not an actual update, but yes!
Right, I’m sorry - I’m supposed to be preparing for class, and was just browsing through the meme out of boredom when this jumped my eyes, and - THIS is probably not what the OP wanted so ... posting it here. But I thought it was hilarious in hindsight.) And I'm sorry for this, rather than an actual update of anything even halfway substantial XD.
Warning(s): Eh, quick writing? Silliness? Otherwise, very light. Considering what this is based off on, it's not even crack.
(and this is me saying, I'm alive, though I really don't want to talk about RL. Like at all >_<).
***
In the end, he should have known that with Lelouch everything would just result in an experiment. Like the heads in the fridge, the eyeballs in the microwave or the spiders he kept under his bed or the one time he decided that the only way you could find out the exact temperature of a corpse was to take a dip in the Thames in the middle of November.
… Suzaku still shuddered at the thought of that, not because it had been a pain to pull Lelouch out of the river, but all the complaining he’d been forced to put with when he’d told Lelouch that i) he couldn't leave the bed any time soon, and that ii) the world could very well live without his showing off 99 % of the time.
But this was topping even that event. Suzaku coughed, and shifted on his chair a bit, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to make sense of just what they were doing here, and not discussing ... whatever Lelouch wanted to discuss like two rational adults. “Right, so what is this?”
Lelouch gave him a look that pronounced that Suzaku should very well know what this graph depicted - never mind the fact that the numbers and equations really told Suzaku nothing - and that he was lowering the IQ of entire London for even bothering to ask. “It’s a graph.”
… Despite the fact that he was currently fending off this irresistible urge to punch Lelouch in the face, Suzaku forced himself to just smile (awkwardly), and rub his hand against his chin. “Yes, … I can see that. I’m just wondering what it’s about …because you know not everyone majored in Mathematics.” He really wondered what it was about Lelouch that made him feel like a right idiot about half of the time. The other half of the time he found himself doubting Lelouch’s sanity.
Lelouch sighed, and then shook his head. “As always you show that ordinary people really don’t know what’s most relevant in a relationship.” He paused, casting a hopeful look in Suzaku’s direction.
“… Just go on,” Suzaku said, still forcing himself to sound somewhat enthusiastic, though he found himself aching for a pint of beer. Or two.
Thankfully, Lelouch was always glad to show off his skills, and - with alarming energy - started talking. Quickly. “Well, as you know, we’ve been working together for a while now, and though I said, I was married to my work and not interested, recent events have made me realise that a consummation of our partnership wouldn’t only be beneficial, but very much desired.” He smiled. “But, considering my domineering personality and your previous experience that has mostly been limited to women, I have decided to analyse -“
“Pardon, what?”… Suzaku, who’d mostly listened with only half-hearted interest at first, now could only gape wide-eyed at Lelouch, trying to gauge that Lelouch had just professed interest in him, and that he was currently … he coughed. “Don’t tell me that you’re serious about this. This is a joke, right?” Because no one in their right mind showed interest in such a manner.
Unfortunately, Lelouch looked regularly crest-fallen and even hurt. He crossed his arms. “Of course, I’m serious.” He pointed at the graph, showing one of the equations and then said, “This curve here represents how often we should switch. I’ve calculated that it would be in our best interests to take turns because, quite frankly -“ he paused, chewing on his underlip, “I would get bored only being a bottom, though the temptation of letting myself go under your guidance is most … alluring.” He tapped a finger against the block of paper. “And you’d miss it - being in control. A part of you craves it as much as another part of you wants domination-“he smiled widely then, “that’s part of the reason why you were such a good soldier because you like following orders. And I would have no problem satisfying those desires in you. So, all those factors taken into account, I’ve think that it’s best if we switch -“ Lelouch tilted his head to the side, obviously thinking and re-arranging the numbers in his head, “around four times week. Or twice, depending on whether or not I find out whether sex is worth so much of my time … Yes that should be it. Questions?”
How he managed to get this across so nonchalantly and matter-of-factly was something Suzaku would never understand. And all he could do now was just…stare. Because: when, how, why? And Lelouch wasn’t making the awkwardness any better, by just standing there, eyes focused intently on him, reading (observing) every single expression flitting over Suzaku’s face.
“I realise it’s a bit of a surprise, but -“ Lelouch smiled, “with a bit of experimentation and the trial and error procedure, we’ll find a way, I’m certain.” And then Lelouch walked over to Suzaku, placing his long, thin arms on his shoulders. “I know you want this. Your eyes were reading every movements of my lips, and I’m sure -“ he whispered, “if I leaned in just a bit closer, your breath would quicken, and if I took your -“
Enough was enough, Suzaku decided and just sat up and pulled Lelouch in for a kiss - not a tender one, not even very shy, but hungry and demanding.
“Wait, this isn’t going by protocol-“ Lelouch protested, frowning.
“Sod that. Just shut up and kiss me or we’re not doing anything at all.”
Warning(s): Eh, quick writing? Silliness? Otherwise, very light. Considering what this is based off on, it's not even crack.
(and this is me saying, I'm alive, though I really don't want to talk about RL. Like at all >_<).
***
In the end, he should have known that with Lelouch everything would just result in an experiment. Like the heads in the fridge, the eyeballs in the microwave or the spiders he kept under his bed or the one time he decided that the only way you could find out the exact temperature of a corpse was to take a dip in the Thames in the middle of November.
… Suzaku still shuddered at the thought of that, not because it had been a pain to pull Lelouch out of the river, but all the complaining he’d been forced to put with when he’d told Lelouch that i) he couldn't leave the bed any time soon, and that ii) the world could very well live without his showing off 99 % of the time.
But this was topping even that event. Suzaku coughed, and shifted on his chair a bit, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to make sense of just what they were doing here, and not discussing ... whatever Lelouch wanted to discuss like two rational adults. “Right, so what is this?”
Lelouch gave him a look that pronounced that Suzaku should very well know what this graph depicted - never mind the fact that the numbers and equations really told Suzaku nothing - and that he was lowering the IQ of entire London for even bothering to ask. “It’s a graph.”
… Despite the fact that he was currently fending off this irresistible urge to punch Lelouch in the face, Suzaku forced himself to just smile (awkwardly), and rub his hand against his chin. “Yes, … I can see that. I’m just wondering what it’s about …because you know not everyone majored in Mathematics.” He really wondered what it was about Lelouch that made him feel like a right idiot about half of the time. The other half of the time he found himself doubting Lelouch’s sanity.
Lelouch sighed, and then shook his head. “As always you show that ordinary people really don’t know what’s most relevant in a relationship.” He paused, casting a hopeful look in Suzaku’s direction.
“… Just go on,” Suzaku said, still forcing himself to sound somewhat enthusiastic, though he found himself aching for a pint of beer. Or two.
Thankfully, Lelouch was always glad to show off his skills, and - with alarming energy - started talking. Quickly. “Well, as you know, we’ve been working together for a while now, and though I said, I was married to my work and not interested, recent events have made me realise that a consummation of our partnership wouldn’t only be beneficial, but very much desired.” He smiled. “But, considering my domineering personality and your previous experience that has mostly been limited to women, I have decided to analyse -“
“Pardon, what?”… Suzaku, who’d mostly listened with only half-hearted interest at first, now could only gape wide-eyed at Lelouch, trying to gauge that Lelouch had just professed interest in him, and that he was currently … he coughed. “Don’t tell me that you’re serious about this. This is a joke, right?” Because no one in their right mind showed interest in such a manner.
Unfortunately, Lelouch looked regularly crest-fallen and even hurt. He crossed his arms. “Of course, I’m serious.” He pointed at the graph, showing one of the equations and then said, “This curve here represents how often we should switch. I’ve calculated that it would be in our best interests to take turns because, quite frankly -“ he paused, chewing on his underlip, “I would get bored only being a bottom, though the temptation of letting myself go under your guidance is most … alluring.” He tapped a finger against the block of paper. “And you’d miss it - being in control. A part of you craves it as much as another part of you wants domination-“he smiled widely then, “that’s part of the reason why you were such a good soldier because you like following orders. And I would have no problem satisfying those desires in you. So, all those factors taken into account, I’ve think that it’s best if we switch -“ Lelouch tilted his head to the side, obviously thinking and re-arranging the numbers in his head, “around four times week. Or twice, depending on whether or not I find out whether sex is worth so much of my time … Yes that should be it. Questions?”
How he managed to get this across so nonchalantly and matter-of-factly was something Suzaku would never understand. And all he could do now was just…stare. Because: when, how, why? And Lelouch wasn’t making the awkwardness any better, by just standing there, eyes focused intently on him, reading (observing) every single expression flitting over Suzaku’s face.
“I realise it’s a bit of a surprise, but -“ Lelouch smiled, “with a bit of experimentation and the trial and error procedure, we’ll find a way, I’m certain.” And then Lelouch walked over to Suzaku, placing his long, thin arms on his shoulders. “I know you want this. Your eyes were reading every movements of my lips, and I’m sure -“ he whispered, “if I leaned in just a bit closer, your breath would quicken, and if I took your -“
Enough was enough, Suzaku decided and just sat up and pulled Lelouch in for a kiss - not a tender one, not even very shy, but hungry and demanding.
“Wait, this isn’t going by protocol-“ Lelouch protested, frowning.
“Sod that. Just shut up and kiss me or we’re not doing anything at all.”