Spanish.
They say that going abroad in a foreign country (particularly one that speaks a foreign language) is a bit of a roller coaster ride. You, as the exchange student, will go through a series of up-and-down changes as you adjust to wherever you are. You get there, feel totally out-of-place (low point), learn what you're doing and fall in love with the novelty of it all (high point), start missing your home and your normal routines (low point), form new routines and assimilate (high point), and repeat to some degree.
Well... I skipped most of that. I felt slightly uncomfortable at first, mostly because I didn't have a ton of expectations coming in about what to expect and also because public transportation was largely a new thing for me, but other than that, I skipped a lot of the up-and-down and just kind of went with the flow.
But as of today, I have finally hit a low point, and it feels very low indeed.
I am sick of speaking Spanish.
Actually, I suppose that's not entirely fair. I don't mind speaking Spanish to José Luis, and I suppose at the moment I'm okay with speaking it with my host family, but other than that, I'm tired of trying to spend hours of class focusing on someone giving a lecture. I'm sick of those times where I happen to be out in public alone (perhaps buying something at the store) and someone asks me a question that, no matter how many times they repeat it, I can't understand. My comprehension is not that bad! Why the fuck does it cause me so many problems?!
And really, the reason I'm even writing this entry is that I have a huge test on Thursday, and I've got a ton of reading to slog through for it. But unlike last test, the readings are all in Spanish, and furthermore, they're academic writings about the health care system in Chile which is neither very interesting to me nor easy at ALL to understand and I just want to get through with reading them but I'm sick of getting lost trying to follow sentences that take up half the page, and google translate is NOT helping in the least with this...
I don't want to flunk this test (which I will if I can't get it together and just get through the damn readings), but I really have no motivation at this point, and to be honest, I'm getting really upset about it. I know it's mostly just the fact that I'm tired, but I legitimately haven't gotten upset at all like this since I've been in Chile, and at this precise moment all I want is to have readings in English that I can understand... that don't make me feel like some incompetent idiot.
I dunno. I'm trying to just get through it, but it's not working. Maybe I'll take a break and go do something else and come back to it later...
Well... I skipped most of that. I felt slightly uncomfortable at first, mostly because I didn't have a ton of expectations coming in about what to expect and also because public transportation was largely a new thing for me, but other than that, I skipped a lot of the up-and-down and just kind of went with the flow.
But as of today, I have finally hit a low point, and it feels very low indeed.
I am sick of speaking Spanish.
Actually, I suppose that's not entirely fair. I don't mind speaking Spanish to José Luis, and I suppose at the moment I'm okay with speaking it with my host family, but other than that, I'm tired of trying to spend hours of class focusing on someone giving a lecture. I'm sick of those times where I happen to be out in public alone (perhaps buying something at the store) and someone asks me a question that, no matter how many times they repeat it, I can't understand. My comprehension is not that bad! Why the fuck does it cause me so many problems?!
And really, the reason I'm even writing this entry is that I have a huge test on Thursday, and I've got a ton of reading to slog through for it. But unlike last test, the readings are all in Spanish, and furthermore, they're academic writings about the health care system in Chile which is neither very interesting to me nor easy at ALL to understand and I just want to get through with reading them but I'm sick of getting lost trying to follow sentences that take up half the page, and google translate is NOT helping in the least with this...
I don't want to flunk this test (which I will if I can't get it together and just get through the damn readings), but I really have no motivation at this point, and to be honest, I'm getting really upset about it. I know it's mostly just the fact that I'm tired, but I legitimately haven't gotten upset at all like this since I've been in Chile, and at this precise moment all I want is to have readings in English that I can understand... that don't make me feel like some incompetent idiot.
I dunno. I'm trying to just get through it, but it's not working. Maybe I'll take a break and go do something else and come back to it later...