(no subject)
I have officially decided that it's fckng SWEET missing stupid people.
And agreeing to be their Valentine with two minutes of the stupid fckng holiday left. Just so we could be Valentines due to a promise that was made and thought to had been broken.
I cannot stop myself from holding onto people.
Especially when THEY leave ME. (Obviously)
Maybe it's a self worth thing?
Because obviously if someone's leaving me then I've failed them.
I mean, I still miss Craig for Christ's sake.
And that was what? Forty years ago?
Maybe it's because I don't want to believe that I'm actually a horrible fckng person.
I've Loved two people in my whole life.
They both left me.
For almost the same reasons.
Then found other girls nearly MOMENTS after.
One's still with his. The other, not so much.
I'm just very tired of Loving someone SO much. And being SO comfortable with them. Then unexpectedly losing them. With so many plans that will never happen. And so many more 'I Love You's that needed to had been said. And so many more cuddles. And laughs. And kisses. And jokes that only you and they know about. And falling asleep next to them and waking up the exact same way.
And the absolute feeling. Of hugging them. Or holding them. Or them holding you. And feeling. Like nothing could ever happen. As long as you're in their arms.
And that it will never end...
...But then it ends.
Cause it always fckng does.
And agreeing to be their Valentine with two minutes of the stupid fckng holiday left. Just so we could be Valentines due to a promise that was made and thought to had been broken.
I cannot stop myself from holding onto people.
Especially when THEY leave ME. (Obviously)
Maybe it's a self worth thing?
Because obviously if someone's leaving me then I've failed them.
I mean, I still miss Craig for Christ's sake.
And that was what? Forty years ago?
Maybe it's because I don't want to believe that I'm actually a horrible fckng person.
I've Loved two people in my whole life.
They both left me.
For almost the same reasons.
Then found other girls nearly MOMENTS after.
One's still with his. The other, not so much.
I'm just very tired of Loving someone SO much. And being SO comfortable with them. Then unexpectedly losing them. With so many plans that will never happen. And so many more 'I Love You's that needed to had been said. And so many more cuddles. And laughs. And kisses. And jokes that only you and they know about. And falling asleep next to them and waking up the exact same way.
And the absolute feeling. Of hugging them. Or holding them. Or them holding you. And feeling. Like nothing could ever happen. As long as you're in their arms.
And that it will never end...
...But then it ends.
Cause it always fckng does.