Stuffs
Well it's ben a while again. School is finally out. SUMMER TIME! Lots and Lots of work. I'm cutting a lot of lawns and making that big money. Still don't know what I'm gonna do with $1,000 dollars a month. Figure I would just put it in my bank account. Spend a little on something for me maybe. Anyways, I want to party big time. But I have no time. Which sux. I guess I'm left with the weekend. But I have to find a new croud to party with. Sid and justin are holding me back. And, I need a girl. But that's another story that I don't think I'm gonna get into today. Things have always been wierd during summer. I guess I live to get out of school to work or lay around. This summer I'm gonna make time to hang out with my friends though. I have tomorrow off and I want to hang out with Nance or Cait and Sunny. Maybe even Chris or Tim. We will see who I like best and who likes me. Nancy and I haven't talked much and I'm starting not to care anymore. I know that sounds bad but let me explain. I worry about her when she does things. And she told me something one day and I just didn't really worry about it. She's a grown girl. She is smart too. She will be careful. So I don't worry anymore. I don't not care that we don't talk. I do care. I miss our late night talks about everything. And I hung out with her one day. It was really fun. We talked all day about everything. I want to do that again. Then there is Caitlin and Sunny. I want to hang out with them. Caitlin I can be so open with. It's wierd because it's like Nance but different. She can read my feelings and knows how I feel. Nance still knows me best though. We, I think have more in common. Sunny is just a wacko. She is def. a kool person to talk to. She can always make me laugh. No offense to Tim, but I think he's a fruit. LoL He shows signs of being gay maybe or bi. I'm not sure. I am not going to judge though. He's kool as long as he doesn't go for my pants or anything. Chris is really cool. We always find a way to possibly get into trouble but never do. Well we did once but that was it. I was suppose togo on trips this summer around the U.S. But I decided that I would only go on a couple and save my money for better things like a drumset or golf stuff. Yea that's right I play golf. It free's my mind for a while. Let's me escape from all the drama of my life.
I have been listening to yellowcard and thursday and dream theater a lot. Mostly yellowcard though. I like the song believe. Good music makes me think about a lot of things. Makes me feel better and forget the nosense and stupid things I do. Because I can act wierd and say things and feel things that are just immature. I wish I would grow out of them. The past week or so I have been able to learn a lot bout myself. Look through my own eyes and really se who I am. And I'm a good person. Wierd at times and pretty deep but I'm not so bad. I need to focus on myself and get some things straight in my life. I still want to be there for my friends. I am going to tell you what I've found out about myself. Myself is someone who really feels. I care about a lot of things and people and also about things I shouldn't. I love a lot. I'm pretty organized although you couldn't tell by the way my room looks. I like clean crisp things and have a taste for the odd, crazy, freaky things. But I am still pretty normal of a guy. I value my friends because without them I would be very plain. I have no real style of clothing or music I listen to. I am who I am and that is a lot of things. I don't like to categorize people or judge and I am very outgoing when it comes to lifestyle. I like black things. I can be dark and see the light. I am religious. I know god. HE among others have made me a better person and changed my life for the better. I am sensitive about what people say to me or about me. I try not to though. I try to help others who need it and ask. I try to make everything better. I have tried to live with no regrets but that has been hard since I do have some. I don't really care about what someone looks like unless it's really disgusting. I try not to hurt people but I am sometimes blind as to what I do and don't think before I act. I have been told before that I am very dense. I care about my looks and how I act around certain people. I like to be on peoples good side and not fight. Fighting is bad. Arguing is something I hate. Name calling is something I also hate. I love music and I am ready to devote my life to it but I have started late and don't think I can proseed with my plan for my life until I bring them up. How I proform in my day to day life is dependant on my attitude and what's going on. If I am in a fight or argument with someone I will not be good. I am very sensitive and hate it sometimes. I get mad and and begin to hate myself. It subsides eventually. I could go on and on.
I have found that I hurt a lot. I feel hurt by the littlest things and it makes me mad. I get jealous a lot. When someone does something I want to do or ..... well I am not going to say what I was going to because I am afraid of it. But, I get jealous at that. There is something I need to let out. Something I need to say. But I will only give a little description. I want to do something with someone but it's not possible. I don't know if it ever will be. But it kills me inside. That will be all.
I don't like being alone. I love company and being around people. I think I might move to NY. I LOVE NY. I think I will stop for now. Maybe I will write some later. LATA
I have been listening to yellowcard and thursday and dream theater a lot. Mostly yellowcard though. I like the song believe. Good music makes me think about a lot of things. Makes me feel better and forget the nosense and stupid things I do. Because I can act wierd and say things and feel things that are just immature. I wish I would grow out of them. The past week or so I have been able to learn a lot bout myself. Look through my own eyes and really se who I am. And I'm a good person. Wierd at times and pretty deep but I'm not so bad. I need to focus on myself and get some things straight in my life. I still want to be there for my friends. I am going to tell you what I've found out about myself. Myself is someone who really feels. I care about a lot of things and people and also about things I shouldn't. I love a lot. I'm pretty organized although you couldn't tell by the way my room looks. I like clean crisp things and have a taste for the odd, crazy, freaky things. But I am still pretty normal of a guy. I value my friends because without them I would be very plain. I have no real style of clothing or music I listen to. I am who I am and that is a lot of things. I don't like to categorize people or judge and I am very outgoing when it comes to lifestyle. I like black things. I can be dark and see the light. I am religious. I know god. HE among others have made me a better person and changed my life for the better. I am sensitive about what people say to me or about me. I try not to though. I try to help others who need it and ask. I try to make everything better. I have tried to live with no regrets but that has been hard since I do have some. I don't really care about what someone looks like unless it's really disgusting. I try not to hurt people but I am sometimes blind as to what I do and don't think before I act. I have been told before that I am very dense. I care about my looks and how I act around certain people. I like to be on peoples good side and not fight. Fighting is bad. Arguing is something I hate. Name calling is something I also hate. I love music and I am ready to devote my life to it but I have started late and don't think I can proseed with my plan for my life until I bring them up. How I proform in my day to day life is dependant on my attitude and what's going on. If I am in a fight or argument with someone I will not be good. I am very sensitive and hate it sometimes. I get mad and and begin to hate myself. It subsides eventually. I could go on and on.
I have found that I hurt a lot. I feel hurt by the littlest things and it makes me mad. I get jealous a lot. When someone does something I want to do or ..... well I am not going to say what I was going to because I am afraid of it. But, I get jealous at that. There is something I need to let out. Something I need to say. But I will only give a little description. I want to do something with someone but it's not possible. I don't know if it ever will be. But it kills me inside. That will be all.
I don't like being alone. I love company and being around people. I think I might move to NY. I LOVE NY. I think I will stop for now. Maybe I will write some later. LATA