(no subject)
So why am I posting on livejournal when I should be at work in an office that has no internet access?
BECAUSE I GOT FIRED THIS MORNING!
I never would have thought that it could be so liberating! I resolve to try to make it happen more often. Anyway it's for the best - I had a sleepless night trying to think of a way to approach my boss this morning to say it wasn't working out (I had resolved to quit on Friday) without putting her on the defensive which would have lead to the inevitable conflict and probably me walking out there and then. Anyway background info - the work was pitched to me as being involved in recruitment: decision making, hands-on stuff. A dynamic, interesting role. The agency said that the company wanted someone "switched on". Sounded pretty good. Apparently hands-on meant working through a pile of CVs and entering the details on an Excel spreadsheet for 2 weeks. Umm. Add to this a bit of ersatz caretaking - making sure delegates have enough tea/coffee/hot chocolate/peanuts/ego caresses, locking up at night and you have my ultimate gay job. For no meaningful pay.
Add to this the fact that the boss is exactly the worst kind - a real clingfilm effort: utterly transparent and all over you if you even remotely engage with it. All in all horrible, soul crushing stuff. She's a half-human protocol spewing machine: in fact it's worse - I'm now sure GNER charges exorbitant ticket prices to fund an advanced cybernetics project, and have succeeded in creating the perfect middle management machine programmed to follow the corporations merest rule and whim without question. Oh and, while we're on it, kudos to them for bribing the government to secure the east coast mainline contract for the next 10 years. Fucking scumbags. Anyway I, however, am an intelligent, sentient human, blessed with the power of reasoned thought. To whit: if I'm 5 minutes late it's because I always leave 5 minutes late as the role demands I lock up, clean all the rooms and so on. Everyone else works flexi-time and, whilst my hours are 9-5 if I do 9:05 to 5:05 there's no real difference. Make sense? Not to GNERbot who consistently took me aside for a "quick word". When you add that I don't give a shit about such a boring job - doubly so for one that is hugely below my capabilities and was pitched to me as being something it's not - you see the conflict. And I protest - even if the internet is all blocked but for the BBC website well, dammnit, you see if I don't spend all day on it! I now know about all bands in Cumbria and the latest news from Venezuela! FUCK YOU! When you have a "quick word" about that well, see if I don't adopt passive work resistance and simply sit there doing nothing. My own silent, efficient, pointless protest. FUCK YOU!
I can console myself with the fact that she'll be stuck doing the same thing in the same company for the rest of her working life. It'll bring her no pleasure, no real income and her mere presence will slowly turn even the most patient of those unlucky enough to work with her against her. I imagine them steeling themselves and their grins everyday to deal with her feckless, forced jokes and overly-friendly greetings both of which are programmed into her to say "See? It's not all bad, I'm approachable! I'm a great boss! Did you see Coronation Street last night?" whilst inside the resistance slowly and surely subsides a little each time. It's probably what she deserves. Anyway onwards and upwards.
Oh and in the spirit of humanity and professionalism: SHE LOOKS LIKE A BOGLIN AND THE IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME SHE SUFFERS FROM IS FULLY DESERVED. AND DON'T WEAR A BERET LIKE A FLAT CAP AND EXPECT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! PLUS I DREW A BIG LOPSIDED DICK ON THE NOTICE BOARD IN PERMANENT MARKER SO I WIN!
BECAUSE I GOT FIRED THIS MORNING!
I never would have thought that it could be so liberating! I resolve to try to make it happen more often. Anyway it's for the best - I had a sleepless night trying to think of a way to approach my boss this morning to say it wasn't working out (I had resolved to quit on Friday) without putting her on the defensive which would have lead to the inevitable conflict and probably me walking out there and then. Anyway background info - the work was pitched to me as being involved in recruitment: decision making, hands-on stuff. A dynamic, interesting role. The agency said that the company wanted someone "switched on". Sounded pretty good. Apparently hands-on meant working through a pile of CVs and entering the details on an Excel spreadsheet for 2 weeks. Umm. Add to this a bit of ersatz caretaking - making sure delegates have enough tea/coffee/hot chocolate/peanuts/ego caresses, locking up at night and you have my ultimate gay job. For no meaningful pay.
Add to this the fact that the boss is exactly the worst kind - a real clingfilm effort: utterly transparent and all over you if you even remotely engage with it. All in all horrible, soul crushing stuff. She's a half-human protocol spewing machine: in fact it's worse - I'm now sure GNER charges exorbitant ticket prices to fund an advanced cybernetics project, and have succeeded in creating the perfect middle management machine programmed to follow the corporations merest rule and whim without question. Oh and, while we're on it, kudos to them for bribing the government to secure the east coast mainline contract for the next 10 years. Fucking scumbags. Anyway I, however, am an intelligent, sentient human, blessed with the power of reasoned thought. To whit: if I'm 5 minutes late it's because I always leave 5 minutes late as the role demands I lock up, clean all the rooms and so on. Everyone else works flexi-time and, whilst my hours are 9-5 if I do 9:05 to 5:05 there's no real difference. Make sense? Not to GNERbot who consistently took me aside for a "quick word". When you add that I don't give a shit about such a boring job - doubly so for one that is hugely below my capabilities and was pitched to me as being something it's not - you see the conflict. And I protest - even if the internet is all blocked but for the BBC website well, dammnit, you see if I don't spend all day on it! I now know about all bands in Cumbria and the latest news from Venezuela! FUCK YOU! When you have a "quick word" about that well, see if I don't adopt passive work resistance and simply sit there doing nothing. My own silent, efficient, pointless protest. FUCK YOU!
I can console myself with the fact that she'll be stuck doing the same thing in the same company for the rest of her working life. It'll bring her no pleasure, no real income and her mere presence will slowly turn even the most patient of those unlucky enough to work with her against her. I imagine them steeling themselves and their grins everyday to deal with her feckless, forced jokes and overly-friendly greetings both of which are programmed into her to say "See? It's not all bad, I'm approachable! I'm a great boss! Did you see Coronation Street last night?" whilst inside the resistance slowly and surely subsides a little each time. It's probably what she deserves. Anyway onwards and upwards.
Oh and in the spirit of humanity and professionalism: SHE LOOKS LIKE A BOGLIN AND THE IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME SHE SUFFERS FROM IS FULLY DESERVED. AND DON'T WEAR A BERET LIKE A FLAT CAP AND EXPECT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! PLUS I DREW A BIG LOPSIDED DICK ON THE NOTICE BOARD IN PERMANENT MARKER SO I WIN!