And the search for life continues
Recently I have been struggling with being considerate to GF who, since starting her job at my arrival, rarely wants to do anything except blob in front the TV (in the company of BF who hates TV) and sleep, and my desire to go out and discover something of this new life. It started out well with regular social excursions, but these seem to have subsided recently, and it seems not the same when they are her freinds, as lovely as they are, as having my own freinds. And besides they seem to be in a social downturn resently. So I had decided to take the opportunity while GF is away on business for a week, challenge my self confidence and strike out alone and see what I found.
Although I must admit to not approaching this very confidently I reasoned that I have seen success in doing this while away on holiday and business, gone out entirely by myself, met people, had fun, and sometimes made good friends from it. Why is it, as I have observed after two different moves, does it feel so different having moved to a new place than being there temporarily. I have spoke to others and apparently it is not only me who experiences this drain on one's social confidence and energy after a drastic move but I cannot see why this quality persist in contradiction of reason.
But I digress...it seemed to me after much reading and re-reading the local scene magazines, websites and gig guides looking for events at which I might have suitable excuse for being there other than being desperate to meet nice people, that this experimental week was the most lacking in events of interest for me than any other I have seen. My luck, or perhaps perverse pessimism distorting my reality?
Thursday night I had over for dinner an acquaintance made through GF who I have been wanting to have over for some time, except GF is perpetually too tired for visitors when she is about. He and I have interests in common and seemed to be able to hold a conversation of some merit on previous occasions we have met when out - although I had, both through my own observations and comments of mutual acquaintances, an impression that he might suffer from socially terminal self involvement. This, unfortunately was proven by multiple events preceeding and during his visit (which I wont go into), illustrating his entire self preoccupation, excluding from his cognition affairs both practical and intellectual.
Ouch that sounds scathing, in truth he is a nice guy but he is so obviously 24 going on 17 and attempt to be more than a casual friend would be incredibly frustrating.
Strike 1
Friday night, I had resolved to go to a local bar I know where they where hosting a “Afro-Caribbean” DJ set, which sounded mildly intriguing, but first it was down to the Embassy Bar (which apparently I manage) to make sure it started up OK for Friday night drinks. Had a good turnout of people, and I was pleased to see that I am getting to know more and more of the Embassy community. And although I have little in common with them, I am discovering that some are characters, and they are discovering that I have some substance to me. Including one young lady, who I have spoken with before and who seemed interesting, and on speaking to her this night found out she is planning to head to this same event with some of her friends. So we resolved to meet there later. Whereupon she left in advance to return home and spend the countless hours which seems mandatory for ladies to spend preparing themselves. I was invited by the Embassy “old boys” club to join their number in doubles on the newly installed pool table, which flattered and pleased me as they could have filled the places from their own ranks but chose to involve me. I managed to fluke enough good shots to appear not a total amateur (thank god!) before leaving to get to Yugong Yishan’s Afro Caribbean night. The music was OK, but didn’t have me busting to dance, practised my Chinese on innocent passers by while waiting for arrival of new friend#1 (who despite leaving the Embassy giving me enough time for 3 games of pool was still 30 minutes later than I!). New Friend#1’s friends arrived and they seemed nice, New Friend#1 is Australian of Chinese descent but her friends were Beijingers. I had somewhere come about the opinion that Beijing Girls were rather innocent, polite, and conservative - these ladies had ME blushing with their innuendo. We eventually decided that we were over this bar, the music wasn’t cutting it, and after a little debate decided to head to a bar the girls had heard was a lesbian bar.
Of course they had to really twist my arm to get me to go.
So we located said bar, but after investigation it was decidedly lacking in lesbian patrons (my partners in arms and the waitresses being the only women in the joint), and after some debate as to how one says “lesbian” in chinese (which apparently even for natives is not common knowledge) we decided that “nu ren ai nu ren” (female love female) was a safe bet and my oh so not bashful chinese compadres enquired of the wait staff if they knew where the lesbians where at.
My stereotypes of Chinese girls have been blown wide open by meeting these ladies.
Lesbian night is Saturday night they told us, right place, wrong time. So we departed in disappointment, them to eat, me to go home as it was midnight and I had a 7am start for mountain biking the next day. They were fun and I hope to meet them again (new friend#1 I see all the time).
Home run.
Got home, slept terribly, got up at 7 anyway. Cycled to the rendezvous and met with the MOB (Mountain Bikers of Beijing). A much bigger turnout than last time - not surprising as last time it was still below zero and this day was a warm day with the sun doing it’s darndest to bust through smog so thick you couldn’t see buildings more than a couple of blocks away. We totalled 24 people, and were heading for a place called Simitai, NW of Beijing. About 20 minutes in the outskirts of BJ we hit a massive traffic jam (that’s right folks, at 8:30 on a Saturday morning) which was reportedly caused by an accident. Only the accident had been cleared an hour ago and the current condition is caused by that unique characteristic of Chinese drivers, absolutely no one gives way to anyone else, EVER! They don’t seem to realise that if every person does this, certain traffic situations become a complete, indefinite stalemate, which is what had happened here. After waiting about 30 minutes the queue of traffic realised this situation was not going to resolve so we all reversed to a break in the barrier and did a U turn. Even then our progress was impeded by much bigger buses attempting this manouver even though they were too big to complete it, thus blocking all the traffic in both directions.
How these people ever managed to form a civilisation eludes me, they seem to contradict every tenet of the concept.
We eventually got through, only after one of our numbers did a “Tiananmen square” out of frustration upon seeing another too-big to turn bus starting to turn in front of us he hopped off and stood resolutely in front of the interdictor until we had passed. That’s the only way to get things done here it seems.
So after extensive delays we made it to Simitai, most of the group departed but I was delayed when, due to my Samaritan nature (or perhaps at frustration in seeing inexperienced people fumble in vain at things they don’t understand) I helped one guy whose brakes weren’t working, another whose seat needed adjusting, another who just couldn’t get his back wheel back on, and shortly into the ride again the guy with the seat who now had a flat tyre. My Samaritan nature sorely tested I resolved against further interventions as I hadn’t spent 3.5 hours on a bus to fix bikes, and also theorised that the more experienced riders bugger off quickly to avoid such. It may seem uncharitable but people who go on such an expedition on a bike they have borrowed and never ridden before, with no tools, spare tyres or patches, are being a little silly.
Anyway it was a nice ride with lovely scenery (when you could see despite the smog - even out here in the countryside it persists), but the previously unpaved road had been paved so it was not so exciting, although there where still some difficult climbs. The endpoint, where we stopped for a break and food, was a dramatic piece of wild wall (unrestored section of great wall) which myself and another fellow took the opportunity to climb. However as my digital camera was away in Mongolia with GF I could take no pictures myself. One of the other riders took some pictures for me, which I have not yet received but will be sure to post when I do. We headed back to our origin at a little village and waited for the long distance riders (whom I might like to have joined had I not been delayed through repairing others bikes) to return. We amused ourselves chatting, drinking beer and entertaining the locals (who had all come out to see the spectacle) with beer inspired bicycle antics. I met some lovely people and had some good talks there and on the way back, and started to feel a lovely and much missed sense of belonging. There are some great characters mongst the MOB. Didn’t get back to BJ until 8PM, absolutely knackered after the long day (Ok beer immediately after a long ride probably wasn’t a great idea either but heh - it’s tradition. Cancelled plans to go out and instead went home, had a big feed of KFC and watched House of Flying Daggers.
Slept for 10 hours and still woke up knackered. Late start to the day, did a bit of web research on current affairs and then resolved to go and check out an electronics market on the other side of town which I had been meaning to go to for a while. Managed to locate it successfully after a bit of consultation with locals in the area, my budding Chinese served well. Unfortunately the market was just digital electronics, I had been hoping it was general electronics, but at least I knew (ok so it’s my thing, I don’t expect y’all to understand my electronics fetish). Got home, moped around for a while, really wanted to make up for not having gone out the previous night and wanted to make the most of it before GF returns, but it was Sunday night and really not much going on around town. Finally, finding a burst of confidence, resolved to go and check out a nightclub nearby that I had wanted to check out, which had a Jazz night (DJ, not live) hoping that there would be some friendly people to talk with, and if not to hell with it - I had lost nothing. The place was all but deserted, but I was on a mission, so I made acquaintance and chatted with the manager, the general manager, and the DJ’s girlfriend. I guess they had no one else to talk to either. The DJ really (a portugese guy) impressed me with his music, I often here DJs whose technical skill impresses me but very rarely do I encounter one whose musical selection really moves me. I complemented him on this, talked him up to his bosses, and have resolved to make a CD of similar minded music from my own collection to give him, maybe he might want to be friends?
Went home not too late, had another terrible nights sleep and this morning was a disaster. To many nights of poor sleep and I was going nowhere, felt sick, tried and down. Got up for long enough to establish that going to Chinese class would be a total waste of time, went back to bed and slept until 2pm. Very slow second start to the day, but got it together, did some study, went to a local market to pick up some gear, groceries and cooked a lovely healthy dinner of salmon (after my research of the weekends I have decided to persue a tryptophan rich diet).
GF is back tomorrow night, when Wednesday morning I am flying to a northern province for work (sorry most of you don’t know about my job yet but I will have to elaborate separately, this novella is long enough for now). I am back on Friday night. I had proposed to GF that we have an “us” weekend, we refuse all invitations, social obligations, and spend some time as our relationship has been lacking quality time together. She received this idea enthusiastically, and I am looking forward to us being able to enjoy BJ just by ourselves.
So don’t expect to hear from me before next week OK?
Until then…
: )
Although I must admit to not approaching this very confidently I reasoned that I have seen success in doing this while away on holiday and business, gone out entirely by myself, met people, had fun, and sometimes made good friends from it. Why is it, as I have observed after two different moves, does it feel so different having moved to a new place than being there temporarily. I have spoke to others and apparently it is not only me who experiences this drain on one's social confidence and energy after a drastic move but I cannot see why this quality persist in contradiction of reason.
But I digress...it seemed to me after much reading and re-reading the local scene magazines, websites and gig guides looking for events at which I might have suitable excuse for being there other than being desperate to meet nice people, that this experimental week was the most lacking in events of interest for me than any other I have seen. My luck, or perhaps perverse pessimism distorting my reality?
Thursday night I had over for dinner an acquaintance made through GF who I have been wanting to have over for some time, except GF is perpetually too tired for visitors when she is about. He and I have interests in common and seemed to be able to hold a conversation of some merit on previous occasions we have met when out - although I had, both through my own observations and comments of mutual acquaintances, an impression that he might suffer from socially terminal self involvement. This, unfortunately was proven by multiple events preceeding and during his visit (which I wont go into), illustrating his entire self preoccupation, excluding from his cognition affairs both practical and intellectual.
Ouch that sounds scathing, in truth he is a nice guy but he is so obviously 24 going on 17 and attempt to be more than a casual friend would be incredibly frustrating.
Strike 1
Friday night, I had resolved to go to a local bar I know where they where hosting a “Afro-Caribbean” DJ set, which sounded mildly intriguing, but first it was down to the Embassy Bar (which apparently I manage) to make sure it started up OK for Friday night drinks. Had a good turnout of people, and I was pleased to see that I am getting to know more and more of the Embassy community. And although I have little in common with them, I am discovering that some are characters, and they are discovering that I have some substance to me. Including one young lady, who I have spoken with before and who seemed interesting, and on speaking to her this night found out she is planning to head to this same event with some of her friends. So we resolved to meet there later. Whereupon she left in advance to return home and spend the countless hours which seems mandatory for ladies to spend preparing themselves. I was invited by the Embassy “old boys” club to join their number in doubles on the newly installed pool table, which flattered and pleased me as they could have filled the places from their own ranks but chose to involve me. I managed to fluke enough good shots to appear not a total amateur (thank god!) before leaving to get to Yugong Yishan’s Afro Caribbean night. The music was OK, but didn’t have me busting to dance, practised my Chinese on innocent passers by while waiting for arrival of new friend#1 (who despite leaving the Embassy giving me enough time for 3 games of pool was still 30 minutes later than I!). New Friend#1’s friends arrived and they seemed nice, New Friend#1 is Australian of Chinese descent but her friends were Beijingers. I had somewhere come about the opinion that Beijing Girls were rather innocent, polite, and conservative - these ladies had ME blushing with their innuendo. We eventually decided that we were over this bar, the music wasn’t cutting it, and after a little debate decided to head to a bar the girls had heard was a lesbian bar.
Of course they had to really twist my arm to get me to go.
So we located said bar, but after investigation it was decidedly lacking in lesbian patrons (my partners in arms and the waitresses being the only women in the joint), and after some debate as to how one says “lesbian” in chinese (which apparently even for natives is not common knowledge) we decided that “nu ren ai nu ren” (female love female) was a safe bet and my oh so not bashful chinese compadres enquired of the wait staff if they knew where the lesbians where at.
My stereotypes of Chinese girls have been blown wide open by meeting these ladies.
Lesbian night is Saturday night they told us, right place, wrong time. So we departed in disappointment, them to eat, me to go home as it was midnight and I had a 7am start for mountain biking the next day. They were fun and I hope to meet them again (new friend#1 I see all the time).
Home run.
Got home, slept terribly, got up at 7 anyway. Cycled to the rendezvous and met with the MOB (Mountain Bikers of Beijing). A much bigger turnout than last time - not surprising as last time it was still below zero and this day was a warm day with the sun doing it’s darndest to bust through smog so thick you couldn’t see buildings more than a couple of blocks away. We totalled 24 people, and were heading for a place called Simitai, NW of Beijing. About 20 minutes in the outskirts of BJ we hit a massive traffic jam (that’s right folks, at 8:30 on a Saturday morning) which was reportedly caused by an accident. Only the accident had been cleared an hour ago and the current condition is caused by that unique characteristic of Chinese drivers, absolutely no one gives way to anyone else, EVER! They don’t seem to realise that if every person does this, certain traffic situations become a complete, indefinite stalemate, which is what had happened here. After waiting about 30 minutes the queue of traffic realised this situation was not going to resolve so we all reversed to a break in the barrier and did a U turn. Even then our progress was impeded by much bigger buses attempting this manouver even though they were too big to complete it, thus blocking all the traffic in both directions.
How these people ever managed to form a civilisation eludes me, they seem to contradict every tenet of the concept.
We eventually got through, only after one of our numbers did a “Tiananmen square” out of frustration upon seeing another too-big to turn bus starting to turn in front of us he hopped off and stood resolutely in front of the interdictor until we had passed. That’s the only way to get things done here it seems.
So after extensive delays we made it to Simitai, most of the group departed but I was delayed when, due to my Samaritan nature (or perhaps at frustration in seeing inexperienced people fumble in vain at things they don’t understand) I helped one guy whose brakes weren’t working, another whose seat needed adjusting, another who just couldn’t get his back wheel back on, and shortly into the ride again the guy with the seat who now had a flat tyre. My Samaritan nature sorely tested I resolved against further interventions as I hadn’t spent 3.5 hours on a bus to fix bikes, and also theorised that the more experienced riders bugger off quickly to avoid such. It may seem uncharitable but people who go on such an expedition on a bike they have borrowed and never ridden before, with no tools, spare tyres or patches, are being a little silly.
Anyway it was a nice ride with lovely scenery (when you could see despite the smog - even out here in the countryside it persists), but the previously unpaved road had been paved so it was not so exciting, although there where still some difficult climbs. The endpoint, where we stopped for a break and food, was a dramatic piece of wild wall (unrestored section of great wall) which myself and another fellow took the opportunity to climb. However as my digital camera was away in Mongolia with GF I could take no pictures myself. One of the other riders took some pictures for me, which I have not yet received but will be sure to post when I do. We headed back to our origin at a little village and waited for the long distance riders (whom I might like to have joined had I not been delayed through repairing others bikes) to return. We amused ourselves chatting, drinking beer and entertaining the locals (who had all come out to see the spectacle) with beer inspired bicycle antics. I met some lovely people and had some good talks there and on the way back, and started to feel a lovely and much missed sense of belonging. There are some great characters mongst the MOB. Didn’t get back to BJ until 8PM, absolutely knackered after the long day (Ok beer immediately after a long ride probably wasn’t a great idea either but heh - it’s tradition. Cancelled plans to go out and instead went home, had a big feed of KFC and watched House of Flying Daggers.
Slept for 10 hours and still woke up knackered. Late start to the day, did a bit of web research on current affairs and then resolved to go and check out an electronics market on the other side of town which I had been meaning to go to for a while. Managed to locate it successfully after a bit of consultation with locals in the area, my budding Chinese served well. Unfortunately the market was just digital electronics, I had been hoping it was general electronics, but at least I knew (ok so it’s my thing, I don’t expect y’all to understand my electronics fetish). Got home, moped around for a while, really wanted to make up for not having gone out the previous night and wanted to make the most of it before GF returns, but it was Sunday night and really not much going on around town. Finally, finding a burst of confidence, resolved to go and check out a nightclub nearby that I had wanted to check out, which had a Jazz night (DJ, not live) hoping that there would be some friendly people to talk with, and if not to hell with it - I had lost nothing. The place was all but deserted, but I was on a mission, so I made acquaintance and chatted with the manager, the general manager, and the DJ’s girlfriend. I guess they had no one else to talk to either. The DJ really (a portugese guy) impressed me with his music, I often here DJs whose technical skill impresses me but very rarely do I encounter one whose musical selection really moves me. I complemented him on this, talked him up to his bosses, and have resolved to make a CD of similar minded music from my own collection to give him, maybe he might want to be friends?
Went home not too late, had another terrible nights sleep and this morning was a disaster. To many nights of poor sleep and I was going nowhere, felt sick, tried and down. Got up for long enough to establish that going to Chinese class would be a total waste of time, went back to bed and slept until 2pm. Very slow second start to the day, but got it together, did some study, went to a local market to pick up some gear, groceries and cooked a lovely healthy dinner of salmon (after my research of the weekends I have decided to persue a tryptophan rich diet).
GF is back tomorrow night, when Wednesday morning I am flying to a northern province for work (sorry most of you don’t know about my job yet but I will have to elaborate separately, this novella is long enough for now). I am back on Friday night. I had proposed to GF that we have an “us” weekend, we refuse all invitations, social obligations, and spend some time as our relationship has been lacking quality time together. She received this idea enthusiastically, and I am looking forward to us being able to enjoy BJ just by ourselves.
So don’t expect to hear from me before next week OK?
Until then…
: )