(no subject)
so heres my story
i never was able to get my license at 16 because i got kicked out of school in 9th grade and couldnt go back without a years worth of anger management, which i was never able to afford nor did i have trasnportation provided for this because my dad works full time and my mother is a full time lazy person who refuses to drive even if im bleeding everywhere and about to die.
florida says if you are a minor and not attending some sort of school, you are not allowed to get your license or permit until you are 18 years of age.
They promised me since i had to wait ssoooo long, that i will have a car waiting for me on my birthday, no matter what it takes.
Last month, they bought my sister a brand new car as long as she promised to follow up payments, although my uncle was working on her car my mother also gave her after she fucked up the other one my mom gave her before that. I questioned their actions, considering my birthday was coming up and they knew they had to be prepared for this, they have known for the past 3 years, actually, they have known for the past 18 years that they would one day have to buy me my first car. They didnt consider this when they handed the man that cash and made her first car payment. Well
my birthday is in 6 days
i find out, my uncle JUST started actually trying to fix this car
i dont see this car running in the next 3 weeks, let alone 6 fucking days.
they fucking PROMISED me
SWORE ON EACHOTHERS FUCKING GRAVES that on my 18th birthday, my suffering would end.
no.
i dont fucking see that happening
i see me having to fucking either wait for even longer
or having to borrow my mothers car(which i wont be able to drive out of town, although everything is located OUT OF TOWN) and find a job, and save up money to buy one for my fucking self. and finding a job is fucking work itself considering i have no prior experience, and have only had one job my entire life because of this lack of transportation. and on top of that, according to the work industrym, i am "heavily modded" and would be a distraction to any customers or what the fuck ever.
both of my sisters have each had more than 6 cars handed to them EACH, free of charge, free of stress, to this fucking day they still get fucking cars handed to them like its nothing and they are both more than fucking capable of acquiring one themselves. Unlike me, not having a license or a permit for that matter, no possible fucking way to go out and find a job, no one ever wants to give me a ride anywhere, i cant even recall the last time someone gave me a fucking ride to anywhere exept the god damn post office which is even a fucking struggle on its own because no one cares, period. ive waited for 3 fucking years, sitting in my god damned room counting down the fucking years months until it is now days away from me being able to finally experience what its like on the outside world.
fuck this. i cannot believe my 18th birthday is going to be shit.
im going to have a fucking license
and no god damn fucking use for it.
after waiting for so fucking long, i would think that my patience and suffering would treat me well in the end. haaaaaaah!
i hope my parents realize how fucking fucked up this is. they bend over for my sisters, but as soon as i wanna stick it in too, they all of a sudden dont like anal anymore.
not fucking fair. they have had 3 fucking years to prepare for this
3 fucking years dude.
and look, nothing.
this has been the worst month ever.
every year i always fucking hate my birthdays, because i never get gifts, nor do i get a fucking cake or a sweet party and no one ever calls to acknowledge it either. Like my sweet 16, when i sat in my room by myself from the time i woke up until the time i went to bed fucking crying because i was fucking LONELY on my a day that every other girl is living it up like a fucking princess. i wanna be a fucking princess too damnit.
you know, shit like this is what makes me a fucking cold person. shit like this is why i continue to have a bad fucking temper, and is why i continue to act like a fucking crazy bitch with myself and everyone else. Now, turning 18, i have alot of new things opening up to me, but i honestly doubt i will be able to enjoy any of those new experiences. the only thing i will slightly enjoy, is that i no longer have to only buy cigarettes from the creepy indian dude down the road., now i can by them anywhere. happy fucking birthday, jehz, youre a fucking adult now, so now you can deal with shit in the adult way. which only makes me fucking fightened, that im just going to fucking end up in jail for fighting/murder/aggravated asault/whatever else i can possibly do wrong, while everyone is laughing at my stupid looking mug shots on LCSO.ORG. i mean, ever since ive realized i am close to 18, ive dreaded the fact that i will now be a fucking adult. i will go to jail with the freaky bald lesbian bitches with huge hairy cougar sizes pussies, and they dont fucking take "not tonight" for an answer, either. it wont be like JDC, where i get juices and crackers for a bedtime snack and go to sleep listening to some 13 year old bull dykes rub on eachothers little jayjays, it will be more like hey eat some of these refried beans and go lick some huge fat black ladies vagina or she will beat you to a pulp and make you her bitch.
im going to go scrape the resin off my bowl.
::edit::
So, scraped my bowl, had a little thang going on for a little while. All i have to say, is atleast jenna is going to be back in florida today. thats going to make things alot better, unless fucking bearded bitch wants to go off and try to be a two faced hoe again and make it so that me and jenna wont hang out. gah! this time, im not going to let the fact that she weighs at the least, 100 more pounds than me intimidate me at all, if i can take down giants, i can take down wide bitches, too. im small and faaaaasst and surprisingly incredibly strong. I remember in all of my elemntary school years i was the strongest kid in my PE classes ever year, and not to mention i have 18 years of practice beating up strong boys and stupid girls, i will take on the bearded biggins if she bothers me this time, i still cant get over how fucking incredibly two faced she is. i was friends with her from the time i first entered school until just last year after i asked her to mail out some jewelry, and she totally scammed everyone including me, i loved how she came over to my house a few days later actually fucking wearing the jewelry, too. and all the times she had made rude gestures THINKING i wasnt looking, when i most definantly was but i did not want to upset lady jenna, because i honestly respect that girl more than anyone i know when it comes down to it, seriously. she has never once fucked me over, and everytime i have assumed she was fucking me over, ive come to the realization that it was bearded bitch trying to break shit between me and jenn, but you know, ive been friends with her for almost 4 years now, and not once have we ever gotten into an arguement and neither one of us have never done eachother wrong, and we have spend MONTHS together, non stop, practically living at her house. thats a badass fucking friendship right there, regardless of anything else, that lady really makes me smile and im just glad shes not going to be in new bedford anymore, because im fucking lonely damnit and i want my toking buddy back :(
and you know what, i hope bearded bitch can still read my entries, and i hope she just happens to stumble across this so she can honestly realize how fucked up of a fucking person she really is. im not a fucking naive moron, i pretend to be one so that i can catch bitches like you doing what you do best........ being a backstabbing selfish dramatic overbearing 2 faced cunt.