed. “Well, he could have been! The chances were there… I think…”
Again, she nodded. This at least answered one of her nagging questions. She kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
He chuckled. “It’s my fault as much as yours, I think,” he said. “We weren’t really together anymore back then, don’t you think so?” There was a sad smile on his lips. “Let’s face it we just didn’t have the courage to break up. And then you told me you were pregnant and asked me if I wanted to raise the child with you, like a family. And …” He shrugged. “It just seemed too good to be true. A fresh start with you and then even as a family… I didn’t dare to question it back then.” After a short sigh, he added: “Maybe I was afraid a bit that I was just to only guy dumb enough to say yes, but … I really wanted to be a husband and father. And I still do.”
He took her hand and squeezed it.
For a moment, she closed her eyes. She leaned against his shoulder and returned the squeeze. This was her place, she could feel it. It was the only place she wanted to be, by his side. She hadn't always felt like it but she felt like it now. And still, she needed time to think about what he just said.
She opened her eyes. "I need time, I guess," she sighed. "But I do love you, so it's going to be alright. We will be fine.
His face, frozen for a second, turned into a smile. "We will be fine," he agreed.
She hugged him close. Yes, they would be fine.
Struck with a sudden thought, she pulled away again. "Wait, should we tell Ludwig about his son?"
Her husband shrugged. "Only if Roman asks, I'd say. Tonight, he didn't want to know."
Author: traumschwinge
Characters: Hungary, Austria, Chibitalia, Holy Roman Empire
Wordcount: 2568
Rating: T
Warnings: pretty much psychological stress, AU
Summary: Roderich had made her run a paternity test for their son. After the result arrives, Elizabeta is worried nearly sick.
A/N: Inspired by this prompt on the aph kinkmeme, but not considered a fill. It's just too dark and depressing and a bit personal.
A/N2: I named Holy Roman Empire Roman, just because I couldn't name him Ludwig. And because I really lack originality sometimes.
Elizabetha had dreaded this moment. She was in the kitchen preparing dinner when she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway to the garage. Her heart sped up a bit. She was so nervous. The last few weeks had been so horrible when he had been nagging her about the time around ten months before their son’s birth.
Their relationship had been in a crisis back then, they had been fighting a lot and both had cheated on one another with more than one other person. But then she’d become pregnant and everything changed.
He did start caring about her again, took care of her and the yet unborn child and even managed to get them a homely old house instead of the two bedrooms flat they’d been living in before. To her, the child had saved their relationship.
Back then, she almost given him up, despite the fact that she had still been in love with him.
Looking back, she was close to feeling like the inability to beat him a child had been the only reason for them to fight. For the past six years, things had been looking up. The time had gone by so fast and happy for both of them all. They had managed to turn that old house into their family home, eventually modernizing it bit by bit. Their child had been born as a strong and healthy boy who was growing like weed. They even had a second child, Elizabetha’s darling little daughter who she let help her do anything in the household as much as the little girl wanted.
The only thing she couldn’t quite get used to was that she had become a housewife, taking care of their children and the house and never met any people beside other moms. She would have liked to go back to work but had given in to her husband’s point of view that as long as they didn’t need the money she would stay at home and be there for their children. The two were the sun of her life, both her little brown haired girl and their blonde son.
But it seemed like the fact that their son had blonde hair had been bugging her husband a lot. Both of them were brown haired themselves and that she had been sleeping with other men before she had gotten pregnant didn’t help him believe. She had finally told him that she couldn’t be sure that he really was the father. She could only narrow it down to him and one other guy. So he had sulked a few days. She had tried her best not to let their children know. Until now it had worked. But her husband had asked her to test his paternity of their son. He’d said it didn’t matter but he just wanted to know. She didn’t believe him for one second. If it wouldn’t matter, he wouldn’t have to know.
And today she had received the results. When she had read the letter stating that the testing had been negative - that her son was not her husband’s -, she had felt like someone pulled the floor away from under her feet. She was so afraid to tell her husband. She was so afraid he would leave her and the children because of that. He had said he wouldn’t but she had so much trouble believing him there. She just didn’t want to lose her life as it was now and she especially didn’t want her children to lose their father. Not like that, not because she had been so stupid six years ago.
She turned off the heat. Dinner had been ready for a while anyways and she just kept it warm like that. “Come on, let’s go greet daddy,” she told her daughter. She even forced herself to smile. “Wait, have you washed your hands?” Feliciana turned around, halfway to the door, raised her little hands and showed them to her mother. Elizabetha smiled. “Alright, off you go,” she chuckled, following her much slower to the door.
When she reached the front door, it was wide open and her husband was cuddling their daughter. Judging by how it looked to her, the little girl had tackled his leg as soon as he had opened the door. She giggled. “Welcome home,” she said as she leaned down to kiss him welcome. “How has your day been?” She took his briefcase and put it into his office.
When she returned to the kitchen, Roderich was sitting at the table, playing with Feliciana. She could be imagining things but he looked tired. Suddenly, it gnawed at her conscience. Maybe he had slept just as bad as her during the last nights. She walked over to him, watching her daughter bouncing around on his lap, trying to get her dad to play more enthusiastic with her. As she stroked over his shoulders, she could feel how tense his muscles were there.
“Did any letters arrive today?” Roderich asked. He didn’t even turn around to look at her when he said that. With a sigh, he put Feliciana down. “Go get your brother, dinner’s ready,” he told her. As she hurried away, he stood up and walked over to Elizabetha. He smiled but it failed to reach his eyes. “The-they called me,” he whispered. For a second it seemed to her like he wanted to hug her.
“So, you know the result…?” Her voice was merely a whisper. She was so afraid. Telling him that she was afraid of him leaving them was not an option, though.
He nodded. His lips had become a thin, almost white line. "So, Roman really is..." Roderich said slowly. She couldn't do anything but nod. She didn't trust her voice anymore. There was a growing lump inside her throat which definitely would silence her if she dared to answer him.
"Where... Where's the letter?" he asked, looking around. She simply pointed at the counter where she'd put it. She didn't watch him read it. All she could think about were the tears that had dropped on the letter when she had read it herself. After a long while of silence, she heard the rustling of paper. He turned towards her, but with her head downcast he couldn't look her in the eye.
"Eli..." he started but was interrupted by the kids bustling into the kitchen.
"Mommy, mommy, I got Roman. Can we eat now? I'm so hungry!" Feliciana cried as she bounced around her parents. Roman just stood at the door and watched the adults. "Sorry for the interruption," he mumbled.
Elizabetha smiled at him as she picked up Feliciana. "You didn't interrupt anything. We were just about to get the table set. Right?" For only a minute, she looked at her husband. He nodded.
Five minutes later, the table was set and they were all seated. Elizabetha didn't dare to talk about the letter in front of her children. She was glad Roderich seemed to agree on that since he didn't bring it up. Instead, he asked the children about their day. He even smiled a bit when Feliciana told him how she cleaned her room all by herself after getting it dirty drawing.
Roman didn't talk much. Nothing unusual with that, but Elizabetha got the impression, he felt that his parents were, well, upset because of him. That her husband tried a little to talk with him didn't help much either.
When he had emptied his plate - which hadn’t really been full to start with - Roman carefully placed his cutlery next to it and stood up. “Night,” he mumbled, before he walked away.
“Wait for me,” Feliciana cried after her brother. She tried to stuff as much food into her little mouth as possible. Then she rushed after him. Elizabetha sighed. She got up and started to put the children’s plates together. Suddenly, she wasn’t hungry at all anymore.
"Eli," she heard her husband sigh behind her. She didn't dare to look at him. The mood between them was so bad she felt horrible. She just didn't want to have to look him in the eye. There was nothing she could possibly say. Or at least, nothing she wanted answered.
She heard him get up and walk towards her. When he touched her shoulders, she had a hard time not to immediately shake him off. "Do you want me to look for him?" he whispered. It took her some moments to realize he was talking about Roman.
She nodded. She wasn't sure if she really wanted him to. But she didn't want him to stay right now. She was so close to crying she needed time to herself. Besides, Roman had indeed looked like he would need some consoling if you know what signs you had to look for.
He kissed her cheek. "Wait for me in the bedroom," he said. "I fear we need to talk." He didn't sound happy but she wasn't sure whether he was angry with her or if it was something else. If she had to she would even said he sounded sad.
After he had left, she cleaned the table and the rest of the kitchen. She needed her hands busy, she didn't want to be alone and thinking. There was so much to think about right now but nothing she could do about any of them on her own.
When finally there wasn't anything left she could possibly do she took a bottle of wine and two glasses with her to their bedroom. If he wanted to talk, they would need something to drink. Right now she regretted not having anything stronger. She felt like she would need it.
She entered the empty, dark bedroom. She could hear the voice of her husband form their son's bedroom but she couldn't make out any words. She placed the wine and the glasses on the nightstand. She decided to go see if Feliciana was already in bed.
Of course, she was but she wasn't sleeping yet. Elizabetha sat down on the bed. She stroke through the little girl's hair.
"Can't you sleep, hunny?" she asked softly.
Feliciana shook her head. "I can't. Everyone's troubled. Even Roman. What's wrong? I want to know, too."
Elizabetha smiled. "Don't worry," she said still stroking her. "Mommy and daddy just had a bad day. Tomorrow everything will be alright, okay?" She kissed her forehead. "So hurry up and sleep to make tomorrow come faster."
Feliciana nodded. She yawned. Elizabetha could tell she was really tired. She hugged the little girl tight and kissed her cheeks. "Good night," she whispered as she turned of the light and left.
She gulped when she saw that the light in their bedroom was on. Suddenly, she wasn’t ready to talk to him anymore. There was so much that could go wrong no matter how hard they tried to keep it civil. The only outcome she could think of right now was that they would get divorced, one way or another.
After mustering about all the courage she had left, she entered the bedroom. Her husband was standing there with his back to the door changing into his pajamas. The wineglasses on each nightstand were full and waiting for them. When he heard her entering, he turned round. He looked concerned to her but that was maybe just general anxiety. So most likely didn’t look any better.
Since he didn’t seem inclined to start talking just know, she started to change as well. He sat down on the bed on his side and waited for her in silence. Just when she had finally gotten into bed, he cleared his throat.
“I’m not mad at you, you know,” he whispered.
“But what if I am,” she sighed. “And I would be pretty mad if I were you.”
“May I…?” he murmured before he put his arm around her. “I just feel better when we’re talking like this. It makes this feel less like we’re breaking up.”
She held her breath for a moment. “…You don’t want to get divorced?” she finally said.
He shook his head. “Why would I?” he sighed. “I promised to stay true to you. And it’s my responsibility to take care of you and the children, isn’t it? Well, and…” He shifted uneasily.
“And what?” Now she was curious.
He shook his head. “Nothing,” he sighed.
They sat there for a while in silence. Elizabetha knew when not to push her husband too much and this was just one of those occasions. He seemed not ready to tell her and after a while, she started feeling uneasy with the silence.
“So, you’re not mad at me that he isn’t your son, right?” She did want to say him this out loud so bad right now. He had signaled this before, but it was hard to believe for her without him saying it. “Why?”
Her husband took a deep breath and took a few moments before he answered: “Well, I … see, I had weeks, if not even years to think this though. And … I came to the conclusion he is my son, no matter what.” He paused. “Well, okay, he is, as long as you let me be his father.”
She nodded, speechlessly.
“So, it doesn’t matter to me who his biological father is, but that didn’t change the feeling that he might, just might, be my son after all. Biological speaking.” He sighed. “Well, he could have been! The chances were there… I think…”
Again, she nodded. This at least answered one of her nagging questions. She kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
He chuckled. “It’s my fault as much as yours, I think,” he said. “We weren’t really together anymore back then, don’t you think so?” There was a sad smile on his lips. “Let’s face it we just didn’t have the courage to break up. And then you told me you were pregnant and asked me if I wanted to raise the child with you, like a family. And …” He shrugged. “It just seemed too good to be true. A fresh start with you and then even as a family… I didn’t dare to question it back then.” After a short sigh, he added: “Maybe I was afraid a bit that I was just to only guy dumb enough to say yes, but … I really wanted to be a husband and father. And I still do.”
He took her hand and squeezed it.
For a moment, she closed her eyes. She leaned against his shoulder and returned the squeeze. This was her place, she could feel it. It was the only place she wanted to be, by his side. She hadn't always felt like it but she felt like it now. And still, she needed time to think about what he just said.
She opened her eyes. "I need time, I guess," she sighed. "But I do love you, so it's going to be alright. We will be fine.
His face, frozen for a second, turned into a smile. "We will be fine," he agreed.
She hugged him close. Yes, they would be fine.
Struck with a sudden thought, she pulled away again. "Wait, should we tell Ludwig about his son?"
Her husband shrugged. "Only if Roman asks, I'd say. Tonight, he didn't want to know."