here today, gone tomorrow
I found a letter in my closet I mailed to Sandy Fox many years ago while she was at camp. Besides all the crap about summer boys and inside jokes, there was a sentence that went something like "If anyone in your bunk listens to Blood for Blood, Sick of it All, Neglect + a bunch of others, tell them Jen Maisel thinks they're awesome". I was a 13 year old jocking hardcore.
Why 13? I should have been thinking about guys every two seconds and makeup and growing up and all that 7th grade shit, but I wasn't. Maybe it's because I moved from a new school a year ago, became a social chameleon, and then hated myself for pretending to be something I'm not. Maybe it's because prior to 6th grade, the only music I knew of were Ren and Stimpy soundtracks and Greenday, and my brother somehow guided me towards metal. Maybe it's because one year earlier, my best friends betrayed and hurt me beyond belief. What I do know is that hardcore has helped me bring myself come to terms with many events in my life while never making me compromise my own integrity. Hardcore was simply a reflection of who I was and how I felt about people, and it still holds true today.
I didn't half-heartedly throw myself into the scene; from the bands, the books, the websites, to the people I've talked to, I have been learning about hardcore till this very day. The history doesn't change, but I've been focusing my attention towards hardcore today. I see wiggers now dressing up in tight pants and dieing their long hair black. I see Judge shirts being sold in hot topic. I see kids practicing windmills in front of mirrors and friends. I see kids who discovered hardcore last week trying to tell ME what hardcore is. I see kids jocking bands they've never heard of just because the band holds a lot of respect in the scene. I see kids making bands to rip off the shitty 'hardcore' bands they listen to. I see kids taking pride in being 'scene'. I see new kids going to shows and acting like assholes. I see kids not going to their "favorite" band's show because they're scared.
Fuck you for making a mockery of one of the few things in life I take to heart. Fuck you for making a mockery of my generation. Fuck you for choosing hardcore. Fuck you for covering your eyes with your hair, and I'll make sure you'll never look me in the eye. Fuck you for wearing tight pants. Fuck you for looking the same. Fuck you for thriving on long island. Fuck you for disrespecting the ones who built this scene. Fuck you because I can't even express how angry I am through words.
The only thing that brings me peace of mind is the statement "here today, gone tomorrow". May tomorrow come swiftly, and thanks to you who know whats up and for all the 10th anniversary shows.
Why 13? I should have been thinking about guys every two seconds and makeup and growing up and all that 7th grade shit, but I wasn't. Maybe it's because I moved from a new school a year ago, became a social chameleon, and then hated myself for pretending to be something I'm not. Maybe it's because prior to 6th grade, the only music I knew of were Ren and Stimpy soundtracks and Greenday, and my brother somehow guided me towards metal. Maybe it's because one year earlier, my best friends betrayed and hurt me beyond belief. What I do know is that hardcore has helped me bring myself come to terms with many events in my life while never making me compromise my own integrity. Hardcore was simply a reflection of who I was and how I felt about people, and it still holds true today.
I didn't half-heartedly throw myself into the scene; from the bands, the books, the websites, to the people I've talked to, I have been learning about hardcore till this very day. The history doesn't change, but I've been focusing my attention towards hardcore today. I see wiggers now dressing up in tight pants and dieing their long hair black. I see Judge shirts being sold in hot topic. I see kids practicing windmills in front of mirrors and friends. I see kids who discovered hardcore last week trying to tell ME what hardcore is. I see kids jocking bands they've never heard of just because the band holds a lot of respect in the scene. I see kids making bands to rip off the shitty 'hardcore' bands they listen to. I see kids taking pride in being 'scene'. I see new kids going to shows and acting like assholes. I see kids not going to their "favorite" band's show because they're scared.
Fuck you for making a mockery of one of the few things in life I take to heart. Fuck you for making a mockery of my generation. Fuck you for choosing hardcore. Fuck you for covering your eyes with your hair, and I'll make sure you'll never look me in the eye. Fuck you for wearing tight pants. Fuck you for looking the same. Fuck you for thriving on long island. Fuck you for disrespecting the ones who built this scene. Fuck you because I can't even express how angry I am through words.
The only thing that brings me peace of mind is the statement "here today, gone tomorrow". May tomorrow come swiftly, and thanks to you who know whats up and for all the 10th anniversary shows.