Proof that I am dumb

[trappedinyou]

 Well I've fallen back into the past... My future seems so far away (I'm really hoping that something will happen this summer with the guy who lives across an ocean... I've always had a thing for distance) so for the moment I'm finding odd satisfaction with the past. We argue a lot. Get mad at each other a lot... but I've finally realized that there's an unexpected level of caring there. I got mad a week or so ago and he stepped back to let me cool down and I was still mad when he returned and he got mad and told me in parting that he hoped I was happy living my life and then reappeared in a few minutes saying he was sorry and that he didn't want to fight. This isn't the same man that I remember and I don't know how to deal with it honestly. I've been sure to keep things light so he finally slipped in there that there are other possibilities and I wasn't jealous as I thought I would be but I wasn't exactly happy, either. I don't know how I'm feeling or how to balance things out anymore.

But I'm really tired and ready to pass out so I'll think about it all in the morning