(no subject)
i was so excited to get this friend back. i thought things were going to be absolutely perfect again, i thought we were gonna be best friends again & drop everything bad that ever happened. but ofcourse that can't happen.
last night everyone got drunk. except me &chris. people were being unbelievabley stupid and were drinking MY drink that i bought, eating MY food that i bought. but noone was paying attention to me and my boyfriend. i had a headache and i felt lonlier than ever. sean told me and chris to go upstairs because he could tell we were miserable. i was crying and people kept barging in the room talking about how hammered they were. renae locked the door for us and told us to keep it locked. i cried & chris comforted me. we are dating. that's what is supposed to happen.
but as soon as [blank] sobers up, she realizes she's alone. i was downstairs for 2 1/2 hours and she didn't look at me once. but wehn i go upstairs and she realizes noones flocking around her anymore, it's my fault. she didn't comfort me when i was sad. i went to sleep. yet i was supposed to be downstairs comforting her?
i didn't stay there for her. i didn't even know she was staying. sean asked me and chris to stay. not for me and [blank] to stay together.
she told me this morning that me not being there for her changed everything. i'm fucking crushed. and i've been fucked over this time. but ofcourse she's always the victim.
she doesn't tell me shit, yet i'm supposed to act like her best friend? i'm not kissing her ass anymore. i'm not ditching people for her anymore. she doesn't know about how many plans i've been breaking for her. she doesn't need to know.
she doesn't know what i've been going through. she doesn't care to ask. the only thing that matters to her is what's happening in her life.
those two are perfect for eachother. they don't care about anyone but themselves. i have no doubt in my mind they will be friends when she comes back. no fucking doubt.
call me a bitch but i hold everything inside. i listen to all her problems instead of telling her mine.
fuck how i feel, seriously.
EDIT-
never fucking mind.
apparantely she had no intention on every being my friend again.
she doesn't trust me.
she was being nice to me because i'm dating chris.
she helped fuck shit up last time.
she doesn't know that her fucking friends told me she tried breaking me and chris up
last time so she could have him.
she doesn't know the shit i know she said about me.
because i let it go and didn't care to start more shit with her.
fuck this fuck this fuck this.
fuck her for making me bawl my eyes out.
last night everyone got drunk. except me &chris. people were being unbelievabley stupid and were drinking MY drink that i bought, eating MY food that i bought. but noone was paying attention to me and my boyfriend. i had a headache and i felt lonlier than ever. sean told me and chris to go upstairs because he could tell we were miserable. i was crying and people kept barging in the room talking about how hammered they were. renae locked the door for us and told us to keep it locked. i cried & chris comforted me. we are dating. that's what is supposed to happen.
but as soon as [blank] sobers up, she realizes she's alone. i was downstairs for 2 1/2 hours and she didn't look at me once. but wehn i go upstairs and she realizes noones flocking around her anymore, it's my fault. she didn't comfort me when i was sad. i went to sleep. yet i was supposed to be downstairs comforting her?
i didn't stay there for her. i didn't even know she was staying. sean asked me and chris to stay. not for me and [blank] to stay together.
she told me this morning that me not being there for her changed everything. i'm fucking crushed. and i've been fucked over this time. but ofcourse she's always the victim.
she doesn't tell me shit, yet i'm supposed to act like her best friend? i'm not kissing her ass anymore. i'm not ditching people for her anymore. she doesn't know about how many plans i've been breaking for her. she doesn't need to know.
she doesn't know what i've been going through. she doesn't care to ask. the only thing that matters to her is what's happening in her life.
those two are perfect for eachother. they don't care about anyone but themselves. i have no doubt in my mind they will be friends when she comes back. no fucking doubt.
call me a bitch but i hold everything inside. i listen to all her problems instead of telling her mine.
fuck how i feel, seriously.
EDIT-
never fucking mind.
apparantely she had no intention on every being my friend again.
she doesn't trust me.
she was being nice to me because i'm dating chris.
she helped fuck shit up last time.
she doesn't know that her fucking friends told me she tried breaking me and chris up
last time so she could have him.
she doesn't know the shit i know she said about me.
because i let it go and didn't care to start more shit with her.
fuck this fuck this fuck this.
fuck her for making me bawl my eyes out.