if life was easier would we ever really live?

[trapt_007]

what do you see when you look at me
a black-hearted selfish bitch
trying to be someone she's not
crying out for pain
for attention
is that what you fucking see
if it is it's not who i wanna be
i never meant to hurt you
never meant to let you down
if i could take it back
i would in a second
but i don't deserve a second chance
i fucked up too bad
i should have stopped before i started
the pain just felt good
it made me feel real
it made me feel alive
i knew it was wrong
and now i'm paying for it
my heart's broken now
a split down the center that will never be mended
no matter how many tears are shead from red eyes
and how many apologies fall from bitten lips
it's broken
and i'm sorry
but it's too late for that now.

i didn't see it
until it was too late
and now i'll pay
for my mistakes.